Tall blonde female in Japan - how to blend in?

[Nordica]

I'm 6 foot tall with blue eyes and blonde hair and very pale skin. I've never had a tan as my skin is stupidly white and just burns in about 10 minutes. I'm so white I glow in the dark!
My (Chinese) friend just came back from Japan (where his wife is from) and we were looking through his pictures. I was just aching with desire to go to Japan. I'd forgotten how much. Looking through the pictures really rekindled my need to see Japan and my husband has said we can go there for a family holiday to celebrate my 30th birthday next year.
I've wanted to go for about 10 years, I've studied the language for 15 years & am really into the art and culture too. Too many interests for words, I want to see the Sakura and the temples and the... if I let myself talk about all my interests in Japan this post would be too long.
I don't really understand Manga or anime, but I love the traditional things more.
I really hate being the centre of attention and I'm a very shy person. Even in the UK I stand out a bit because of my height. When I wear flat shoes my feet look the size of boats and when I wear heels I look stupidly tall. I'm always getting asked if I'm Dutch or Swedish but I'm just tall with pale colouring.
How much would I stand out in Japan and what could I do to blend in more easily? I'm quite fluent in the language and art and culture. I can talk really easily (in Japanese) about these things. But getting stared at or laughed at for 'standing out' too much would be very hard for me. I don't want to just visit the tourist places, I'd like to see those places too but I really want to visit the quiet little places more.
We're planning a trip next year. My husband is Asian (although Indian not Japanese) and we have twin daughters aged six.
I would love to see the bright lights and busy tourist areas but only very quickly. I really want to see the traditional places more.
I'd be thankful for any advice.

 

[noyhauser]

Tough question.

If you're only 6 foot it might not be that bad, particularly if you're only planning to go to major tourist sites and stick to major cities like Tokyo, Osaka and to a lesser extent Kyoto . You're bound to attract some attention as a white woman in Japan, however most Japanese are polite and don't tend to bother you in general. You might get the odd sidelong stare but I can't see people going out of their way to do things that might make you feel uncomfortable. If you go out to smaller cities or rural areas that might change. I have a friend who fits your physical description and she had a great time and I'd say she's not one to want much attention.

It might be helpful to bring the kids along, so you're not walking around by yourself or your husband... though thats completely an untested assumption on my part. Others might have different views so I'll defer to them.

Good luck.

 

[Nordica]

Thank you Noyhauser that's actually very helpful. I might be ok with the occasional sideways glance as I get that anyway because I dislike flat shoes (they make my feet look so big!). So I look about 6 foot 3 with normal shoes. Ack!

I wouldn't go anywhere without my children or husband, just because I don't anyway but also they don't speak Japanese so I couldn't leave them alone. I love how you say 'only' 6 foot. Bless you! I hate feeling wierd. I thought 6 foot was wierd even here. I guess if people are used to tourists then it might not be so odd because some tourists will be tall too. I'd really like to see the smaller more traditional places more than the tourist areas but I was also thinking that having small children (twins) might help to draw attention away from myself and so that would make me more comfortable too. thanks again.

 

[noyhauser]

Well "only 6 foot" means to me 6'0", not if you're 6'6" or above. Really I think you're probably going to get some attention, but if you're in a family group in a city and trying to act like normal tourists, I just can't see how you'd get too much.

 

[Nordica]

That makes a lot of sense. Though surely a 6'6 female would be highly unusual anywhere? My older sister is 6'3 and she is married to a Welsh born, Canadian raised basketball player. He's 6'8 and it is unusual for even men to be that tall so he gets a lot of attention too, although like me he's shy and doesn't enjoy it. My sister is much more outgoing than I am.
their kids are 10 and 13 and they are already taller than their teachers at school! lol
Not one of my family is under 6 foot before the age of 12... It's ok if you're confident, but when you're shy then it's not always easy.

 

[noyhauser]

Yeah, I've seen the same problems among some of my friends. One who was 6'6" isn't shy but found stuff in her life difficult. Another friend (the one who went to Japan) might not seem shy when you first meet her but actually is. I think she found her time in Japan a pleasant one.

 

[FrustratedDave]

Ha,Ha, Blend in , Blue eyes, Blond hair and Japan all in the same sentence. Good luck with that one.

And all this talk of how tall you are, it wouldn't matter same as everyone else, you won't blend in. Get used to it.

 

[nice gaijin]

If you look that different, there is no blending in, but like noyhauser said, the odd sidelong glance will be hard to avoid, especially in less diverse areas. In big cities people may take notice of you but probably won't do anything obnoxious about it, like gawking at you with their mouth agape, or follow you around and try to touch your hair, or ask to have their photo taken with you. Having studied Japanese, you should be able to handle whatever situation may arise. Don't let a little shyness get in the way of enjoying your vacation.

 

[ArmandV]

Consider yourself someone the Japanese can look up to.

