Virginity

uchimizu said:
Well, I think that virginity was linked to the risk of pregnancy. And even in the most progressive societies of the world, only women get pregnant.
Also, there is some (ableit imperfect) way to check if a woman is virgin, whereas there is none for a man. In general, it is not worth having rules about something you cannot check.
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I understand that, but these days a woman can reduce her chances of not getting pregnant.

I'm not talking about virginity in the historical context. I'm talking about now. I'm asking why is it still placed on the woman to remain a virgin?
 
katsumoto said:
maybe you'll understand this by more second thought ...
I don't want to tell you about religion coz in all religions are forbiden that..
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This is simply not true.

-I'll speak in more open mind and thought ,
first of all males want to do sex with evey beautiful girl or any one else..
when they do that ,they'll throw her like trash (sorry for this but most people who i know they do that .. in every foreign country )..
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If most men you know "throw away a girl like trash" after having a sexual relationship, then it sounds like you don't associate with very nice people.
While that may be true of some men, it's not true of all, or even most. You must have a very low opinion of your fellow men.

so what is the defference between girl who lost her virgin and girl works in night clubs ... and morethat it's sensitive work that end feeling when you end do sensitive sex work ...
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I'm not really sure what you're trying to say here. Are you saying that once a girl has sex she automatically becomes a prostitute? That's ridiculous.

in medicine thought there are a lot of ills that it's harm in body that made very great pain ..
- until people who work in sex(like sex site ) every day they have people who die and have strong pain in genitalia area .
and by the way people make AIDS
this bad virus create him self with one way and women who create it ..although they have clean body from this virus .....
when woman do sex relationship with many men .. that create this virus with intermixture the DNA male's liquid ...that make trouble in body's system in woman
and create this virus and send this virus to other males , and so on .
other side can move with body's casualty ...
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Again, I'm not sure exactly what you're saying but it's clear you don't really know much about how STDs are transmitted. We have condoms now which while not 100%, are quite effective in preventing the spread of disease. Also just because someone is not a virgin doesn't mean that they are suddenly going out and having unprotected sex with multiple people. That's a ridiculous assumption. You also seem to be placing all the blame for STDs on women, when I think you'll find if you cared to research it that it's much easier for STDs to be transmitted from a man to a woman.
 
Ma Cherie said:
So you're basically saying a woman who loses her virginity is ****?
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I didn't mean like **** ... but I compared girl who lose her virgin like dog that his master throw it away ... that mean ...
in my point that when girl lose her virgin like ... some one throw away thing that it's very cheap like trash ... marriage is for human only ...
if girl do that without marry , like animals ..
remember : females of animals do sex ,every time to bring baby animals,
with more one males of their kinds ...
I think every one get it ..


Ma Cherie said:
Why are you placing women within that false dichotomy?

Woman who is a virgin=good
Woman who isn't a virgin=bad
Am I wrong?
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yes that right ,


Ma Cherie said:
But you didn't really answer my question earlier, why is it that woman has to maintain her virginity and not a man? That's a double standard. If you live in a society where virginity is important, it should be important for both men and women.
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it's important for both ... but in my society opposite of you ..
who lose his virgin in both sex , we despise them ....
 
becki_kanou said:
If most men you know "throw away a girl like trash" after having a sexual relationship, then it sounds like you don't associate with very nice people.
While that may be true of some men, it's not true of all, or even most. You must have a very low opinion of your fellow men.
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don't worry I have many friends (girls) in my country ,but our relationship is only friendship .. coz friendship doesn't depend on sex to be close friends or something like that ....
but if I think that ,I'll do sex with girl and throw her to other one ..
and that depends (like Dreamer said ) on nurturing in society.

becki_kanou said:
I'm not really sure what you're trying to say here. Are you saying that once a girl has sex she automatically becomes a prostitute? That's ridiculous.
Again, I'm not sure exactly what you're saying but it's clear you don't really know much about how STDs are transmitted. We have condoms now which while not 100%, are quite effective in preventing the spread of disease. Also just because someone is not a virgin doesn't mean that they are suddenly going out and having unprotected sex with multiple people. That's a ridiculous assumption. You also seem to be placing all the blame for STDs on women, when I think you'll find if you cared to research it that it's much easier for STDs to be transmitted from a man to a woman.
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don't worry I 've read a lot about STD and a lot of diseases that create in this work ... until oral work has alot of diseases ,
and I know there are many great defence about that , but .......


Finally it's my point about that , and every one has point .
and do what you want ......
 
