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The Story of Jref Members

the lesser-spotted goat wesel became extinct...it was fine creature but its main problem was
 
What is this freaking story about anyway??

haha im having lots of fun reading the post on this thread, thanks you guys.. well for the people who dont want to read the whole story please contineu with the post before this post....

for the people who want to know the story until now * i have beent copying, and pasting for the last hour.. my fingers hurt!!!!!* here it is:​


On a Beautiful Saturday..... I woke up suddenly and rushed to the bathroom ;) ,and took a pee. I looked around and realized today is Saturday. No work today! I wrestled to zip up my fly with my fuzzy vision and (but) the quick, numb, surreal closure was followed by an awakening sense of my thingy getting caught in the zipper! I immediately let out a yell that
woke the chicken that was asleep in the pervert next store's bed the pervert next store's bed
and my wife's cousins, all with 'misquous tastes.

I began to wonder on why had I married her in the first place Sadly, I turned around, surprised to see her sweet soft face smiling as she freed my moongose from that insidious bear trap.
Letting out a stupid sigh, I muttered, "But Honey, I thought you were with George at at his "Grind on Me" end of year kindergarden dance with the other members of the PTA.
And she gave me the most tentualizing look ever, glimmering from her deep green almond shaped eyes. So I took her into our pool room and grabbed the balls and the alarm-clock gone mad, informing `tis monday "Damn," I thought "we mighta got a game in, but.." draws a blank with nothing clever coming to mind whispered to oneself,

"As sea squirts eat their brains once settled, I turned off that damn Discovery channel. and turned on cartoon network, where SpongeBob SquarePants sang a gay, merry tune and smacked Patrick on the arse. ツ"My God. Cartoon violence" and switched to the XXX channel, to see Old Vin Diesel with his own channel? OMG what is his "Video camera" Sharp. But at that moment - out of the window - I saw him naked, mowing his lawn And then he felt infront of the neighbour's rabid scrotum eating pit bull. that hadn't been fed in a week, famished for scrotum, o dear !

So I and the dog got on a boat So the poor hubbie's dead and dumped to the bull's pen
Not even a proper funeral and obit ? Cause he died a shameful death? Unworthy of a man? BUT - seven days later he is resurrected as Sorry, that was the neighor that died in the bull's pen, naked, grass uncut, and without... But now resurrected as the bull's cow.

The next day... frank and I had some asocena (stewed canine)!!! To the dining hide-out of that asocena, J-refians gathered like a swarm of flies around a pervert in a chemical toilet soon they ran out of dogmeat and switched to chocolate; food of the gods, nectar of all that is holy, it is beyond measure of pleasure Willy Wonka (chocolate factory owner) was there and said "Bow down before me and worship the chocolate." But the dog's on the boat with me. That dog meat you ate was actually his pet skunk the neighbour's had skinned to make a hat, leaving a nude skunk to flash at passing squirrels and chipmunks who made the skunk a sex-symbol worshipped by The wild fandangos that are ??
 
Meanwhile in a hospital in Paris a woman was Shouting with a gun in her hand where is that S.O.B. I'm going to Turn on the Discovery Channel if you get me BUT, the Discovery Channel is pre-empted by animal planet, but suddenly President Bush comes on to announce Condolesa Rice is lying! ツ"I never had sex with that woman !...did I ? ツ"

All of a sudden a HUGE long-dark-haired shark broke out of the TV screen in the spirit of Ringgu, all dressed in Polar bear fur! topped off with a elegant trilby chased by Frank (wearing a lascivious smile - and little else!) Stunned by franks appearance, the shark magically grew stubby little legs and promptly dropped dead, 'cause it was out of water. Just then a large herd of cats smelled the dead shark and the greenpeace comes on the scene
being shadowed by the French navy who couldnt speak english, and acted like Dildo's!!

They launched a rocket at GP but for some silly reason it was pointed the wrong way! so it missed GP and hit A sewerage plant which resulted in the biggest downpour of crap you've heard since "W" delivered his inaugeration speech!

