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Help translating an insert song

Avaleo

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Ok, soI have been trying to learn Japanese myself, but I am not going to learn enough in the mean time to translate a particular song. It's the insert song in episode 10 of Plastic Memories, which Isla's voice actress sings. I REALLY want to know what she is saying. Can someone please help me out?
 
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Is it not already translated in the subtitles? "Plastic Memories" is available on crunchyroll so you should be able to view it for free with English subtitles (and commercials, in low resolution, but what do you want for free?)

If it's not, do you have the time at which the song occurs?
 

Avaleo

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It is not translated in sub. This is either due to the fact that she has a moment when she thinks aloud, or they did not wish to translate it. I found the song by itself online. In the show, the song(and more specifically the lyrics) gets lowered when she talks. The song can be found here They say there is a full version of the song, but I can't find it.
 
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Well, my listening still needs work, I got most of it but I did have to look up the lyrics for a couple of points. あっても -still- sounds like あらても to me even after looking it up, but ah well.

Anyway, this translation is very awkward and unpoetic. I tried to be as literal as possible since you say you're trying to learn Japanese.

This is a pretty good song to learn from, actually; it doesn't have terribly weird grammar that you only find in songs and poetry, and all the vocabulary is common (except maybe プラトニック, but that's a loan word anyway, and this is not the first song I've seen it in.)



なぜか かなしいことが
あっても
わらってみせる
あなたをみてた
Even if for some reason there were sad things, I saw you show me a smile.

"not found" ah...
まるで しらない きもち
"not found" ah....
Completely unknown feeling

あなたが くれた
たくさんの メモリー
The many memories that you've given me

ゆれる こころ  プラトニック
あふれだしてく おもい
A shaken heart, Platonic,
Overflowing feelings

そうよ それは
ただ あなたの こと
すきと いう きもち
Oh yes, those are simply the feeling of loving you.

もしも つたえられた なれば
あした わたし すこしは
かわれるの かな?
If I could convey that to you, I wonder, would I be able to change a little tomorrow?

あなたと おもいで
かさねていけますように
いのってる uh
I pray to be able to go on accumulating memories with you. Oooo.
 

Toritoribe

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Nice translation! I found just a typo もしも つたえられた なば.;)
I think the order "I saw you show me a smile, even if for some reason there were/you had sad things." is better in the first verse since the subject who feels sad is "you" because of みせる.
 
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Thank you kindly for your comments and corrections!

Oh yeah, mixing up vowels is a bad habit of mine even on common words. I was actually a little distracted because I was wondering why it wasn't just, "もしも つたえられれば", although conjugating that out in writing I think I just answered my own question, it's to avoid the double-れ, no actual change in meaning? (Also of course it had to fit the melody).

I didn't actually realize the subject of かなしい was 'you', I thought it was 'us'... Hmm.
The ordering change is definitely an improvement in that case. It's still terribly unnatural English though, I think I would prefer something like, "I saw you show me a smile even when you were sad for some reason."

I was trying hard to be super literal. Which is often a bad idea around 'こと'.
 

Toritoribe

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it had to fit the melody
This is the main purpose to choose つたえられたならば instead of other forms of similar meaning such like つたえられたなら or つたえられたら. There is no problem with つたえられれば, too.
 

Avaleo

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Thank you sooooo much!!!! Tomorrow is my birthday, and so it is like you've given me an early birthday present. I have a question though. When you put
"not found" ah...
まるで しらない きもち
"not found" ah....
Completely unknown feeling
Is the not found part translated lyric? Or is it what you couldn't?
 

mdchachi

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When you put
"not found" ah...
まるで しらない きもち
"not found" ah....
Completely unknown feeling
Is the not found part translated lyric? Or is it what you couldn't?
The first one is literally in the song from 0:45. You can hear the English.
The second one must be a copy/paste mistake and it's not there.
 

Toritoribe

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What Chris-san means is that the last two lines are the translation of the first two lines as same as other verses.

original Japanese lyrics
"not found" ah...
まるで しらない きもち
English translation
"not found" ah....
Completely unknown feeling


original Japanese lyrics
ゆれる こころ  プラトニック
あふれだしてく おもい
English translation
A shaken heart, Platonic,
Overflowing feelings
 
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You're welcome, Avaleoさん.
Thanks, Toritoribeさん for explaining my intent. Sorry about the lazy formatting. I thought I should probably format it better but I didn't make the effort and caused needless confusion.
 

Avaleo

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Thank you so much! I am literally thrilled right now lol
 
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