 

[Pachipro]

To be quite honest, a female foreigner at 6ft, blond hair, blue eyes and white skin, with twins in tow, you WILL be stared at and you will stand out. In Japan it is unavoidable even in a megalopolis like Tokyo and will be quite impossible to blend in as 99% of the people around you are Japanese. It may just not be that noticeable unless you look quickly. You just have to be prepared for it and expect it. You and your twins will be too hard for them NOT to notice. The Japanese just love twins. Just don't let your height and twins, along with your shyness, prevent you from going as you will be missing out on a truly unique experience.

How you and your family handle it, especially in the out-of-the-way places you'd like to visit where foreigners are even more rare, will determine how much you enjoy your visit, but it's something you and your family must psychologically prepare yourselves for; not in a negative sense, but in a positive one.

Looking on the bright side, people may assume that you are some sort of actress or international model, or somebody and the whispering you see or hear, or the occasional pointing (when people think you are not looking) will probably be along those lines. Just don't take it seriously as if they are talking negatively about you. They are just curious and you are a rarity which they only see on TV or read about.

Also, the fact that you can speak Japanese will make it that much more easier for you (and for the Japanese, as they will be nervous in the out of the way places as they will assume you speak no Japanese) and may even invite more attention towards you since they can now communicate with you and will probably have a hundred questions.

I say enjoy it, take advantage of it, and accept it with an open mind. You will find that the Japanese are far more friendlier and hospitable than you imagined once they get over their own shyness. You will probably have a far more wonderful stay with many warm memories and even a couple of new-found friends. If you've ever wondered what it was like to feel like a celebrity, you may just find out.

Good luck and be sure to come back here and let us know how it went.

 

[JimmySeal]

You can probably reduce the shock factor by avoiding tank tops (or any other tops that reveal much of the neck and shoulder area), shorts, and beach sandals. Though you may be forced to consider how much that's worth if you come at a hot time of the year.

Nobody is going to laugh at you, and any extra attention you get will be out of innocent curiosity, not animosity. Just be ready for it, get used to it quickly, and you should be able to have as much of an enjoyable time as anyone else.

 

[Chidoriashi]

You will definitely stand out, but I doubt people will bother you. I get the occasional drunk old guy that wants to come up and speak to me in English using all 10 words of his vocabulary, but aside from the occasional stare nobody bothers me. I am not so tall (5'9) but I am a blonde-haired blue-eyed white guy.

 

[Nozomi]

I want some of those DNA that made you tall.

5'9 male here.

 

[Shizuka142]

are there also tall Japanese women? I have never been there so sorry for my stupid question. I met only few Japanese women in my country and they were all really short (me 172 cm).

 

[noppochan]

Hey Nordica,

I`m one inch off six foot, female and blonde. I`m also curvy, which is also unusual in Japan. I`ve lived in Tokyo, and I currently live in the middle of a lot of rice fields in the countryside. So I might be able to help.

You can`t blend in. It`s a simple fact: in less you`re prepared to dye your hair black and chop your legs off, it`s a physical impossibility. But you shouldn`t want to.

Japanese people tend to be shy, and - especially in the countryside - seeing somebody who looks so obviously foreign will create a stir. People will stare, and little children will run up to you in the middle of a supermarket and just stand there ogling. When you turn around you`ll notice that the entire shop is watching you. When you`re on a train, people will either openly stare, or they`ll do their utmost not to make any eye contact at all, which is worse. You will be very unusual in Japan - even in Tokyo - and so the people around you will be intrigued and curious.

But it is not scary, and it is not threatening in the slightest. This is the most important thing for me to tell you. Japanese people will be openly curious about you, and openly astounded, but it is in - generally - a very sweet, shy way. Even when they confront you openly - I always have little old ladies coming up to me in onsens, because being naked ironically makes it easier for them to approach you, and they always comment on how tall i am, or how blonde, or how curvy - they are just fascinated. It`s not judgemental: you have to realise that the majority of Japanese people don`t travel, especially not from an older generation, and Japan is largely homogenous: there isn`t a mix of races like there is in Europe (I`m British). They don`t see many people who aren`t Japanese, and so they marvel at you and you can see it in their faces: it`s not judgemental, but just interested.

Honestly, it`s really nice. People WILL say things, people WILL notice you, people WILL stare. But they`re just being friendly, and they`re just amazed at how different you are. What you`ll also be surprised by is how jealous they are; as my Japanese has improved I`ve had more and more conversations with Japanese girls who are desperate to be tall and blonde. So don`t try and blend in. That`s the simple answer. Enjoy being different, because it`s a wonderful experience, and enjoy bringing something different to the Japanese community, even if it`s just the way you look. For instance I teach children, and for my under 6s I`m the first non-black eyed person they`ve ever seen. The astonishment of a four year old Japanese child confronting green eyes for the first time is really wonderful. You`re opening their eyes.

And if you get a few snippy comments - and I doubt you will, because I haven`t - then just accept that it is a different culture, and the people around you may be a little frightened.

I hope this helps. Please don`t be scared to come to Japan because of your height and colouring. It is a lovely country, and the people here are warm and friendly, if a little shy. You will be able to see the sights, but also give them something interesting to look at too, for a little while. Isn`t that a good thing?

