Older Women

[kirei_na_me]

What do you(guys in particular) think about a woman having a relationship with a guy who is 5 or more years her junior?

We often hear about older men with younger women and it seems like there's no problem with that. However, when it comes to older women with younger men, it doesn't seem quite as acceptable.

I know this doesn't really fall in the "advice" category, but I thought it was better suited here than in the Opinions section.

I would really like to hear some guys weigh in on this issue.

 

[DoctorP]

my wife is 4 years older than me. I know quite a few people in the same situation. I have always dated older women, except for 2 girlfriends of mine. Of course if the right 28 year old were available, then I would have to change my way of thinking!

 

[Duo]

well from my own judgment i'd say i would have no problem seeing an older woman, not like really old though, i mean if i could go out with an older woman i think it be highly enjoyable depending on the person of course, the thing is when i look at women i just look at them in general terms, looks, behavior, thinkin etc etc, age is just a dependant variable in this case, i can allow it to vary like other things as race ethnicity and what not.

Of course I wouldn't try to have something with a 45 year old laday, plussss, there is this aura about older women/girls, like well i donna, a sort of embeded sexiness that frizzles up on the inside and that can be turned on and radiates like a light bulb, i donna , it's hard to explain, the difference i think between younger girls is that you can clearly see their attributes and sexiness, they are showin it off, but older girls well they make you wanna find out yourself, with this expression that's sayin like "come turn on this light bulb if you can "


PS: i don't think 28 is considered to be OLDER rather it's more like more grown up

 

[Mycernius]

I have no problem with it at all. I know some damn sexy 40+ women and they seem to have a bit more confidence about them. It does seem there are double standards when it comes to male/female relationships. A man can date any woman he wants and have as many partners as he wants without much of a condemnation from society in general, especially other men. If a woman acted that way though she would be called a ****, loose and various other derogatory terms. It does seem even with equal rights in some ways women still have a long way to go

 

[Davey]

my fiancee is 27 (7 years older then me) , i think this is fine, and i dont have a problem with it, we have our differnce sometimes, but thats more culture then age, i have my expierence and she has hers.

me to know some people who have a relation ship with older people 5-10 years. i think this is just fine, i think age is just a number, age doesnt say much about expierence i think...

when you are 40 and have worked for the same company when you were 18, and when you go on holiday to the camping 1 hour drive from your house, if you compair that to somebody who is 25 and traveled the world, had sex with 70 woman ( male *****) went to uni...... i think the young fella have more expierence.... so age is just a number for me.

not a problem, just it are the people around us that make a problem of it sometimes..... thats it

I LOVE YOU MAYUKO

 

[Damicci]

窶喇'窶壺?楪 窶塒??壺?ｰ窶壺?敖 窶壺?ｰ窶壺?敖！
Seriously though. I don't see the big deal. Same as older men and younger women. If your happy with that person the enjoy yoursevles. as long as both parties are legal ...

 

[Ma Cherie]

I guess age is a matter for me. I have certain issues with it, because there are times when I feel the reason why an older guy is dating a younger woman is because perhaps the guy want's some sort of self validation. Or just someone he can control. So, why not a naive woman? And it seems with the older woman, younger guy thing, is that the woman just wants to have her fun and at times it's the guy who wants the serious relationship. I don't know, that's just the way I feel about it. But some situations are different.

 

[TheKansaiKid]

I really think that the reason you see more older men / younger women relationships is that generally men take a bit longer to mature than women. I am 38 and still am known to occasionally act like a 14 year old. In a good honest love based relationship age is very unimportant. My wife is quite a bit older than I am, and other than our tastes in music which differ greatly I can honestly say the age difference has never bothered us.

 

[Sensuikan San]

My son (aged 31) has a girlfriend eleven years his senior - their relationship has now lasted much longer than many marriages I have observed !

It really shouldn't make a damn of a difference.

Regards,

ﾆ淡ﾆ停?｡ﾆ停?

 

[mad pierrot]

Wooohooo

Lot's of guys here with older girlfriends. Dig it.

Personally, I'm all for the older, more experienced women. When I was 14 I dated an 18 year old, thought I was Casanova himself. Did wonders for the ego. (Even though all I ever did was kiss her.)

 

[misa.j]

I think it depends on situations and both parties' maturity.
My marriage with me being 5 years older than my husband has been just great, but I think that's because he is maturer than I am in many ways.

I know two couples with older women that are working, including my parents (they got married in the 60s, so I assume it must've been kind of a big deal.)
I have a friend who married a younger man, but their marriage didn't work out. All of them are Japanese by the way, although I don't think it's so common in Japan.