So now with the entire nation covered in poo particles I finally decided to discount all this surreal activity; and resume my search ... for the elusive ... Norwegian Dwarf ! Last we saw of him, he was antagonising the garden gnomes by holding them down and cutting their military budget, and their foreskins that went into the the special stew for the JREF party at Kirei na me's massive birthday bash, where Frank got So drunk he kicked over a house and chased all the women with loooooong black hair and suddenly he noticed kirei na me who was wearing a looooong black wig. Frank then tackled kirei to the ground, beginning to smother her with kisses, when suddenly her wig fell off Frank looked at her in astonishment and said,"Ahh, who cares", and began to continue smothering her with kisses.

Meanwhile The long-black-haired wig caught sight of of the dish and the spoon subsequently the threesome eloped to the rowboat of the owl & the pussycat , rowing to the "island" or "coastland" called Atlantis, where the 9 sage-kings fought, lusting over Brad Pitts pits and Oliver Hardys little buddy, Stan Laurel, who always seemed to dribble over his cornflakes in the morning. Maybe he needed some botox shots in his some marihuana which Dutch baka could send from Amsterdam members only joint which to exercise the largest ever smoke cloud resulting in "W" insisting on writing his own (second) inauguration address quite

Obviously stoned out of his mind really made him see E.T saying : E.T. PHONE HOMEEEEEEEEEE BUT, the operator told ET: Wrong Number you freak. put him through to the Alien queen instead turns out this queen is ugly... so he hang up ..... after smoking, calling et. he decided to get serious , and went to his work

He worked as a filing clerk in a dark, gloomy castle who's cellar was haunted by the ghost of Marlon Brando, who floated around the castle saying floated around the castle saying The Ghostbusters showed up and welll.. nothing excualy... because they were drunk.. so they put his nails in there troath which made the clouds darken and lighting flash and boom pada boom... there was He.. the almighty, the crazy ( no not the stupid frog) , the hot, the superfisitic calistic MACIAMO!!!!! Holding 2 stone tablets containing Banana Fever.

Then all of the garden gnomes broke into dance you put your right foot in , you put your right foot out and Woops they all slid down on a pile of Fetid dingos kidneys, left by a conservative president of the nuclear reactors society, who one day was playing with a piece of green putty, which Inevitably resembled HUGE radioactive boogers that give some kinda new banana fever which could only be cured by a kiss on the ***... so the question is.. who will kiss it.. maybe the kiss can only be conducted by 'dancing pickle guy' when he turns into a ballerina guy and Can astound everybody by not falling over after spinning round and round but then suddenly there was a sound that looked like a mighty vile attack of diarrhea! It seems to come from a tribe of indians doing the YMCA dance

outside the new gambling casino they were just opening called the "Club of the whipping big boys and cream" A group of anti-gambling grandmas gathered in front of the club and began the chicken dance for Chicken-jin the mighty samurai of Chicken-jin the mighty samurai of decapitated in the most horrendous of ways, which resulted in The Emporer of Japan to squeeze President Bush's gonads till he screamed I DID NOT ! it was my father who barfed on the sake cups at the teahouse of the impeccable goat, Where in a secret back room you could buy the "Watanabi Katana" at 1/2 the price that a herd of elephants would usually cost, however a gaggle of geese is much cheaper than a pack of rabid polecats, so the price of a watanabe katana lies around the mid Hyaku en (??) range, but there was a huge fire at the local sword factory where you could get a buy 2 get one free offer at the time which seemed OK till people noticed that The swords had been made of plastic, had melted and turned into the plastic monster from Tau Ceti IV Who saw Shaka Labbit's "Monster Tree" throw -up flooding torrents of vomit like a tsunami , which headed for the US-India Nuclear Technology Proliferation Treaty Banquet to which were invited by the Emperor of Japan, that gave them a whopping big container filled with fugu fish livers to be used to catch the big blue koi that had swam in the pond in front of the 'Three Bears house', whilst the shisa was keeping the ants off of the porridge

