Here is the story

[kohlrak]

From what she told me he wont be here tell some time in Sep. If it does happen and she meets him and I still feel the same way I do now, maybe I will take her back. Im hoping she will find out and choose not to see him and she will want to try and start over. Im not going to talk to her for a few more days so she has time to sulk and cry and feel guilty. She about hated me when i said I would leave her and didnt want to be friends. Maybe the time away and with no attention she might miss me. Who knows anymore... At this point im trying to figure out if I want to see other girls or if I myself need time off to think and try to understand what happend.

That's not exactly love, but at the same time that's not exactly like she dosn't deserve it... Do you have a last name on this guy? It sounds infinitly similar to Misty. Who is conveniently bisexual. She resides in the US though, but her brother makes frequent trips to Japan to meet their father during the summer. I know Misty thinks really high of her "father"s and her real father might be no exception. Maybe she learned it from information talking about him with her brother to find out more about him. Now, it is very unlikely that the situation is even related, but it just sounds too fishy to let go.

 

[Uchite]

From what she told me he wont be here tell some time in Sep. If it does happen and she meets him and I still feel the same way I do now, maybe I will take her back. Im hoping she will find out and choose not to see him and she will want to try and start over. Im not going to talk to her for a few more days so she has time to sulk and cry and feel guilty. She about hated me when i said I would leave her and didnt want to be friends. Maybe the time away and with no attention she might miss me. Who knows anymore... At this point im trying to figure out if I want to see other girls or if I myself need time off to think and try to understand what happend.

This is nonsense Carlson! If she wants you so much and you want her so much, there should be no conversations about these other boyfriends in her life.


End of story!

 

[kohlrak]

This is nonsense Carlson! If she wants you so much and you want her so much, there should be no conversations about these other boyfriends in her life.


End of story!

Agreeed...

 

[cicatriz esp]

This is the 21st century. If you have access to her computer, install a keylogger while she is not there, get her passwords, and read her emails.

Having done this with every Japanese girlfriend i ever had, you would be surprised at the amount of cheating going on that you would never have expected. It's saved me (potentially) years of wasted time with the wrong person. It will definitely clear up any doubts.

 

[kohlrak]

It's more than japanese girls, man.... i had only 2 asian gfs... one of them was more loyal than any of my others. the other, was more unloyal than any of my others. lol That's what i hate about computers, mail, and phones... THey can always sneak about...

 

[godppgo]

This is the 21st century. If you have access to her computer, install a keylogger while she is not there, get her passwords, and read her emails.
Having done this with every Japanese girlfriend i ever had, you would be surprised at the amount of cheating going on that you would never have expected. It's saved me (potentially) years of wasted time with the wrong person. It will definitely clear up any doubts.

Somehow after reading this post I am not surprised that you ended up with girls who would cheat on you.

 

[kohlrak]

Somehow after reading this post I am not surprised that you ended up with girls who would cheat on you.

ROFLMAO

Well, i don't do that kinda crap, but only one of my gfs that i broke up with to date, can i confirm she didn't cheat on me. And she has no reson to lie, for she can't win or loose by telling me... if she cheated on me, she'd tell me to get the guilt off her back since me and her really dont' talk anymore, and i have never seen anyone with a guiltier concience than sarah. But still gotta wonder why the others cheated on me. I did nothing, except kiss their butts, so weather you kiss their butts or spy on them, might not determine weather or not some one cheats on you or not. Though, that did tickle me. lol

 

[MajideSaiaku]

Meh, aslong as you only making sure they arent cheating its still a grey area.

They have a right to privacy but you have a right to respect and faityhfulness in a relationship that you've agreed is closed.

If only they'd invent a cheat-detector which blips green when their loyal and red when their not, that'd make things nice and easy.

 

[kohlrak]

Meh, aslong as you only making sure they arent cheating its still a grey area.

Actually, some people take a big offence to the lack of trust. Sometimes it's because they can't be trusted, and sometimes it's just their personal perspective on trust.

They have a right to privacy but you have a right to respect and faityhfulness in a relationship that you've agreed is closed.

But does it cross the lines of that above?

If only they'd invent a cheat-detector which blips green when their loyal and red when their not, that'd make things nice and easy.

They'd find a way around it... lol

 

[Carlson]

well it took 2 days of me not saying anything and here is the message she sent him

hey. ive been thinking about us... and i finally decided... i told you i wanted to be with you. but maybe i shoudnt. 1. its hard for me to believe you. i heard you told her that you said you didnt need me. 2. its like emi really loves you more than i do. she calls you her future hasband. and she is moving there soon. 3. its hard for me to quit my job and go to okinawa. 4. you said you felt lonely. so, you want to marry me. i think its something wrong...
so, im not want to be with you... im so sorry that i hurted you so much. but its my final decision.
if you want to call me "play girl", i dont care. if you want to delete on your myspace, its ok. if you dont want to talk to me anymore, i understand. but just want you to know. i really have fun to talk to you. i didnt want to hurt your feeling more after we got married. i am happy if i can be your friend...
anyways, hope to hear from you soon... oyasumi...

chinatsu

and the message she sent me

lenny, im so sorry that i didnt believe you. and i treated you sooo bad. and i hurted you soo much.
after i told kris that i would be his gf, i saw pics of us on my cell... and i remembered the time we spent with... then i really missed you so much... i was stupid... and now i realize who is my baby. its you, lenny. i want to be with you again. i really do. we took purikura, we went to mt. fuji, onsen, kyoto, osaka, yokohama, and hawaii. we fight sometimes. but we spent lots of time. and you even came to see my mom at the hospital. i remember... i dont need to give you 2nd chance. cuz i already know that you really love me... and if you forgive me, i want to be your gf again... i was sooo happy to talk to you tonight...
anyways, i will talk to ya later and see you today...

chinatsu

I sent her a reply something like this

saying I forgive her because I love her. I understand and it may take time if ever for things to be like it was before. I also said i should make her beg to have me back but I wont because im a nice guy... lol

 

[ArmandV]

If only they'd invent a cheat-detector.