As for acceptance, my family was worried about our age difference when I was getting married, and some people seem to be surprised a little when I tell them I'm 5 years older than my husband.

 

[Doc]

I think it all really depends on the situation of the relationship. For example my best friend's mother is ten years older than his father (however they ended up getting a divorce earlier this year), and they were married for over 22 years. I think it really all depends on the couple, and how it works out. However, there are some instances where if there is a massive age gap between the two, it just seems wrong for both men and women equally.

Doc:ramen:

 

[dreamer]

Well...I think it really depends ^^
I know someone who can't stand older women and is always going for high shoolers >_< (I think the closest term is paedophiliac or maybe lolita complex), and another of my acquaintances is with a woman 6 years older than him and they even have a baby.

Personally I think it's just a matter of common points, interests and so. Of course sometimes the difference between 2 persons can create gaps in the relationship (for example a 16 years old girl and a 25 years old guy aren't likely to think the same way), but still this problem varies from couple to couple.

 

[Pachipro]

Personally I've always had an affinity for older women. I don't know why and can't explain it. Now, go figure why I married a woman 7 years my junior? Life sure is strange.

Now that I am 50 years old, "mature" women still appeal to me. When I was younger I always wanted to date older women as they were more "experienced", if you know what I mean, and I was not disappointed. In fact it was an older woman who made a man out of me!

Anyway, I see nothing wrong with it as long as two people are in love or "click" emotionally and in a mature way. It's a well known fact that, with a male and female of the same age, the female will always be the more mature of the two.

I think so many people here in the US, and maybe other countries as well, look down upon an older female/younger male relationship because, since the male is known to be less mature for his age, people think the female is only after him because of his virility. Therefore they think she is only after him for sex and her intentions cannot be otherwise. What stupid puritanical thinking! Just look at the Demi Moore/Justin Kutcher(hope I spelled it right) relationship. She is like 40 something and he is in his 20's and they seem to have a great relationship-so far. Man do I envy that guy!

Alot of people here in the US are really uptight now at the growing number of older, good looking, school teachers having sex with their teenage students. Me? I say where were these teachers when I was in high school? That is every male teenagers fantasy!

In the end, regardless of who is the elder in a relationship, age shouldn't matter one bit! And besides, it's none of their business anyway so go for it and the hell with what other people may think!

 

[kirei_na_me]

Wow, thanks to all who have replied thus far, especially you, Pachipro. Very good post, as always. ;-)

I have always heard the jokes regarding the "more experienced" older women. The "Mrs. Robinson" syndrome, if you will. I'm just wondering if there can be something more to the realtionship than sex. I mean, that is extremely important, do not get me wrong , but do you think a couple like that can really connect on other levels?

And do not stop replying! Keep those opinions coming.

Oh, and stories are welcome, too, if you have any!

 

[jhough37]

Well to start off, it's Ashton Kutcher, Pachipro.

Anyway, on to the real question. I think it is perfectly acceptable for older women to date younger men. I myself have had relationships with women 10 and 6 years my senior, back to back. The only time I have had a problem with relationships has been since I turned about 24 or so. At that point I found it difficult to have a relationship with anyone under 21 because so many of the activities that took place, were usually somewhere where you had to be 21 to get into. It's not that I had to go to a bar or whatever, but if you are going out with a bunch of your friends, you want your girlfriend to be able to come along and hang out also. Just MHO.

 

[Pachipro]

I have always heard the jokes regarding the "more experienced" older women. The "Mrs. Robinson" syndrome, if you will. I'm just wondering if there can be something more to the realtionship than sex. I mean, that is extremely important, do not get me wrong , but do you think a couple like that can really connect on other levels?

Well, I was just about to sign off and get to bed, but I'll answer this first.

To be serious (and blunt) here, although important, sex MAY NOT be the only factor. But to the male, depending on the age, it may be the only factor as the hormones are just going wild around 20 or so years of age. The Mrs Robinson syndrome was clearly a case of an older woman wanting sex from a younger, virile man if I remember correctly.

In a relationship where the female is older, yes, they can connect on other levels and the female can be a catalyst in helping the male mature. However, one must be always aware of the Oedipus (spelling?) complex of the male. Is he looking for a mother figure? Is he mature on other levels?

I may get blasted by my male counterparts here, but it is a fact of life: One must be ALWAYS aware if the male is only into a relationship of this kind for the purposes of easy and experienced sex only as, when the hormones are raging, the male will do and say almost anything to get in the sack 2 or 3 times a day. Just look at male dogs when they know a female in the neighborhood is in heat. I've seen a small toy dog dig a hole under a fence to get to a female Akita in heat! I've had my neighbors dog rip my sneakers to shreds when my female dog was in heat and staked himself outside the house for almost a week. At such a young age, the hormones of the male must be taken into consideration as their only goal is sex, sex, and more sex. This is so important and where alot of older women get burned in the long run.