Ma Cherie said:
But you didn't really answer my question earlier, why is it that woman has to maintain her virginity and not a man? That's a double standard. If you live in a society where virginity is important, it should be important for both men and women.
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Look at the country is is from, and are you really surprised by his attitude? Not his fault, it is the society that he lives in fault. A man can do no wrong when it comes to sex, but a woman is the temptress. His reply to the woman bad/good shows it. This attitude can still be found in the west as well. despite what we think Europe and North American still do not sexual equality when it comes to sex. I now, I have worked with baka like that.
 
I didn't mean like **** ... but I compared girl who lose her virgin like dog that his master throw it away ... that mean ...
in my point that when girl lose her virgin like ... some one throw away thing that it's very cheap like trash ... marriage is for human only ...
if girl do that without marry , like animals ..
remember : females of animals do sex ,every time to bring baby animals,
with more one males of their kinds ...
I think every one get it ..
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You are saying women who have premarital sex are *****. You're just using different words like calling her a "dog." Even if you didn't mean in that sense, that's you're saying. You're attitude towards women in general is quite disgusting to be honest, and you call yourself being open minded but you're not.

Look at the country is is from, and are you really surprised by his attitude? Not his fault, it is the society that he lives in fault. A man can do no wrong when it comes to sex, but a woman is the temptress. His reply to the woman bad/good shows it. This attitude can still be found in the west as well. despite what we think Europe and North American still do not sexual equality when it comes to sex. I now, I have worked with baka like that.
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Well he calls himself being "open minded" but he isn't. So no I shouldn't be surprised, because he comes from a part of the world where honor killings seem common.

And you're right, that attitude still exist in the west. I don't know what's so threatening about a woman who is sexual. ☝
 
I think to glorify virginity is dangerous. To hold back an urge such as sex is very dangerous because it usually leads to someone going overboard on it later in life. Its like dieting. Lets say one day you decide you want to go on a strict diet to curb your urge for eating unhealthy food. You follow this diet so strickly that you don't eat any bad food for weeks. Then your best friend walks over with one of your favorate deserts and starts eating it infront of you. You may be able to resist the urge a few times but eventually your going to tell yourself you have been good and only tasting a little bit of it will not hurt your diet. Then you just start going crazy, every day eating while feeling guilty for doing so which just magnifies your appetite.

Sex is the same way. Many people wait, then when they finally expirience it for the first time they go crazy with it.

I think that instead of glorifying virginity and teaching abstinance we sould educate kids on matters of sex. We should teach them about the responsability they have in protecting themselves and the concequences if they happen to have kids. Instead of ignoring or telling them their natural growing appetite for the opposite sex is wrong, we should feed it with education.
 
I think the needs for sex grow in a different way depending on the enviroment you come from and the people you coexist with and learn things from.
Abstinence is better for some people that aren't informed enough or just don't feel the need to experiment. While, like the person above said, it might be better for those who feel the urges to let them flow in order to prevent any conflict, complex or obsession in their lifes, as long as they are well informed about all the conditions and possibilities...

It's a different process for everybody and no one should be judged on the decissions they make towards their sex life, because even if they don't do it with responsability, it's a very intimate issue that has a different degree of importance to each person...
 
XCrisX said:
I think the needs for sex grow in a different way depending on the enviroment you come from and the people you coexist with and learn things from.
Abstinence is better for some people that aren't informed enough or just don't feel the need to experiment. While, like the person above said, it might be better for those who feel the urges to let them flow in order to prevent any conflict, complex or obsession in their lifes, as long as they are well informed about all the conditions and possibilities...
It's a different process for everybody and no one should be judged on the decissions they make towards their sex life, because even if they don't do it with responsability, it's a very intimate issue that has a different degree of importance to each person...
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I dissagree. No matter what enviornment you grow up in, the natural process takes place. How it is acted out can be different based on your enviornment. Education levels that field.
 
katsumoto said:
this is a wrong point of view coz in all religions or communities . they agree
that women honor is the most expensive thing that a woman can have.
moreover , woman must do her best in defending for this issue..
replying about ur idea that human should have sex or whatever
i say that woman is not considered to be goods or any thing else .
it is a thing that can't be sized or marketed (night clubs)
howevre i advise u to give this issue a second thought or reconsider it.
I agree with you sister .
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I was shocked to see this reply, but then I noticed your flag - Syria. Sweetie, you were raised in a Muslim country. You're a hardcore Muslim. As your post proved, you think women HAVE to preserve their Virginity until marriage, otherwise they will be considered as sharmoota's no? - for all you out there, sharmoota is a word for a **** in Arabic. So, it is okay for men to have sex with everything that walks - including those '*****', but a woman THEY will marry, she must be a Virgin? Double standards anyone? That is why I don't like religion meddling into sexuality, for those 'religious rules' were written by men.

