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I am exposing my situation with a Japanese girl to get suggestions and probably guidance from you guys.

Nissan

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I met a Japanese girl at a startup event and had a nice chat with her, she was presenting her company's internal project. Later that day, I messaged her in somewhat of this line. We had a nice chat today, would you wanna go out for a coffee chat, exchanging and brainstorming ideas? So we went out, we had a very nice chat. In this chat, I started learning about her, she is well-educated, went to Todai, and has a good job (too much business travel domestically though). I shared some of the ideas I want to pursue as an entrepreneur (currently I am also working in a Japanese company). She said she would help me if I needed her help in doing surveys and sales. I said yes. Then we again went out for lunch. Yesterday, we also bumped into each other at the same event we met for the first time. We talked about the project but we also talked about other things like hobbies, hometown, and family, basically all normal conversation when we met. In these meetings, she has completely charmed me all over, the things she says, she is too supportive, yesterday she also started sharing her business trip-related stuff. She even shared her phone number just randomly. I have never asked for Line, Instagram, or any social media except Linkedin. I am sure she might be sharing it because she wants to help me with the project and maybe wanna be my cofounder or whatnot. My problem is I set myself completely in a trap where I am slowly developing feelings for her, but I don't want to convey this to her fearing I might even lose the support she is providing me now and also friendship (never happened to me before but I get a sense of relief when I see her smiling).

Now, I am extremely disappointed that I started this story with a stupid brainstorming idea. I never thought I would be falling like this for her. This thing did not even cross my mind then. We are again going for lunch 3 days later, she is coming to my part of town, Yokohama. Now, it's awkward for me to meet her under the pretext of her supporting me in the project, rather I wish I could meet her as if we were going on a date. I have been thinking about this for the whole day, I don't have any idea what I am doing or what I am supposed to do.

I have to admit I have already been vulnerable without me being aware of it. Last 2 years, I have been hyper-focused, not going out, or going to hackathons rather than night-outs or clubbing. Previously, uni days, I used to go out frequently and hang out with girls and stuff. Now, No love life nothing, only working and focusing on my side projects. I also came here during COVID-19 times, so I rarely have friends apart from those I met in clubs and bars (most uni friends left Japan).

I presented my situation here, please suggest to me how should I approach it. I wrote this because I saw a thread where everyone (especially someone named Mike) here was helping a German guy with his first-date problem. So, please I need some advice.

Physically I would consider myself below average looking, 5.10 tall skinny, also I am a brown boy, but I consider myself confident enough, that I can steer any parties of any sort. I also consider myself to have a good fashion sense (at least I am ready to meet her next time haha). This is not my first time getting close to a Japanese girl, I have dated Japanese before, but all my relationships were very brief, from 2 weeks to 1 month.

You can also ask me questions regarding this but I need this thing to be sorted out as soon as possible (at least from my head). I am in desperate need of some suggestions.
 
I would go through with the lunch and then, depending on how the conversation goes, see if she would consent to doing something date-like immediately after the lunch like taking a walk or going to get some gelato. She may be genuinely busy and have to leave for another appointment so you might not get the clarity you need. But you could still try seeing if she's interested in meeting up for another activity that's clearly not business related. For example ask if her if she would like to meet for dinner. Or go with you to the new Team Lab installation in Azabudai. Or check out the view from Shibuya Scramble Square. If she consents to meeting for something like that then it's pretty clear her interest is not just business. If she doesn't express interest in anything like that then it will be a big clue. And you could take a step back and still try to grow the professional level of friendship you have.
 
Thank you for your advice. Do I stir the conversation towards taking a walk around the end of the lunch or do you suggest just leaving it in good faith? I think she takes dinner causally, she had asked me once for dinner but I opted for lunch since I had other stuff that day. Team Lab installation in Azabudai is a cool idea probably, but it will push it to next time which might be too far. She is working on a project that she has to sell to the prefectural government, so short business trips keep her schedule busy. So, I intend to find or look for a clue when we meet 3 days later. Any suggestions there?
One sleazy thing I am planning to do is, I am taking her to a cafe where either only girls go or couples go to have lunch and point this thing out so, that she gets a hint.
 
You could check her availability before midpoint of the lunch and if she has time suggest the follow up activity. Coffee or gelato or whatever.
I don't think you should spend too much effort on manufacturing hints. See how the conversation goes. If she keeps steering it back to collaboration/business then that would be a clue. But if she doesn't seem to care about that stuff and your conversation is more casual/friendly/personal then I think you can let things progress naturally. Drop the pretense of meeting for collaboration purposes and start dating.
 
Nissan,

You need to slow down. Cool your jets. Get to know her as only a friend first, which should take a minimum of several months.

If you find yourself having trouble slowing down your rush to romance, you may need to talk to a counselor or therapist.

The Japanese have a saying, "Atsui koi wa sameyasui." "Hot love cools fast," which is exactly what is happening here.

Take the time to become her close friend before trying anything romantic — which, as I have said, will take months. The fact that you have already had several short term relationships with Japanese women makes it clear that you now need to try this new approach that i am suggesting.
 
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