Need native Japanese Editor

Please help! Could you (=native speakers) please correct the grammar for this? Thanks.

オスカーは像町にいる像で他の動物に会いたいらしいです。ある 日、島へ出帆します。その島で奇麗な女の像に会います 。それに新しい友達にたくさん会って、いつもその島に 止めるにします。

Hello foreevermore. Welsome to the forum.

We would be able to help you better if you could post what you want this to say in English.

I volunteered to translate Japanese into English (English being my native language) and got randomly assigned translating English into Japanese (not my strong point) by a computer.

I don't think I am allowed to reproduce the original.

part of the first sentence is "elephant in an elephant town who wants to meet..."

part of the last sentence is "makes lots of new friends/decides to stay"

does that help?

Without the original text, it is not easy to guess what exactly these sentences are meant to say, and the translation based on only the vague idea and wild guess tend to lack in accuracy...

Would such translation serve your purpose??

I don't have permission to give the English. I also have to *translate* it on my own. It is for charity and a good purpose. I realize that it has flaws, which is why I am asking for help. Please don't insult it just for sake of insulting it. One of the most discouraging you can say to someone who wants to improve is that they should just give up and tell you the English so you can do it for them. At least help me identify exactly which parts are grammatically unclear. I know that the last sentence does not make much sentence. I realize the content is a bit odd.
I'll try to word it more simply and go through it piece by piece.
像がいます。
町があります。町に住んでいる人は人間じゃありません 。像です。像は町に住んでいます。
像の名前はオスカーです。
So,
オスカーは像です。
像が住んでいる町＝像町。(would 像の町 be more clear?)
オスカーは像町にいます。
Therefore
オスカーは像町にいる像です。(1. Is this sentence grammatically wrong? I realize that it sounds a little repetitive, but that's what I have to work from.)
Then です ―> で
オスカーは像町にいる像で、...
This a simplification of the rest. I'll work on the rest later if I don't decide to give up on the whole thing.
オスカー：動物に会いたい！
像は船で島へ行きます。
島でオスカーが女の像に会います。
島で動物に会います。友達になります。多いです。
像：全然帰りません！

foreevermore said:

I don't have permission to give the English. I also have to *translate* it on my own. It is for charity and a good purpose. I realize that it has flaws, which is why I am asking for help. Please don't insult it just for sake of insulting it. One of the most discouraging you can say to someone who wants to improve is that they should just give up and tell you the English so you can do it for them. At least help me identify exactly which parts are grammatically unclear. I know that the last sentence does not make much sentence. I realize the content is a bit odd.
I'll try to word it more simply and go through it piece by piece.
像がいます。
町があります。町に住んでいる人は人間じゃありません。像です。像は町に住んでいます。
像の名前はオスカーです。
So,
オスカーは像です。
像が住んでいる町＝像町。(would 像の町 be more clear?)
オスカーは像町にいます。
Therefore
オスカーは像町にいる像です。(1. Is this sentence grammatically wrong? I realize that it sounds a little repetitive, but that's what I have to work from.)
Then です ―> で
オスカーは像町にいる像で、...
This a simplification of the rest. I'll work on the rest later if I don't decide to give up on the whole thing.
オスカー：動物に会いたい！
像は船で島へ行きます。
島でオスカーが女の像に会います。
島で動物に会います。友達になります。多いです。
像：全然帰りません！

Click to expand...

Why would you think anyone would insult you?

Anyway, from what you have given us so far, I have come up with the following (in English).

"Oscar is an elephant who lives in Elephant town.

One day, Oscar, who'd always wanted to meet other animals, boarded a ship to Animal island.

On the island, he met and made friends with a lot of animals. He even met a pretty girl elephant!

"I love it here! I never want to go back!"

He decided to stay on the island forever."

Click to expand...

From there, I went on to translate the English text into Japanese and got the following.

オスカーは象の町に住んでいる象です。

他の動物に合いたいといつも思っていたオスカーはある日、アニマル島へ行く船に乗り込みました。

島に着いたオスカーはそこでたくさんの動物と出会って友達になりました。 可愛い女の子の象とも知り合いました。

「この島が気に入ったぞ～！もう町には帰りたくない！」

オスカーはずっと島に住む事にしました。

Click to expand...

As undrentide said, it is hard to do this without not knowing exactly what you have in mind.

If I want to use ーたい form for third person (ーたがる）
Is, オスカーは他の動物に会いたがります or オスカーは他の動物に会いたいらしいですan understandable sentence?

2. Also, I need to have 像の町に住んでいる and 他の動物に会いたがる both modifying 像。

像の町に住んでいる像です and 他の動物に会いたがる像です combined in the same sentence.

Now, if combine them by using -て form:
像の町に住んでいて他の動物に会いたがる像です。
Is it understood that (像の町に住んでいる）is referring to 像？
Or would you not use ーて form and just separate them by a comma:
像の町に住んでいる、他の動物に会いたがる像です。

Which is more clear?

it is fine to link clauses with the て form like that; the ending of the sentence is what really dictates the direction/meaning/subject of the sentence. However, ～たがる kind of sounds like the subject wants to do something that probably isn't plausible.

Is there a particular reason you are restricted in which structures you must use here?

象, not 像, as Ashikaga has shown in his example. Be careful with the IME!

会いたがる could be replaced with 会いたいと思う, perhaps? I think you could make your life much easier by breaking up what is one sentence in English into a couple in Japanese, though.

Or what about side-stepping 住んでいる? 他の動物に会いたい象町の象

(disclaimer: native language = English).

Nekojita, thank you SO much for pointing out the character! It is amazing how easy it is to overlook it when staring at the computer screen.
1. CONCERN: ーて form joining modifying clauses.
What concerns me about
象の町に住んでいて他の動物に会いたがる象です。
Is that, to my understanding, this would translate as
independent clause [象の町に住んでいる] + て + independent clause [(modifying clause-動物に会いたがる) + 象 + です。]
Instead of
[modifying clause(象の町に住んでいる）+ modifying clause (他の動物に会いたがる)]象＋です。
Suggestions?
2. 他の動物に会いたいと思う象 vs. 他の動物に会いたがる象
a. First of all, I was under the impression that you couldn't directly say と思う for third person, since you can't actually know another person's thoughts, and instead had to say something like "他の動物に会いたいと思うと言っている"
b. If "...と思う象" can be said, I worry about the change in connotation. I realize that it is very common for Japanese people to add と思う and と言っている and things like that to make sentences less direct, but I'm worried that it might soften the "want" part of it a little bit too much. In fact, '会いたい' alone is a little weaker than I would like it to be. This is actually being worked off of a translation of a translation of a translation. From what I can understand of the original (basically me guessing what it means in Croatian from what I know of Russian and trying to combine that with the English I was given), this elephant wants new friends to the point of being obsessed and not being able to think about anything else. So, I would like to avoid distancers and extra phrases as much as possible here. Is there anything stronger than 思う that I could use? Native speakers, please chime in....

Just one thing.
I think you need to understand the difference between normal conversations and writing styles in novels. The writer can know all the characters' thoughts.