4) A VISIT TO THE LESS-SECRET POLICE
OCT 11, 2000, 4PM
I drove to the neighboring town, where the local traffic safety division was headquartered, and, presenting my Juuminhyou, stated that I was a naturalized Japanese and would like my driver licence to reflect that.
The cop there looked at my licence and said, "Okay we'll put your new name and Honseki [address of Registry] on the back of the licence as an amendment."
"B-but wait. I need the front of the licence to say my Japanese Honseki. Right now it says 'America' and nothing else. It has to be very clear on the front or else I will still appear to be a foreigner."
"The amendment on the back will take care of that."
"But can't you just reissue me a licence?"
"Until this old one expires, we cannot reissue." And when would that be? More than two years from now! Darn these licence validity extensions for newly-reformed safe drivers. (
Arudou Debito/Dave Aldwinckle's Essay Page)
Me: "But listen, without this licence properly reissued, I will not have wallet-size proof that I am a Japanese, clear, present, and up front. I don't have a Gaijin Card anymore and I am not going to carry my Juuminhyou with me all the time. This is a special case, a naturalization. I need an exception made or else I'm in trouble."
"Oh come now," the cop said, "you're exaggerating. The amendment on the back will suffice. It will have the proper inkans et cetera and anyone who needs proof can just look on the back."
"I don't think you understand my position. Japanese police nowadays do stop foreign-looking people at random for Gaijin Card checks, because we are seen as a source of rising crime. And if I do not have persuasive proof that I am not a foreigner anymore, under the Gaitouhou Jouji Keitai rule I could be arrested. Seriously. Any cop having a bad donut day could just say that I forged the back and give me hell."
"Oh, we police wouldn't do that."
"That's easy for you to say. You are not in my position. So I want the appropriate ID done in the most official-looking way possible."
"Sorry. Can't do it until your current one expires."
I stood there like Tom Cruise in A FEW GOOD MEN, facing down Jack Nicholson in the courtroom, sweat on his upper lip and wondering what to do next. Then I said:
"But what if I mislaid my licence? What would happen then?"
"We would have to reissue you another one. It would take two to three weeks and cost you 3350 yen."
"Well, um, guess what," dropping my licence to the floor in the best Hollywood dramatic tradition, "I just lost my licence. Could you please reissue me another one?"
The cop smiled, asked me if I was willing to fill out the forms, pay the fee, and bring in a photo. One quick round trip home and I got the stuff in before the 5PM deadline.
Cop: "Okay, all set. Just wait a couple of weeks. We'll call you when it comes in."
"Great. Thanks very much for your understanding."
"Oh, and Sugawara-san." He handed back my old licence. "Don't forget this. You have to drive in the interim."