In the mean time, Kara Nari was pretending to be 'Goldilocks...' with dark hair she came across more like Bo Derick running across the beach looking more like a 5 than a 10 if only she had access to a hot shower, she could and what is that in her hair??? Looks like sand in her cornrows suddenly from the ocean there emerges a horrible beautiful woman eating jelly fish (lexico always type much: )that had been praying on the sea monster, a cross between the leviathan and the behemoth lurking in the dark, dark abyss where the giant squids used to roam, sucking on drowned mariners, after extracting the bone marrow of which the thankful jelly fish prayed on top of mount smokey, where lived a million snails, varying in size and muscular structure, each with an unnegotiable political agenda and a minuteman-sized nuclear warhead strapped around their bellies to go with it, as they danced the belly dance to the mesmerising tune of sitars playing the tune to 'madame butterfly' which caused each of them to reach deep, deep down into their pockets to harness the inner chi force that would allow them to sing from top of their lungs as shieking banshees calling out to Mother moon on a silent Christmas morning as ET rode by on a Harley with Elliott hanging by his phone cord, desperately trying to call his mother-in-law, who was so mean, that she could bite the heads off nails and heads of states as the queer queen shouted, "Off with their weenies and put them in a great big bun, in which it was the largest Weanie beanie sandwich the poltergeists had ever seen !

so, they contacted the "Ghost Busters" and told them to whip out their thinga-ma-jig, so that they could collect all the ecto-plasm to be used for the anti-mojo powerful enough to neuter a man or a woman when directly injected into the blood stream of hyperactive, xenophobic, schizophrenic, keloptomania, induced state of elephants thinking they were most fit candidates for the first light-speed space mission to Pluto, or thereabouts, all depending if they make it when suddenly, Mr. Scott is beamed up to space for the mysterious entry into the deep woods where all life began, while all the children of the corn bid their last farewell to the honored engineer of USS Enterprise in loving memory, esp. when Capt. Kirk landed on Tatooine, to find Princess Leia for the worst beating of his life for interrupting her on the occasion of the Cherry Blossom Festival, that can only be enjoyed 1 night of the year when the moon is full and to get a seat to watch the Nude Jref Males dancing is a rarity especially when most of them suffer from that terrible problem known as the Free Ball Syndrome, that can only be solved in the coldest of cold situations which unfortunately also results in the well known Seinfeld problem "shrinkage" which makes the guys look like Master Yoda under a camel riding hood in the kiwi desert, with the change of getting banana fever to do the hampster dance for the ole mighty King of JREF, "Thomas the Magnificant" who looked down on the members and said I rule from on high, for I live for those who give me Pancakes for breakfast on a Sunday morning... maple syrup on Gyozas and Gyuniku Ramen sprinkled with spring onions, and some banana sauce, cause banana's are just the greatest aphrodisiacs as well as laxatives for the deep bow syndrom, that is usually caused by the over whelming urge to bow lower than the Emporer of Japan, who seems so light on his feet to decided for a laugh he should now be known as the grand jester of the banana fever clan , wich is the located in the deep gorges of the East African Olduvai where Elephants and aliens are neither rare nor extinct... however there seems to be a shortage of Elephants and aliens are neither rare nor extinct... however there seems to be a shortage of fence-jumping, egg-laying, breast-feeding, book-reading, thread-knitting, peace-loving, husband-nagging, hand-washing, god-fearing .

well anyway its a sort of banana that can be tossed and slapped around like a mugger trying to rob a sumo of his "TOIYT, Underwear, but the Sumo was a fat bastered and said, " Can someone tell me where the nearest "Weight Watchers" branch is, I have to get out of my belly!, oos! I think that was a cheeseburger, some bacon ,and lots of banana's in it, that wasnt very plesent now was it?; come give me some give me some Alka Seltsa before my intestinal gas becomes outraged by the bloating of my cousin Cedric.
 
They launched a rocket at GP but for some silly reason it was pointed the wrong way! so it missed GP and hit A sewerage plant which resulted in the biggest downpour of crap you've heard since "W" delivered his inaugeration speech!

So now with the entire nation covered in poo particles I finally decided to discount all this surreal activity; and resume my search ... for the elusive ... Norwegian Dwarf ! Last we saw of him, he was antagonising the garden gnomes by holding them down and cutting their military budget, and their foreskins that went into the the special stew for the JREF party at Kirei na me's massive birthday bash, where Frank got So drunk he kicked over a house and chased all the women with loooooong black hair and suddenly he noticed kirei na me who was wearing a looooong black wig. Frank then tackled kirei to the ground, beginning to smother her with kisses, when suddenly her wig fell off Frank looked at her in astonishment and said,"Ahh, who cares", and began to continue smothering her with kisses.

