- 15 Nov 2002
- 1,837
- 64
The latest going around regarding Congressmen and women 
exerpts:
She called a 1-800 number to get some information. She was told she
needed to speak to someone in customer service. She asked for the
office hours and was given them. When she asked the time zone for
the office, the operator told her it didn't matter. Confused my
friend said, I need to know the time zone so I can know what time
they close. The operator acted like my friend was retarded and
calmly explained that the time zone didn't matter because the office
closed at 5pm every day. My friend tried once again to explain that
she was on Central time and she wanted know when the latest time was
that she could call. Again the lady explained that it didn't matter -
5 o'clock is 5 o'clock. Uummm - okay.
Don't you just wonder how some people get along in life?
READ the other good ones below.
Why our country is in trouble
Perhaps this will help explain it all. A Washington, DC airport
ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the
passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying
to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without
trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa,"
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando
.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain
that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a
very thin state!"
4. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could
rent a car in Dallas When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he
had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted
to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
5. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know
how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and
got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time
zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
6. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs
to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I
checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said
(FAT), and I'm overweight.
I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute
while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained
the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the airline was just
putting a destination tag on her luggage.
7. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper
to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii ?"
8. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
"How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he
meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but
none of these planes have numbers on them."
9. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola ,
Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if
she meant fly to Pensacola , Fl. On a commuter plane. She said,
"Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
10. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents
he needed in order to fly to China After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't.
I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I
told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and
every time they have accepted my American Express!"
11. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want
to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ." I was at a loss for words.
Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes, what flights
do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back
with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the
country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh,
don't be silly!
Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of
the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply?
"Whatever! I knew it was a big animal".
--------------
Ten Commandments Congressman can't name them
In this video, Stephen Colbert nails Georgia Representative Lynn Westmoreland, a Congressman who's co-sponsored a bill to require the display of the Ten Commandments in the House of Reps and the Senate.
After bantering with Westmoreland for a couple minutes, Colbert says, "What are the Ten Commandments?" Stephen Colbert: What are the Ten Commandments?
Lynn Westmoreland: What are all of them?
SC: Yes.
LW: You want me to name them all?
SC: Yes.
LW: Uhhh.
LW: Ummmm. Don't murder. Don't lie. Don't steal. Ummmmm.
LW: I can't name them all.
http://gorillamask.net/colbert10c.shtml
Now you know why Government is in the shape that it's in!
exerpts:
She called a 1-800 number to get some information. She was told she
needed to speak to someone in customer service. She asked for the
office hours and was given them. When she asked the time zone for
the office, the operator told her it didn't matter. Confused my
friend said, I need to know the time zone so I can know what time
they close. The operator acted like my friend was retarded and
calmly explained that the time zone didn't matter because the office
closed at 5pm every day. My friend tried once again to explain that
she was on Central time and she wanted know when the latest time was
that she could call. Again the lady explained that it didn't matter -
5 o'clock is 5 o'clock. Uummm - okay.
Don't you just wonder how some people get along in life?
READ the other good ones below.
Why our country is in trouble
Perhaps this will help explain it all. A Washington, DC airport
ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the
passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying
to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without
trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa,"
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando
.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain
that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a
very thin state!"
4. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could
rent a car in Dallas When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he
had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted
to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
5. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know
how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and
got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time
zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
6. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs
to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I
checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said
(FAT), and I'm overweight.
I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute
while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained
the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the airline was just
putting a destination tag on her luggage.
7. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper
to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii ?"
8. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
"How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he
meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but
none of these planes have numbers on them."
9. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola ,
Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if
she meant fly to Pensacola , Fl. On a commuter plane. She said,
"Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
10. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents
he needed in order to fly to China After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't.
I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I
told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and
every time they have accepted my American Express!"
11. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want
to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ." I was at a loss for words.
Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes, what flights
do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back
with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the
country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh,
don't be silly!
Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of
the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply?
"Whatever! I knew it was a big animal".
--------------
Ten Commandments Congressman can't name them
In this video, Stephen Colbert nails Georgia Representative Lynn Westmoreland, a Congressman who's co-sponsored a bill to require the display of the Ten Commandments in the House of Reps and the Senate.
After bantering with Westmoreland for a couple minutes, Colbert says, "What are the Ten Commandments?" Stephen Colbert: What are the Ten Commandments?
Lynn Westmoreland: What are all of them?
SC: Yes.
LW: You want me to name them all?
SC: Yes.
LW: Uhhh.
LW: Ummmm. Don't murder. Don't lie. Don't steal. Ummmmm.
LW: I can't name them all.
http://gorillamask.net/colbert10c.shtml
Now you know why Government is in the shape that it's in!
