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Help with Japanese Writing?

Liuqahs15

後輩
Joined
13 Nov 2011
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Hey everyone, I've been practicing Japanese on my own, and I'd like to practice constructing sentences. So I decided to try to write a story in Japanese. I've started with a couple sentences, but I'd like someone to read them and tell me if they sound right before I go on.

Please be as critical/harsh as you want, and be honest. Thank you. そして、すみません、でもあまりかんじがありません。

(I put what I wrote and what it should translate to next to each other:


日本語のものがたり:(A tale in Japanese)

このストりはむめいなひとにかかれる。 (This story was written by an unknown person)

むかし、むかし、ふるい日に大きいまつで鬼みたいのひ とをすみました。かれかれのてきはさまのすけさんです 。(Long ago, in the old days, demon-like people lived within an old town. Their enemy was Samanosuke.)

That's all I have so far. I hope someone will PLEASE look it over for me... I have literally no one who can help me to learn.
 
このストーリー/物語[ものがたり]はむめいなひとによってかかれ
(The four-character idiomatic phrase 作者不詳[さくしゃふしょう] can be an equivalent to the sentence above.)

むかし、むかし、大きちにのようなひとびとがんでいました。かれのてきはさまのすけでした
 
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