Meanwhile The long-black-haired wig caught sight of of the dish and the spoon subsequently the threesome eloped to the rowboat of the owl & the pussycat , rowing to the "island" or "coastland" called Atlantis, where the 9 sage-kings fought, lusting over Brad Pitts pits and Oliver Hardys little buddy, Stan Laurel, who always seemed to dribble over his cornflakes in the morning. Maybe he needed some botox shots in his some marihuana which Dutch baka could send from Amsterdam members only joint which to exercise the largest ever smoke cloud resulting in "W" insisting on writing his own (second) inauguration address quite

Obviously stoned out of his mind really made him see E.T saying : E.T. PHONE HOMEEEEEEEEEE BUT, the operator told ET: Wrong Number you freak. put him through to the Alien queen instead turns out this queen is ugly... so he hang up ..... after smoking, calling et. he decided to get serious , and went to his work

He worked as a filing clerk in a dark, gloomy castle who's cellar was haunted by the ghost of Marlon Brando, who floated around the castle saying floated around the castle saying The Ghostbusters showed up and welll.. nothing excualy... because they were drunk.. so they put his nails in there troath which made the clouds darken and lighting flash and boom pada boom... there was He.. the almighty, the crazy ( no not the stupid frog) , the hot, the superfisitic calistic MACIAMO!!!!! Holding 2 stone tablets containing Banana Fever.

Then all of the garden gnomes broke into dance you put your right foot in , you put your right foot out and Woops they all slid down on a pile of Fetid dingos kidneys, left by a conservative president of the nuclear reactors society, who one day was playing with a piece of green putty, which Inevitably resembled HUGE radioactive boogers that give some kinda new banana fever which could only be cured by a kiss on the ***... so the question is.. who will kiss it.. maybe the kiss can only be conducted by 'dancing pickle guy' when he turns into a ballerina guy and Can astound everybody by not falling over after spinning round and round but then suddenly there was a sound that looked like a mighty vile attack of diarrhea! It seems to come from a tribe of indians doing the YMCA dance

outside the new gambling casino they were just opening called the "Club of the whipping big boys and cream" A group of anti-gambling grandmas gathered in front of the club and began the chicken dance for Chicken-jin the mighty samurai of Chicken-jin the mighty samurai of decapitated in the most horrendous of ways, which resulted in The Emporer of Japan to squeeze President Bush's gonads till he screamed I DID NOT ! it was my father who barfed on the sake cups at the teahouse of the impeccable goat, Where in a secret back room you could buy the "Watanabi Katana" at 1/2 the price that a herd of elephants would usually cost, however a gaggle of geese is much cheaper than a pack of rabid polecats, so the price of a watanabe katana lies around the mid Hyaku en (??) range, but there was a huge fire at the local sword factory where you could get a buy 2 get one free offer at the time which seemed OK till people noticed that The swords had been made of plastic, had melted and turned into the plastic monster from Tau Ceti IV Who saw Shaka Labbit's "Monster Tree" throw -up flooding torrents of vomit like a tsunami , which headed for the US-India Nuclear Technology Proliferation Treaty Banquet to which were invited by the Emperor of Japan, that gave them a whopping big container filled with fugu fish livers to be used to catch the big blue koi that had swam in the pond in front of the 'Three Bears house', whilst the shisa was keeping the ants off of the porridge

In the mean time, Kara Nari was pretending to be 'Goldilocks...' with dark hair she came across more like Bo Derick running across the beach looking more like a 5 than a 10 if only she had access to a hot shower, she could and what is that in her hair??? Looks like sand in her cornrows suddenly from the ocean there emerges a horrible beautiful woman eating jelly fish (lexico always type much: )that had been praying on the sea monster, a cross between the leviathan and the behemoth lurking in the dark, dark abyss where the giant squids used to roam, sucking on drowned mariners, after extracting the bone marrow of which the thankful jelly fish prayed on top of mount smokey, where lived a million snails, varying in size and muscular structure, each with an unnegotiable political agenda and a minuteman-sized nuclear warhead strapped around their bellies to go with it, as they danced the belly dance to the mesmerising tune of sitars playing the tune to 'madame butterfly' which caused each of them to reach deep, deep down into their pockets to harness the inner chi force that would allow them to sing from top of their lungs as shieking banshees calling out to Mother moon on a silent Christmas morning as ET rode by on a Harley with Elliott hanging by his phone cord, desperately trying to call his mother-in-law, who was so mean, that she could bite the heads off nails and heads of states as the queer queen shouted, "Off with their weenies and put them in a great big bun, in which it was the largest Weanie beanie sandwich the poltergeists had ever seen !
 
