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Finally, I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel....

GoldCoinLover

後輩
24 May 2004
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About a week ago, I was released from the hospital. I spent my birthday in there, my apologies as I wasn't on the forum at the time.

@MikeCash, and to all others. I've been an arrogant, angry, and very selfish person on here. I need a clean slate. I want to ask you all for your forgiveness. I dealt with many nurses, PR nurses at the hospital, and I learned so much. I've always been interested in medical stuff, and they taught me where my radial artery was so I could take my pulse. It runs through the wrist (near the thumb) and through the left side of the arm. When the nurses are taking your pulse and looking at their watch, they are counting a minute, 60 seconds, for your pulse, to figure how much your pulse beats in a minute. Mine was around 102-120......the whole event was very stressful for me. I've learned to take my own pulse now! Frank D.White is a nurse, and I think maybe that's what I want to do with my life and my magic tricks on the side.

MikeCash, I've become to read the bible, starting at The Gospel Of John, and it's helped me tremendously. I was always so blinded, selfish, arrogant, and I think I'm finally going from atheist to finding peace in myself, to Christian. I know I've said sorry in the past and was completely rude by continuing my old bad habits, and I think I've developed a rather negative reputation here 😌


So I'm trying to let this all out now, and start fresh. I manipulated myself out of the hospital because I didn't want to be there. Now I'm 18....and looking back it was a huge mistake. There was this one person at the hospital who was a master of Tai-Chi, one person I met even owned his own Dojo. He taught me relaxation techniques, and we both spoke in Japanese to each other. I taught him some, but he knew much more than I did!


One man drank too much Apple Juice, he had diabetes. He's now in surgery... I'm praying he will be okay. I promised I'd visit him if I can take a bus to Phoenix (I live 30 minutes away from the hospital). So I should Follow through with my promise. That's one reason I wanted to get out, so I could see him in the hospital. I think I'll buy him a box of sugar-free chocolates...
I don't care how much money it costs -- my parents don't have the time to take me, they work, I'll pay it to go see him. My mom cancelled my car insurance because I didn't have a car (They sold it because I wouldn't drive it enough), although I have a drivers license. I promised him...I don't want to back away from my promise.


God bless everyone here! 👍

PS: I think Elizabeth told me earlier how to type, "Where is the nearest train station?" Well, I learned the stroke order of my first kanji today, I kept writing it over and over again as everyone else has said. I might've said I wrote them in the past -- I lied. I'll be straight up, I lied. I lied because I was too arrogant to realize that lying didn't get me anywhere. I wouldn't take anyone's advice, not even Frank's!

I'll try and find the camera and take a picture of it. Here's the sentence it was used in:
「最寄り駅はどこですか?」 < ---- Kanji & Kana
"Moyori eki wa doko desu ka?" <---- Romanized
Where is the nearest train station?

It's this one:


Mikecash, I used your instructions on how to use it. Remember, you gave them to me? Here they are if you don't remember, you said "So I'd never ask again.":
1) go to http://www.csse.monash.edu.au/~jwb/wwwjdic.html
2) click on "Find Kanji in the Database"
3) type in the kanji you need help within the box and press enter
4) up comes a list of index numbers for various other dictionaries (including Heisig's 'Remembering the Kanji'), as well as a few English meanings.
5) on that screen click 'SOD', this will give you an animated gif of the kanji being written, in the correct stroke order! Click refresh to see it being written again.


I did that, finally, and practised the stroke order.

I'm going to go and find the digital camera now....
 
Good to hear from you again, and so upbeat. I pray that it is not out of character for you to be this optomistic. I hope that it weathers all the negativity and backlash that is out there: there are way too many people that need to rain on some one else's parade.
 
glad to see you thinking positively. I wish you good health! don't forget to check your birthday thread
 
Glad to hear from you again! I was pretty worried about you this time. I'm glad that you got treatment and are trying to turn your life around. I wish you the best!
 
Hey, welcome back! I missed you! :joyful: It's good to hear that you are feeling so much better and more positive. Keep it up! 👍

That's good about the kanji. I can't write even one kanji! I want to learn, when my exams are over, so that link you provided will probably be helpful to me - thanks! :)
 
Kevin ! Welcome back and what a wonderful reintroduction to hear you sounding so balanced and comfortable with your life. I always believed it was possible and just hope now it is something that can be sustained. :)
Have fun and don't become a stranger to us here again ! :p
 
PS: I think Elizabeth told me earlier how to type, "Where is the nearest train station?" Well, I learned the stroke order of my first kanji today,
Now that we're all coming clean, I have to confess that it was JT_san who must have taught you that phrase. And btw, if anyone deserves an apology from you in my opinion it would be him....😊
 
I'm very glad to have you back and even more glad to hear that things are looking up for you and that you are facing the future with more optimism.
 
Hi GoldCoinLover, glad to hear you are feeling a bit better and finding more inner-peace within yourself, remember to take it easy though and not get too stressed or unhappy about yourself though, we all feel weak somtimes and even when we feel strong, the road can still be too long to run- make sure you find your own pace at doing things 👍 :) .
 
sabro said:
Good to hear from you again, and so upbeat. I pray that it is not out of character for you to be this optimistic. I hope that it weathers all the negativity and backlash out there: there are way too many people who need to rain on someone else's parade.

I'm still struggling every day with my problems. It is pretty out of character for me to be this optimistic. I think it's called HYPERMania. If anyone here knows what a cosine wave looks like (Maybe it's a sine wave), there's the ups and downs, positive and negative. That's how I feel often.
MikeCash, good to hear from you again.

Take a look at this! おもろしい 「 (Omoroshii...Interesting, I think it means. I think I remember that from Yan-san video, and I think it is said in the video: "Oishii....")

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=2572&CAT=movies&NSFW=0&rtn=search-2572&Keywords=magic

I've always done things for the wrong type of attention: Negative Attention. It didn't win me any friends. It probably did the opposite. I'm trying to work on doing things for positive attention, which is good.

Everything I've said on here, I've done for attention. Whether it was positive or negative. I'm going to have to be straight up and admit that.


TokisPhoenix-san and everyone else who replied here,
I always get stressed out over the littlest things. But everyone's praise here gives me a lot of encouragement. If I start to sound arrogant or selfish, I pray that I'll catch myself, so I don't get into the same habit, and I hope someone will point it out to me, or perhaps I can figure it out myself.
 
I hope that you can have also the strength to get through the times that you don't feel so good... I think it sounds really positive so far! :p

I learned that omoshiroi is interesting... but I'm afraid I can't write it in hiragana on this computer I'm on. T_T And oishii is tasty (someone correct me if I'm wrong!).

:)
 
Well, hello there GoldCoinLover san!! I am glad to hear from you again, and, as so well said in the several posts above, in such a positive mode. I know well enough about the up and down thing, it may be something that comes regardless, yet let's just hope that the downs are very shallow!! The big ole world just spins right around, and we've got sunshine again !! It saves the day !!

I'm happy for you !! 👍 :)
 
*gaijin_girl hugs gcl* I've gone through severe depression, so I can understand what a struggle you've been through. Stay strong!
 
It feels good to have a clean slate. Welcome back, you gold coin lover, you.
 
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