Just don`t worry. Enjoy all of the things that come with being yourself.

x

 

[Glenski]

A six-foot blond person will stand out physically in Japan. You can't get around it, even by dyeing your hair, although that won't hurt. There may be times when you see or hear kids pointing and staring and maybe even shouting to you. Big deal. They're kids and would do that for any foreigner. I'm a pretty average causasian, and when I road a bike once down a residential area, a kid followed me on the other side of the street shouting "hello!" for 10 minutes. And I sat in a train depot and heard a whole car load of munchkins shouting "hello" from across the tracks. Just say hello back, and watch their surprise. In your case, say konnichi wa, and watch them pee their pants.

Since you know enough of the language, you'll blend in socially, so just go and enjoy the fact that you won't have to speak slowly and loudly in English like so many foreign tourists.

 

[Emoni]

Only one way to fit in, as we all know fitting is the most important thing in life right? Here is my advice. You must follow my advice. You will follow my advice.

1: Dye your hair black and straighten it.

2: Brush up on Japanese pop culture, the best way to do this is to play the radio in the background, especially in the shower.

3: Lose weight. Aim to lose as much as you can till you can see the bottom two of your ribs if your arms are raised above your head (scientific method)

4: Divorce your husband.

5: Cut off your legs at the knee. This will adjust your height to the correct level.

Tada, problem solved.

 

[Navy Guy]

LOL... thats it.

 

[FrustratedDave]

Well if Emoni is going to post his way, I feel compelled to post mine.

This is the only chance you have.

 

[YukiAnne]

Japanese people tend to be shy, and - especially in the countryside - seeing somebody who looks so obviously foreign will create a stir. People will stare, and little children will run up to you in the middle of a supermarket and just stand there ogling. When you turn around you`ll notice that the entire shop is watching you. When you`re on a train, people will either openly stare, or they`ll do their utmost not to make any eye contact at all, which is worse. You will be very unusual in Japan - even in Tokyo - and so the people around you will be intrigued and curious.
But it is not scary, and it is not threatening in the slightest. This is the most important thing for me to tell you. Japanese people will be openly curious about you, and openly astounded, but it is in - generally - a very sweet, shy way.
...don`t try and blend in. That`s the simple answer. Enjoy being different, because it`s a wonderful experience, and enjoy bringing something different to the Japanese community, even if it`s just the way you look.
x

Quoted for truth. I'm only 5'4", which is on the taller average side for women here in Japan, but I've got red hair and blue eyes and I am also curvy, so standing out is unavoidable for me. When I first moved here I felt like everyone was staring and I honestly felt quite hideous at times. But when I learned to just accept that I am different, and that that's okay, I was a lot happier. And I think nobody was more critical of the fact that I stand out than I was.

People aren't rude to you if you stand out. They might give you sidelong glances and ignore you, but that's not from unfriendliness; most Japanese don't approach you if they think you don't speak Japanese, because they're uncomfortable with their own abilities in English, and they don't want to make a mistake or embarrass themselves. But I've found that if I smile, bow, and greet them in Japanese, their whole demeanor usually changes. Usually. I occasionally get an old lady who mutters a return greeting and still gives me sidelong glances, but usually, if you are kind and indicate that you have some competence in Japanese, people will be friendly and kind to you in return.

Other than that, just embrace the difference.

 

[Shizuka142]

I am sorry for interfering...I wonder that Japanese people are still not used to foreighners...

 

[Glenski]

No need to wonder, Shizuka. Many Japanese have never seen a foreigner except on TV or in movies. Even those in big cities don't always have opportunities to talk to them.

 

[YukiAnne]

It's true.

If you're Japanese and you find errors what I'm about to post, please correct me. I've read a few books on Japanese psychology and history, but since I'm not Japanese, I can't claim expertise.

Because Japan is an island nation, Japan more than many other nations has been homogenous. Japan didn't have much contact with the west until a Portuguese ship was blown off course and landed in Japan in 1543. In 1635, Japan closed her borders to the West, with the exception of maintaining some trade with the Dutch. It wasn't until 1853 that Commodore Matthew Perry of the US showed up with a fleet of gunships and managed to resume relations with Japan. However, the trade negotiations that he opened up were rather one-sided, in favor of the West. During this time, Japan received a great deal of Western influence, but remained a unified Japanese state up until WWII.

It has been almost 70 years since the war ended, and Japanese society has changed much, but it is still a rare case to see Westerners, especially the farther out you get into the country. The reactions probably aren't as strong as they used to be, since it's fairly common for English schools to hire native speakers. But remember that not all native English speakers are Caucasian or African American. There are many foreign teachers who come to Japan who are Asian American. Also, the majority of foreigners who have immigrated to Japan are from Korea or China.

Japanese may be more used to foreigners than you think, but people of European and African descent still stand out quite a bit.

 

[Shizuka142]

our teacher told us how she was in spa and as the only one Caucasian she really standed out...because she was somewhere where foreigners weren't so usual as in big cities...she said that some of the people have never seen a foreigner in their life.