so, they contacted the "Ghost Busters" and told them to whip out their thinga-ma-jig, so that they could collect all the ecto-plasm to be used for the anti-mojo powerful enough to neuter a man or a woman when directly injected into the blood stream of hyperactive, xenophobic, schizophrenic, keloptomania, induced state of elephants thinking they were most fit candidates for the first light-speed space mission to Pluto, or thereabouts, all depending if they make it when suddenly, Mr. Scott is beamed up to space for the mysterious entry into the deep woods where all life began, while all the children of the corn bid their last farewell to the honored engineer of USS Enterprise in loving memory, esp. when Capt. Kirk landed on Tatooine, to find Princess Leia for the worst beating of his life for interrupting her on the occasion of the Cherry Blossom Festival, that can only be enjoyed 1 night of the year when the moon is full and to get a seat to watch the Nude Jref Males dancing is a rarity especially when most of them suffer from that terrible problem known as the Free Ball Syndrome, that can only be solved in the coldest of cold situations which unfortunately also results in the well known Seinfeld problem "shrinkage" which makes the guys look like Master Yoda under a camel riding hood in the kiwi desert, with the change of getting banana fever to do the hampster dance for the ole mighty King of JREF, "Thomas the Magnificant" who looked down on the members and said I rule from on high, for I live for those who give me Pancakes for breakfast on a Sunday morning... maple syrup on Gyozas and Gyuniku Ramen sprinkled with spring onions, and some banana sauce, cause banana's are just the greatest aphrodisiacs as well as laxatives for the deep bow syndrom, that is usually caused by the over whelming urge to bow lower than the Emporer of Japan, who seems so light on his feet to decided for a laugh he should now be known as the grand jester of the banana fever clan , wich is the located in the deep gorges of the East African Olduvai where Elephants and aliens are neither rare nor extinct... however there seems to be a shortage of Elephants and aliens are neither rare nor extinct... however there seems to be a shortage of fence-jumping, egg-laying, breast-feeding, book-reading, thread-knitting, peace-loving, husband-nagging, hand-washing, god-fearing .

well anyway its a sort of banana that can be tossed and slapped around like a mugger trying to rob a sumo of his "TOIYT, Underwear, but the Sumo was a fat bastered and said, " Can someone tell me where the nearest "Weight Watchers" branch is, I have to get out of my belly!, oos! I think that was a cheeseburger, some bacon ,and lots of banana's in it, that wasnt very plesent now was it?; come give me some give me some Alka Seltsa before my intestinal gas becomes outraged by the bloating of my cousin Cedric.

He has a helium addiction whcih leaves him Squealing like a dolphin on meth and often causes him to blabber words like, ???!????!?& ??! all in a nice fashionable. Tourette's syndrome Japanese version kinda way which caused him to fall in love with the wicked witch of the north; in way, you could say he was in denial because he was really in love with Cordelia, the bride of Dr. Frankenstein's creature, who ran off with Jimmy Hoffer, to start a new life in Nagano, Japan, because that is where the Nagano, Japan, because that is where the the wierd naked indian, that portrays the story of baby Jesus with illicit hand puppets that , when a hand is inserted into them, turn into Transexual Geisha Girls from the planet Horn of PlentyNookie, where old guys who love long black hair go to question their sexuality about whether or not they can withstand the stong urges of their left big toe.

