- 5 Feb 2005
- 7,694
- 627
Long Distance Relationships
I was wondering what you people think about Long Distance Relationships ( Let's short it to ldr).
- Have you ever been into a ldr?
- What are the differences of a non-distance relation, and a ldr.
- And if you would meet someone you really like, would you give the relation a change when you know that you won't be able to see each other for weeks, months, maybe years?
- Any tips for people who having a relation like this?
I will tell you people a little bit more about the relation that I am having now. I hope that it gives people a happy feeling, maybe get power from it, and get a better understanding of what a ldr means.
In 2004 I was travelling alone in Australia, because I wanted to get to know myself better (things like, who am I, what do I want to do with my life, etc). I stayed in Western Australia for around 3 months, before I went to east coast, Sydney. I travelled by train, the Indian Pacific, from Perth to Sydney, what took 64 hours. On the last night I met a girl named Mayuko, she was studying in Perth for 7 months and wanted to enjoy herself the other 5 months on the east coast. We played some card games, talked about our time in Perth, and already after 5minutes she called me Baka. When we finally arrived in Sydney we decided to meet each other again, and she would teach me how to make sushi.
I never had any intention to get a serious relationship in Australia (and also I was still half dating another j-girl), but we started seeing each other almost daily (that much that my dad didn't had that much fun on his trip to see me, because I was with Mayuko), and I even slept secretly in her host-kinda-familie-house. Because secretes can't last forever, we got kicked out of the house on New years day ( What a great day it was to be kicked out with all hostels being FULL FULL FULL FULL FULL FULL, and yes the other one was FULL too.), so after sleeping in a motel for a couple of nights we found a share house, were we lived for 3 months.
I was supposed to go home in March, but we didn't wanted to part yet, so I decided to stay until the end, which was until May 16th. We were out of money, well I was, so we went to this place called Bundaberg to work a little bit.
To make a this part of the story short, we lived/travelled/worked together in Australia for 5 months, and the time was come to go home again; me to Holland, and she to Japan. After being together for 5months like this, you don't say: "Well darling, I love you but the distance is to far so bye bye". We have had many talks about it in that last months, so we decided to give it a try and do it. We said goodbye at the airport (This was without a doubt one of the most saddest things ever in my life, going true customs, and watching her cry behind the glass, putting my hand on hers, bla bla bla, even think about it makes me sad actually), knowing we wouldn't see each other for at least 7-8 months.
The first months of being home were hard, because I needed a job, needed to get back to normal life again, and also was without my girl. We called each other almost everyday, emailed each other, and saw each other on the webcam. (The webcam is for sure one of the best invitations ever! Like I said before, we wanted to give the ldr a try, so we didn't knew for sure if we would see each other again, and if we could do this, this made me sometimes very insecure, and made me feel really lonely. Finally after 7,5 month she came to Holland, it felt strange in the beginning, because we didn't saw each other for such a long time, but after already a couple of hours, it felt like she was always next to me.
From that moment we were sure that our relation was really serious and to take it to the next level, so I proposed her in Paris ( champs elysee, New years night, with firework in front of us, I got on my knees and asked her will you marry me.), and of course she said: yes yes yes.
She left after 3 weeks, and were separated for another 8 months. This time it was easier in some way than before because we knew what to expect, and I didn't felt insecure anymore. We grow more to each other almost every day/week. And from being in love, we started to really love each other.
This last summer I went to Japan for a month, and the first evening I asked her dad if I could marry his daughter. We got married in the city hall, and went ,just the two of us, to Mt Rokko for a great dinner, with a night view over Kobe/Osaka.
Now it's just 3 weeks and she will come to Holland again, and than 6-8 months later I will go to Japan to finally be together.
I never had any intention to get a serious relationship in Australia (and also I was still half dating another j-girl), but we started seeing each other almost daily (that much that my dad didn't had that much fun on his trip to see me, because I was with Mayuko), and I even slept secretly in her host-kinda-familie-house. Because secretes can't last forever, we got kicked out of the house on New years day ( What a great day it was to be kicked out with all hostels being FULL FULL FULL FULL FULL FULL, and yes the other one was FULL too.), so after sleeping in a motel for a couple of nights we found a share house, were we lived for 3 months.
I was supposed to go home in March, but we didn't wanted to part yet, so I decided to stay until the end, which was until May 16th. We were out of money, well I was, so we went to this place called Bundaberg to work a little bit.
To make a this part of the story short, we lived/travelled/worked together in Australia for 5 months, and the time was come to go home again; me to Holland, and she to Japan. After being together for 5months like this, you don't say: "Well darling, I love you but the distance is to far so bye bye". We have had many talks about it in that last months, so we decided to give it a try and do it. We said goodbye at the airport (This was without a doubt one of the most saddest things ever in my life, going true customs, and watching her cry behind the glass, putting my hand on hers, bla bla bla, even think about it makes me sad actually), knowing we wouldn't see each other for at least 7-8 months.
The first months of being home were hard, because I needed a job, needed to get back to normal life again, and also was without my girl. We called each other almost everyday, emailed each other, and saw each other on the webcam. (The webcam is for sure one of the best invitations ever! Like I said before, we wanted to give the ldr a try, so we didn't knew for sure if we would see each other again, and if we could do this, this made me sometimes very insecure, and made me feel really lonely. Finally after 7,5 month she came to Holland, it felt strange in the beginning, because we didn't saw each other for such a long time, but after already a couple of hours, it felt like she was always next to me.
From that moment we were sure that our relation was really serious and to take it to the next level, so I proposed her in Paris ( champs elysee, New years night, with firework in front of us, I got on my knees and asked her will you marry me.), and of course she said: yes yes yes.
She left after 3 weeks, and were separated for another 8 months. This time it was easier in some way than before because we knew what to expect, and I didn't felt insecure anymore. We grow more to each other almost every day/week. And from being in love, we started to really love each other.
This last summer I went to Japan for a month, and the first evening I asked her dad if I could marry his daughter. We got married in the city hall, and went ,just the two of us, to Mt Rokko for a great dinner, with a night view over Kobe/Osaka.
Now it's just 3 weeks and she will come to Holland again, and than 6-8 months later I will go to Japan to finally be together.
This was, in short, what my relation is with her. Having a Ldr is a really difficult thing, some of the most important things are:
Trust each other: You don't live together, you can not see what the other is doing, so you should be able to trust each other more than 100%, I think more than normal relations.
make a lot of effort: In all relations you need to make effort in a different way, but with ldr, there should be one to leave his/her country, working together on the future. Giving up things you love.
make plans together: because in this way you have something to look forward to, knowing why you do this. I know some people who had a Ldr, but because of no near future plans it didn't worked out good.
Even we didn't lived together this last 1.5 year, I think I got to know my wife very good, because you need to talk a lot more about feelings, etc than in a normal relation were you can lay next to each other and say nothing sometimes. Damn I desire for that.
A Long distance relation can work, a lot of people have done it, doing it, and I just need half a year. It is not the easiest thing in life, but why should life be easy?
Thank you Mayuko for still calling me Baka, I love you, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life, Aishiteru yo.
Looking forward to read what your experience and/or opinions are about this. Sorry if I made this thread a bit to personal, and to long(I never wrote this much on here).
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I really mean that!