Cheater-meter. Just plug it in.

 

[kohlrak]

saying I forgive her because I love her. I understand and it may take time if ever for things to be like it was before.

aye...

I also said i should make her beg to have me back but I wont because im a nice guy... lol

I'd becareful in saying that. lol

 

[ArmandV]

I understand and it may take time if ever for things to be like it was before.

Actually, you don't want things like before. You both should try to make things better than before. One reason you had these problems was that things weren't quite right. Maybe now you will understand each other better.

 

[Carlson]

Actually, you don't want things like before. You both should try to make things better than before. One reason you had these problems was that things weren't quite right. Maybe now you will understand each other better.

you know. your right. i ment i want to change things before they started going wrong. I know what I did wrong and if i can change them things will be better.

 

[RockLee]

Women ! Hope it works out well, but don't hope too much. Time will tell..(like in Utada Hikaru's song ;-))

 

[leonmarino]

Wow! so maybe this is a happy ending after all!? Never saw that one coming to be honest..

 

[Pachipro]

I know what I did wrong and if i can change them things will be better.

From what you've written and explained I cannot see ANYTHING that you did wrong. If you ask me it was she who did you wrong. Why are you blaming yourself here? Did I miss something?

Anyway, good luck in patching things up.

 

[Carlson]

From what you've written and explained I cannot see ANYTHING that you did wrong. If you ask me it was she who did you wrong. Why are you blaming yourself here? Did I miss something?

Anyway, good luck in patching things up.

I feel i drove her away. I took her for granit and out of not knowing what I was doing wrong she felt unloved is what I feel that happend. If i gave her everything she needed she wouldnt want to leave. There is still lots to be learned and she needs to learn when things get hard its not the time to run. Whats going to happen if we got married and i deploy for 6 months? It will take time to build the trust back and I hope someday it will be again. I want to have fun for now but id like to have fun with someone who I love and could eventualy start a family with.

I find it very funny watching my mindset go from what I started to what is now in such a short time.

 

[kohlrak]

I feel i drove her away. I took her for granit and out of not knowing what I was doing wrong she felt unloved is what I feel that happend. If i gave her everything she needed she wouldnt want to leave. There is still lots to be learned and she needs to learn when things get hard its not the time to run. Whats going to happen if we got married and i deploy for 6 months? It will take time to build the trust back and I hope someday it will be again. I want to have fun for now but id like to have fun with someone who I love and could eventualy start a family with.

There have been cases as i felt i drove my first GF away... my last GF i'm sure i drove away... But only my first gf was lack of attention (naturally comes with first dates, and she knows that so i think there was another reson) but my last one i was too attentive. lol You never can find that medium... lol You're right, she'll have to learn that you don't run when things get tough. She needs to realize that she needs to be a little more open... If she thinks you're not spending enough time wiht her, she needs to tell you that, not start looking at other guys. I'd be so ticked off if Amber pulled that on me, but at the same time i'd be nice about it cause i'm so attatched to her, but personally, i'd let her go for that.... I'm not a very trusting person about anything, girls, books, sources, nothing. Cause i plan on settling someday, also. Good luck, man.

 

[cursore]

I feel i drove her away. I took her for granit and out of not knowing what I was doing wrong she felt unloved is what I feel that happend. If i gave her everything she needed she wouldnt want to leave. There is still lots to be learned and she needs to learn when things get hard its not the time to run. Whats going to happen if we got married and i deploy for 6 months? It will take time to build the trust back and I hope someday it will be again. I want to have fun for now but id like to have fun with someone who I love and could eventualy start a family with.
I find it very funny watching my mindset go from what I started to what is now in such a short time.

Sure thing.. now go in the biggest square of Tokyo with a huge speaker, and naked chest, start beating your chest really hard and shout the following: ﾂ"mea culpa, mea culpa mea maxima culpaﾂ" (From Latin: my fault my fault my biggest fault).

 

[kohlrak]

dude, i don't know weather to take that as a joke or what... lol

 

[leonmarino]

Does it matter whose fault it is? I wouldn't blame myself in any case.

 

[RockLee]

She should love you even if you don't give her what she wants Carlson, true love isn't based on gifts.

 

[ArmandV]

Does it matter whose fault it is? I wouldn't blame myself in any case.

Yes, especially in this case.

 

[MajideSaiaku]

She should love you even if you don't give her what she wants Carlson, true love isn't based on gifts.

Thats true, I can say that I have been anything but the perfect boyfriend and my girlfriend still sticks by me, that is goddamn love right there, she isnt a clingy push-over, but even after all the fights, she's still there, looking at me with love, thats something really special.

Anyway Carl, you arent at fault here and stay cool and keep ontop of things, remember that just because she has chosen you doesnt automatically make everything perfect, though I am really happy for you that she has made a right decision for a change.

Just work it out, dont think of marriage just yet, just take one step at a time and remember to be careful and stay safe, you both want to make it work and thats excellent, but if thats really true, take your time, and understand things wont be good over-night.

Also I agree that you dont want it as it was before, you want a reborn relationship, a new start, THIS TIME it has to be right, and allowing for fights and bad times, that its handled in a way that the trust is still there and nobody isnt running to someone else.

Keep us updated Carl and glad to hear things are looknig up.