For what it's worth, I've been here almost 20 years. My son is 14 and has gone to public school. Neither he nor the children of any of my colleagues has ever said one word to me about any sort of bullying, whether in a small town or big city.
You're likely not going to find a bored teacher, retired or otherwise, who will teach Japanese for free, so that will be an added cost. The only HS kids who could help would likely be returnees, IMO. I've taught a couple myself, and most are very self-conscious about their English, to the point of not wanting to be ostracized by their classmates (who have poor English). Wait and see what the school offers.
Schools don't have counselors, but the homeroom teachers serve that purpose, believe it or not. They are the surrogate parents and try to get very close to the kids. It's a real hand-holding society here (which is one reason why kids have problems in English classes in university, where they are actually expected to do things for themselves). Just before an academic year starts, teachers from 2 years get together and go over what to expect from students. They tell the ones who get kids from the previous year who is naughty and nice, who is dating whom (really!), who needs extra help, who is socially introverted, how to handle the physically handicapped, etc. Very mother hen-ish, and surprisingly almost a breach of personal privacy, but that's what they did in my school.
As for your husband, what sort of physics field is he in?
Also, have you checked with your current school to see whether they'd accept credits from a Japanese school, or whether the Tomakomai school will even offer them? If they don't, it might sound defeating to your daughter to have to return to the US and repeat 2 years. A friend of mine suggested homeschooling instead. There's also the option of making an hour or so commute to Sapporo so she can attend the international school there.