Why are you even replying to this topic? Isn't it haram to even read posts like these for you, let along replying?
 
Absynthia said:

I was shocked to see this reply, but then I noticed your flag - Syria. Sweetie, you were raised in a Muslim country. You're a hardcore Muslim. As your post proved, you think women HAVE to preserve their Virginity until marriage, otherwise they will be considered as sharmoota's no? - for all you out there, sharmoota is a word for a **** in Arabic. So, it is okay for men to have sex with everything that walks - including those '*****', but a woman THEY will marry, she must be a Virgin? Double standards anyone? That is why I don't like religion meddling into sexuality, for those 'religious rules' were written by men.
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as I talked before I didn't mention the religion yet ...
and I post my opinion as last participations ..,but that related to society ..
this issue that youngers have to lose their virgin very common in west ,in Eroupe and north USA and that related to bad society . until movie's writers did movies about bad society in USA ....
and you say that Islam and muslims don't do that ... but if you look to middle east and easter Asia (Japan,China ) and many countries that not common and I have a lot of friends (girls) from japan and china and their age 25 , and yet they didn't lose their virgin ...

and that not rare , in Syria there are many night clubs and has shamootas who do sex with many guys ..
and every country has rules .. e.g ..
if we say ,in every country, what is the great issue make people kill person or see him like despite ....
syria : honor and killing purposely ..
USA (for example ) to came late to ur work ,, just examples ..

and finally that related to person's moral and traditions ...


Absynthia said:

Why are you even replying to this topic? Isn't it haram to even read posts like these for you, let along replying?
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HARAM : when I do something bad is haram .. .. if you did bad work first time and repent to won't do that ,, not haram ... ( it's not about religion , even the person was atheist and he knew the right from wrong it not haram)
but haram to know bad thing and do it again ...

why people smoke or do sex ? they don't know ,,

no they know but they do the opposite .
sorry I lengthen to you .
 
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Do you think much of it, do you even care?
Are you a virgin?
Are you waiting?

If you have already given it up, was it by choice?
Was it right? Meaning did you give it away to the right person?
Do you regret what you did?
How old were you, etc?
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1) No.
2) Yes.
3) No.

I don't care about women or sex. I have more important things to deal with.
 
Ma Cherie said:
I'm talking about now. I'm asking why is it still placed on the woman to remain a virgin?
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Is it? There hasn't been that pressure here for a long time. Twenty years ago my friends were losing their virginity at the age of 13 or 14, and as far as I can tell it's the same now.
 
I don't think katsumoto was placing it only on the woman.
Well he can answer for himself: do you think that it's okay for men to sleep around?
'Sleeping around' is different thing from 'having sex', but a woman or man who is virgin will be doing neither...
 
xtremevillan said:
19, so no doubt my views are to change when I get older, right? :P
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Probably. I know of women that at 19 didn't want children or be married. 10/15 years down the line they are happily married with kids. Mind you there are also those that never change their minds, and then there are those that shouldn't be allowed to have kids (Baby P comes to mind:eek:)
 
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Some stay virgins out of fear of there parents other really don't care. This is all of a question of morals. I waited for my husband to honor him with an untouched woman. I am proud of that.
 
The question is would you like him to be untouched as well? That way he could be honouring you, or does, or should it, only work the one way?
 
xtremevillan said:
Correct. I have entertained the idea but not for me.
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one of three things are true here. Either your saying so as a defense mechanism against rejection, or..... your one of the very few extreemly shelterd 19 year olds I have ever seen. Or, your gay.
 
I dont know what I think, I am a little traditionell in my views on sexuality, that goes for both men and women. I dont see any need to rush or anything. In general I wouldnt want to be with a women that "goes to bed" easily, I dont judge anyone its just my preference and I dont go to bed easily eaither...hmm if that makes sense. It can be a sensetive topic...
 
Mycernius said:
The question is would you like him to be untouched as well? That way he could be honouring you, or does, or should it, only work the one way?
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We all know it is wishful thinking to think the guys will be virgins. Very few are for it is for some reason an insult to there manlyness. I don't know if anyone would agree with me but that is how I see it. Virgin men are seen as gay or unable to give children to the woman. A man good at sex makes a good mate. That is just the mind set of our time with make sense unless you are very conserative.
 

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