need help with this sentence...

[Nesi_Saiyuki]

Is this the correct way of saying: "Can you become the sun for someone?"
あなたはだれかに太陽になれるのか?

hehe (trying to be poetical) Help will be greatly appreciated!! Thanks in advance!

 

[NANGI]

Nesi_Saiyuki-san!

Is this the correct way of saying: "Can you become the sun for someone?"
あなたはだれかに太陽になれるのか?

「あなたは、誰(だれ)かの太陽になれますか？」 is good!

「あなたは、誰かのための太陽となることが出来ますか？」 is more polite expression.

NANGI

 

[Nesi_Saiyuki]

a, so it's だれかの and not に. I'll take note of that. Can I still use 「なれるのか」 instead of 「なれますか」? I am aiming for the impolite form instead of the polite form since I am depicting that kind of character.

Thanks so much for your help, Nangi-san!!

 

[Ashikaga]

I am aiming for the impolite form instead of the polite form since I am depicting that kind of character.

Is this line spoken by a character from a manga or something? If you could provide us with the genders/ages, etc. of the characters in this scene, maybe we'd be able to come up with an appropriate phrasing of it.

For example :
A junior high-school teacher ( let us say his name is Kinpachi Sakamoto ) in his 50s addressing a shy, troubled male student of his who has just found out that the object of his affection is in love with his best friend. He is now on the roof of the school building threatening to jump. He tells Kinpachi he will prove his love for her by ending his life. Kinpachi starts quietly... "Loving someone is like giving someone light and warmth.... and a promise of always being there even when they cannot see you....ﾂ"ﾂ After letting those words sink in for a few seconds, he asks the boy....お前は誰かの太陽になれるか？！

 

[Nesi_Saiyuki]

Oh my gulay!!! That was... AWESOME! O_O *bows* すごいです! Actually, I got that from Saiyuki Gaiden by Minekura Kazuya-sama. I wanted to make a poem out of those words (in Japanese, of course) but couldn't find a copy of the manga with the original Japanese characters. ^_^ That was awesome... thanks so much!!

 

[anindya]

Hello! This is Anindya from India. I am a student of Japaneses language & studying Japanese for about 2 Years. yet the Kanjis are really very very difficult for me. I could not manage to memorize them. :?It's a total mystery for me and really depressing. Although I managed to pass the JLPT 3 kyuu last year, I could not read Japanese Text without consulting a dictionary.
Could anyone show me the way
Thank you in advance!!