Hi,
I've been seeing this Japanese girl for about 6 months now and we just moved in together last week. A few days ago she said she was going out for dinner with a friend of hers (a girl called Nao). I thought this was the same person she was inviting over to our house for dinner so I looked on Facebook and found out the only Nao she had in her friend list was a guy. This naturally raised my suspicions so I deliberately weaved this into our conversations and used the words "she" and "her" a lot and she used them too.
She went out for dinner with this guy for about 2 hours (too short for anything to happen I think) and when she came home I asked her about it and said I knew it was a guy. She burst into tears, apologised and explained that Japanese men (I'm British) don't like it when their partners have meals with other men (even if it's purely friendship). I checked her mobile and it seems she first texted the guy a couple of times back in April and it was quiet until this month when he asked her if she would like to meet for dinner.
I don't mind if she's meeting other people (even guys) if it's purely for friendship reasons and not dating, but I'm not sure why she would lie about it, is it extremely taboo in Japan? She hasn't even been in the UK a year yet and I think she's having trouble finding friends since her English isn't very good so it could just be that.
About a year ago I ended a 7 year relationship with a girl (we had a shared house/mortgage and everything) and I ended it with her because she slept with someone else. I really cannot go through that again so am I best just ending this now? I really don't want to, I really like her and I want to forgive her lying to me but I'm finding it very difficult given my past experience. I've never dated a Japanese girl before and I don't know the differences so am I probably setting myself up for a big disappointment if I continue or is she probably genuinely remorseful?
Thanks,
John
I've been seeing this Japanese girl for about 6 months now and we just moved in together last week. A few days ago she said she was going out for dinner with a friend of hers (a girl called Nao). I thought this was the same person she was inviting over to our house for dinner so I looked on Facebook and found out the only Nao she had in her friend list was a guy. This naturally raised my suspicions so I deliberately weaved this into our conversations and used the words "she" and "her" a lot and she used them too.
She went out for dinner with this guy for about 2 hours (too short for anything to happen I think) and when she came home I asked her about it and said I knew it was a guy. She burst into tears, apologised and explained that Japanese men (I'm British) don't like it when their partners have meals with other men (even if it's purely friendship). I checked her mobile and it seems she first texted the guy a couple of times back in April and it was quiet until this month when he asked her if she would like to meet for dinner.
I don't mind if she's meeting other people (even guys) if it's purely for friendship reasons and not dating, but I'm not sure why she would lie about it, is it extremely taboo in Japan? She hasn't even been in the UK a year yet and I think she's having trouble finding friends since her English isn't very good so it could just be that.
About a year ago I ended a 7 year relationship with a girl (we had a shared house/mortgage and everything) and I ended it with her because she slept with someone else. I really cannot go through that again so am I best just ending this now? I really don't want to, I really like her and I want to forgive her lying to me but I'm finding it very difficult given my past experience. I've never dated a Japanese girl before and I don't know the differences so am I probably setting myself up for a big disappointment if I continue or is she probably genuinely remorseful?
Thanks,
John