Which, in turn made them feel, "down", so they contacted Bob to check into that commercial about infertility, unrelated but none the less a major problem. They discovered that there was some more gold, so they conducted, "Operation Golden Flow" for the sake of all mankind, otherwise the old guys who love long black hair would have never made it through the tattoo parlour, where a thousand rabid polecats were having a quick beer before they set out to spot and hunt down a whale of a beast, which the whaling commission seriously disapproved of. "We're the only ones who can hunt whales!" they grunted as they baited their many whale traps and threw them over the pile of banana peels all prepared for the mass destruction of the banana theives who weren't aware how treacherously planted were the yekkow-ripe, sweet-smelling banana peels they were about to seep in through their epidermis and poison their skin in the most foul and painful way that can be imagined by means of a liquidified substance, that once in the dermic layers expand and blow your body up to look like the Goodyear blimp , and then the 5 hour process of deflation which is followed by shrinking the skin to fit the bones again by going to a Realization that the whole thing was just a very intense hallucinogenic experience.

Bob the fish realised that he should stop smoking this combination of dried banana peels , mushrooms, and wet sealskins from the shores of Tripoli. Mind you if you smoke this combo just once you will forever be condemned to relive the experience every time you hear "Thoioioioioioi Thoioioing"....to the beat of folk music from Mongolia, which uses a combination pizza for snack during intermission, while the horse-bone flute and penny whistle duel for enternity to win the heart of the most beautiful woman on JREF who we all know is Hulk Hogan dressed in a basque and high heels and sporting a human ear necklace around his neck from the shrunken heads of humanoid alien hostiles who came to hunt for Panty vending machines, but unfortunately found themselves hooked by the near-sighted human traffickers lurking in the red light district in Cambodia where Zippy the angelfish was hooking up a Time Machine that offered him the oppourtunity to visit a planet far away from Earth which was ruled by chimps, guarded by gorillas, and tilled by humans, that mutated into Humprey the Golden Banana.
 
He was a quiet old man, in his 90s whom was a patient of Uncle Frank, but died of global warming because the whales forgot to sundance when teh whaling ships came by the heavily armed Greenpeace ship that was trying to avoid the French Navy, because we all know that they are anti-hippie killing machines that like to eat banana smoothies for breakfast and secretly have sex with 95 year old grandmothers with large sacks of change that buy two for three on any sunday beginning on April Fool's Day and lasting to October 22nd, the very same day that the beer gardens open in Japan on all the West Coast, however in the east of Japan , no one drinks anymore because of prohibition, which was brought in by the evil ruler wun hung lo from the province of Noo Nookie Noww , a small island off the coast of Kyushu known for its bubbling volcanoes and salt marshes and strange lights caused by Uncle Franks
gas emissions.

An unhealthy bi-product of too much Pepsi drinking and eating way too much donkey sausage. Which can only be found in the abdomen of the dog in the goat in the donkey in the camel in the elephant in the post-Ramadan feast at the beduin village of Clacton-on-sea. A magical place filled with the roosters of doom, who only crow when the world is about to send him to the butcher for a neck job; I've seen in my youth, a rooster running away from the potfull of boiling water, but it could not cry, without the head send him to the butcher for a neck job; I've seen in my youth, a rooster running away from the potfull of boiling water, but it could not cry, without the head of a demon lord set on revenge sworn to kill JREF members one by one using the many, long, drawn out ceremeonies of the seppuku on himself.. well if that ddidn't work, the ring-gu calls to which you reply you put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, do the Hookey Pokie and you shake it to that tune of the Barny song, which could only possibly get even more if you're dressed as a Tellatubbie carrying a purse and saying 'eh~oh' to every infant you came across only to horribly find out the infant turns demonic and giant not to mention finds substanance in eating teletubbies and a light vinigarette dressing...oh how we laughed when when the nurse rubbed it into the fresh wound I got from None other than FRANK!

who was cleaning his Patriot missle behind his house when it accidently went off, aimed at South Korea, landed in Lex's back yard, exploded and created a mutated version of Lexico, know as Lushiko.

When the dust cleared it became obvious that He had lost his manly parts, and had morphed into A very attractive geisha now known as Maureen. A traditional Japanese name that dates back to OH gee I dont know about 3-4 years ago when the lesser-spotted goat wesel became extinct...it was fine creature but its main problem was that the Geisha preferred to use its belly skin as..
 
was sitting on a fence....

(I wonder why I bring this thread back to life lol... nothing to do... hate me)
 
Last edited:
what in Jupiters name I was doing.....

(What in Jupiter's name? Reviving old threads. More typing for you in the future:))
 
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