Hello Berserk,
We get these questions from time to time. "My goal is only XYZ, do I really need to learn ABC". People are intimidated by grammar or kanji, and they think it will be OK to bypass all of that in Japanese as long as they only limit their end goal to one narrow, specific thing. To me its like saying, "If my destination is straight in front of me, I don't need to learn how to use the steering wheel (and thus, it will be quicker and easier for me to learn to drive)". Its all one, big package, and learning it as a package is really the only way to do it. So get yourself a decent study guide and dive in. Don't be afraid of the rules. You don't need to swallow the whole thing in one bite. Learning to write will reinforce your reading, which will reinforce your speaking, which helps out with the writing, etc.
1. Well, you need to know both the pronunciation as well as the meaning, right? As a beginner it is inevitable that you will have to memorize the meaning in English, but the pronunciation is equally important, and hopefully the study materials you are using provide both of these. You do need to use decent study materials, so if you don't have those you are screwed from the begininng.
2. Get a good study book and follow the course and don't fret over whether you are learning 3 kanji per day, or 30 per day. Japanese kids learn kanji all through school, starting with simple kanji (a hundred or so... I forget the exact number) in their first year of primary school, and then building up yearly until they learn 2000 or so by high school.
3. Yes, its OK.
4. Yes, its necessary to learn all the grammar rules.