Although not proud today of it, I speak from experience here as, at my young age with the older woman, I had no desire for a long term relationship, but I DID NOT WANT THE SEX TO STOP and I said all the "right things" to keep the relationship going as long as possible as my "little head" was thinking in place of my bigger head. Hormones.

Is he mature enough, serious enough, and secure enough with the relationship that he will not soon tire of it and set his eyes on someone his own age or younger as he ages? Once the hormones calm down, will he wake up one day and say, "What the hell am I doing with this older woman?" Maturity here plays a big factor. If he is mature, then the relationship should be a normal one with age not entering into the equation. But one should NEVER forget that a males only desire in his early 20's is mainly sex and if the elder female is willing to give it because she is in love, and he in lust, then there will be a problem later on. But if sex is not the only factor and the two can connect emotionally on other levels, then it shoud be a satisfying relationship.

Hope this made some sense.

 

[jhough37]

not always

Not all men in their early 20s are in it purely for sex. I personally have had experiences where I have turned down sex, from age 19-24, now these last three years I look back and think (baka!) .

But seriously, men around that age really are controlled a lot by hormones, but it depends on the individual again. If it was really as bad with men as it was with animals, dance clubs would look like something more akin to battlefields. Although maybe they are battlefields, just a different sort.....

 

[jieshi]

I don't see a problem with it. Age shouldn' really be a factor (unless of course we are talking major major extremes, hey the ashton kutcher+demi moore thing is ok) it should be about the maturity of the two people. if you get on you get on, thats the end of it i think.

 

[Mimmy_08]

I think theres no problem with May-December affair, because men to understand..women need to be loved..

 

[Maciamo]

I think it depends a lot on the maturity of each person. My wife is one year older than me but seems 10 years younger both physically and mentally.

 

[Brooker]

I think so many people here in the US, and maybe other countries as well, look down upon an older female/younger male relationship because, since the male is known to be less mature for his age, people think the female is only after him because of his virility. Therefore they think she is only after him for sex and her intentions cannot be otherwise. What stupid puritanical thinking! Just look at the Demi Moore/Justin Kutcher(hope I spelled it right) relationship. She is like 40 something and he is in his 20's and they seem to have a great relationship-so far. Man do I envy that guy!

A friend of mine (lets call him Brooker) had a few "relationships" with women who were much older than him (in one case literally twice his age) when he was in his early 20's. Let's just say the "relationships" were very "physical" in nature . But both parties were pretty up front about not having any intention of pursuing anything serious with each other. It was an enjoyable experience and no ones feelings ever got hurt. However, in this situation it seems unlikely (althought not impossible) that it would ever turn into anything serious.

Just look at the Demi Moore/Justin Kutcher(hope I spelled it right) relationship. She is like 40 something and he is in his 20's and they seem to have a great relationship-so far. Man do I envy that guy!

I don't know much, nor do it care much, about their situation, but it seems like that relationship is all for the wrong reasons. I saw an interview with him once where he said something like, "I used to watch her movies when I was a kid and now I can't believe I'm banging her."

 

[Davey]

Not all men in their early 20s are in it purely for sex. I personally have had experiences where I have turned down sex, from age 19-24, now these last three years I look back and think (baka!) .

But seriously, men around that age really are controlled a lot by hormones, but it depends on the individual again. If it was really as bad with men as it was with animals, dance clubs would look like something more akin to battlefields. Although maybe they are battlefields, just a different sort.....

well im 20, and im not in it for the sex, i really love sex, KInky sex, hard sex, soft sex, oily sex, blinded sex, etc etc....... but i havnt had sex for 7 months, because we have a distance relation, so in 1 year time i just had sex 2.5 week.. LOL

so im not in it for the sex. im in it for the love!!!!!

 

[Duo]

For all of you in there with an older girl, i reccomend the song Love you down by Houston, this can be ur jam

actuallly i wouldnt mind have a relationship with an older woman, as long as are compatible on many levels, plus i think i'd be kind of coolish

 

[jieshi]

actuallly i wouldnt mind have a relationship with an older woman, as long as are compatible on many levels, plus i think i'd be kind of coolish

This is actually true. Alot of guys will tell their friends and there friends will go "OMG I love you man you are my idol you have the key to any womans heart, tell me how you do it etc etc" so it is also an ego boost thing for alot of guys