Need some advice

[Psi-dood]

I am having a long distance relationship with my girlfriend right now and everything is going pretty well thusfar.. we had our ups and downs but... we are doing awesome so far She is leaving japan to live here with me in San Diego after two months. Thing is.. she is coming all by herself and she doesnt know anyone but me... Anyone ever been in a similar situation? Any advice would be nice yeap!


thanks everyone!

This is my first time to post in this forum.. I'v been reading here for a while but now its time to join the fray

nice to meet you all!

 

[TimF]

Hey it is nice to have you in the forum. Maybe you could introduce her to some of your other friends preferibally ones that are of the female gender. I am not sure i dont have much experience with this maybe someone else can help you better than i can.

 

[Grandpa Frank]

It Might Be Nice If....

she can find some other Japanese people to talk to? Maybe there are some Japanese restaurants in your area; usually 1 or 2 people who work there are Japanese. Might find some exchange students in nearby colleges. There might be a Japan America Society branch near you. Maybe local law enforcement has a list of translators they use; might know some Japanese in the area. Probably a lot will depend on how good her English skills are as to how she settles in. Maybe find some Japanese TV & radio shows in your area she can use to fight off home-sickness.
I sure hope everything works out for your happiness!!

Frank

 

[Emoni]

Frank's idea is extremely good. There is a fairly large Asian American population in California, if you can find a restraunt or a few people that she would feel comfertable around then this would probably help a great deal.

Just treat her nice, think of her first and be yourself. I doubt anyone could ask for anything more.

Sounds like you're a very lucky guy, I'm sure everything will go well.

 

[Psi-dood]

Thanks a million guys/gals! ^_^

Wow thank you for the replies you guys are awesome Unfortuantely I dont have many japanese friends here... all my japanese friends are.. in japan But no worries! There are TONS of japanese restuarants and lots of japanese people living here in San Diego. There is a japanese marketplace that I buy all my groceries at and lots of similar places. Also my family is very friendly and they are all excited to meet her and make her feel at home, so she will definetly feel loved by everyone I know. Ohya I have a HUGE family and everyone in it is soooo awwwessooome. She will love it :haihai: My litte cousins are especially excited to meet her yeap! Her english is so so.. so she may find it hard to communicate though, and I dont want her to feel like she is trapped here in a strange land soo... I will take everyones advice to heart

When she gets here I will try my best to make her feel at home, and take her to the places where she feels at home. Come to think of it.. I know an international youth group of mostly young to mid 20's japanese people, I can go back there again Maybe I can order the japanese channel on cable for her to.. hrmmm!

Yeap my girlfriend is taking a HUGE chance by her moving here with me, but we are so excited! We just got to the point where we cant stand being so far away from each other anymore She is so awesome... there isnt anything I wouldnt do for her... and she would always do the same for me Buuut yeap sorry to bore you with my babbling, thanks everyone!

I still dont know how I ended up with such an awesome girlfriend as she, but.. I definetly consider myself a very lucky guy for sure


Psi-dood
:box: :box: :box:

 

[Emoni]

Let us know how it turns out and if you have anymore questions that we might be able to help with!

 

[Psi-dood]

Yeap will do! Thanks everyone for the responses

ps: Those marshmallow face thingies are kinda addicting!

psi-dood
:box: :win: :box:

 

[Mike Cash]

I presume that you two have arranged for the type of US visa appropriate for whatever length/type of stay you have in mind.

 

[Psi-dood]

At the moment we are still trying to find a job for her here... doh I know it might be kind of hard to find but... she has a full college education and multiple secretarial certifications, and some other things. It is hard to find a job in a foreign country when you are not in the country. So she will keep hunting for jobs while she is in japan, and if still no luck, when she is here she will keep applying in person while in the states for the entire duration of her stay until her visa expires. The chances are much higher if you can meet people face to face rather than communicate overseas. There is a huge japanese community where I live, with job postings and whatnot for bilinguals so yeap.... we can only hope and try. No worries, we gotta try

Buut yeap, please help, any advice regarding this would be awesome to!

 

[shotime77780]

i give my best wishes to you and your girlfriend i hope she likes San Diego

 

[ragedaddy]

Yeah psi-dood,

I can totally relate to what you are talking about. I am in a similiar situation myself, my wife came over from Japan about 4 months ago, and she too was in need of some Japanese or Korean connections/companionship (since her nationality is Korean). Her English was at a beginner level, so it was difficult for her to interact with people in English. Unfortunately, in MN the Japanese population here is pretty minute, but they do have a small Korean population. We actually found a Korean-Catholic Church, and she has met many people there. Also, I have some Japanese friends that are living where I am, so that kinda helps (even though we don't hang out that much). My wife is also enrolled in English Classes, so she was able to make some friends there.

Yeah, I agree with taking her to Japanese restaurants, because I think that many Japanese/Koreans have the hardest struggle adapting to the Western diet. I would reccomend getting a rice cooker, because that really comes in handy. In CA, I know they have many Japanese stores, so you will be able to get what you need to cook up some meals. Another good thing to fight away home sickness is investing in some phone cards, because it allows them to still get a sense of home by talking to their loved ones and friends. I think that also you should be able to order the Japanese TV Channel NHK (even though it's not the greatest channel ever) here in the U.S. Since there is a large Japanese population in CA, there might even be a bigger selection of TV channels. Also, there should be groups/clubs for Japanese people to join and do activites together, so you might want to check into that.

Have her come out with your friends and you, because although Japanese friends are good for her to have, being able to have many opportunities to interact with Americans will help her English proficiency I think. Anyways, best of luck to you, and don't worry, it will all work out in the end!!!!!

 

[Emoni]

Those are some pretty good ideas Rage...

 

[Psi-dood]

Ohno! I just got a job offer in Seattle washington and I am thinking of taking it. The catch is.. I dont know anyone there except one co-worker. So if we decide to move there, we both wont know anyone there. This totally sounds great as we are both starting a new life together from scratch.. only the two of us.. how exciting, scary, and daring all in one!


psidood

 

[misa.j]

Hi Psi-dood,
I am very happy for you and your girlfriend!

I have gone through a very similar situation about 5 years ago. I met my husband in the U.S., kept a long distance relationship for 3 months after I went back to Japan, lived in Japan w/ him for 10 months, and decided to move to the U.S. with a fiance visa(K-1).
Department of Homeland Security(former INS) has given us a lot of paper work and the fee for each application cost a lot, too, though I would strongly recommend two of you to look carefully into her visa status and what needs to be done for her to stay in the country, especially if she is trying to get a job. I assume you have visited this site, but I will attach it for your reference.
Home

As of her not knowing anybody else besides you, she might become shy to people she meets for the first time(in my opinion), but I am sure that she is very excited to make new friends, so take her wherever you go and introduce her to people with a consideration of not overwhelming her.
I can tell from your posts that you care about her very much. Just be honest and communicate with her about everything, even about things that seem unimportant to you because she does need you to listen to her.
You can tell her about this forum which can be very fun for her.

Conglaturatios and good luck to both of you!!

 

[Emoni]

I just visited Seatle a bit ago, she might actually enjoy it more who knows? I remember in the airport, the announcements on the shuttle train were in English AND Japanese, so I know there is a strong Japanese population there!

Just becareful! You're taking some HUGE steps here, don't go too fast.