- 15 Mar 2002
- 16,758
- 2,298
The old story about a fisherman walking down a pier when he spotted a husband and wife fishing together...
"How do you get your wife to come fishing with you?"
"How do you get yours to stay home?"
Dealing with workaholic Japanese girlfriend
- Thread starter Bosox86
- Start date
The old story about a fisherman walking down a pier when he spotted a husband and wife fishing together...
"How do you get your wife to come fishing with you?"
"How do you get yours to stay home?"
DBC Japan
Kouhai
- 15 Jan 2016
- 29
- 0
Well my wife works 9-6, sometimes up to 8pm.
I work 9-6pm usually, but in the months for student visa renewal or applications I will work 9am - 10pm for a whole month and then am allowed lieu time at a later date, however, taking that time is frowned upon. Although I do not care so much as time is more valuable than money for me.
I work 9-6pm usually, but in the months for student visa renewal or applications I will work 9am - 10pm for a whole month and then am allowed lieu time at a later date, however, taking that time is frowned upon. Although I do not care so much as time is more valuable than money for me.
I have lived and worked in Japan for some years now, and have found that the "workaholic" lifestyle isn't exactly what it seems. It is true that Japanese spend a lot of time at the office, however, the amount of work actually done is the same or less that what would be accomplished in an American or European office in an 8 hour workday.
The interesting thing about Japanese companies is that full-time workers receive strong legal protection, meaning that once you are hired, getting fired, or even demoted, is very difficult. Another thing is that Japanese companies promote by seniority rather than by performance. People who work hard will not be promoted any more quickly than people who work little. Since performance is not rewarded, workers don't bother to perform. Since workers don't perform, it takes more time to do a certain amount of work, and, worse yet, more workers must be hired in order to get work done.
As a result, Japanese companies tend to be overstaffed, wages are stagnant, and these companies have a harder time competing with foreign companies, whose workers are promoted and paid according to their performance. The very best and most ambitious workers in Japan prefer to work for "international" (which means not Japanese) companies.
My wife works for an American company which has a subsidiary office in Tokyo, which for years had been under Japanese management. The staff worked from 9 to 11 every day. One day, the Japanese managing director was fired, and a replacement from England put into his place. When the new director arrived, he was surprised at the long hours people worked, and even more surprised at how little work was actually being done. He then mandated that all employees would have to leave the office at 7pm, yet still do the same amount of work. The staff were horrified, and thought that it would be impossible to get their work done by 7pm. Many considered resigning, and began looking for jobs in other companies. But after a couple of months, they found that they could indeed get their work done in 4 hours less time than they had had before.
The interesting thing about Japanese companies is that full-time workers receive strong legal protection, meaning that once you are hired, getting fired, or even demoted, is very difficult. Another thing is that Japanese companies promote by seniority rather than by performance. People who work hard will not be promoted any more quickly than people who work little. Since performance is not rewarded, workers don't bother to perform. Since workers don't perform, it takes more time to do a certain amount of work, and, worse yet, more workers must be hired in order to get work done.
As a result, Japanese companies tend to be overstaffed, wages are stagnant, and these companies have a harder time competing with foreign companies, whose workers are promoted and paid according to their performance. The very best and most ambitious workers in Japan prefer to work for "international" (which means not Japanese) companies.
My wife works for an American company which has a subsidiary office in Tokyo, which for years had been under Japanese management. The staff worked from 9 to 11 every day. One day, the Japanese managing director was fired, and a replacement from England put into his place. When the new director arrived, he was surprised at the long hours people worked, and even more surprised at how little work was actually being done. He then mandated that all employees would have to leave the office at 7pm, yet still do the same amount of work. The staff were horrified, and thought that it would be impossible to get their work done by 7pm. Many considered resigning, and began looking for jobs in other companies. But after a couple of months, they found that they could indeed get their work done in 4 hours less time than they had had before.
This is the one thing that gets to me. Why do they talk about work when they are off work. When they say that they are now going to relax and have a good time, they still talk about work. What is the point of living a life in this manner? You have all these workers working 60-80 hours a week on one extreme, and part timers who don't work even 40 hours on the other. I also noticed that if you were to tally up their "Arubaito" hourly wage and multiplied it by the number of hours that these salaryman earn even after adding in the bonuses, it comes to being roughly the same. So all this salaryman job is nothing more than a guarantee of getting work all the time. Looking at it this way, the Eikaiwa job that many people look down upon probably offers the best work life balance that many Japanese people would accept if they were offered the same pay with the same number of required hours of work.
Unfortunately if that's the kind of lifestyle you want to share with her, she might not be willing to do the same. I've dated someone for many years that did just that and while I didn't mind working a 12-hour shift, couples should be couples and I came to the realization that such a lifestyle wasn't for me and we conflicted a bit too much on that and that's how it ended. Some people work and work to forget about their depression too which is something to consider. These days I work 6hrs a day and so does my wife and that's the beauty of life, you can figure out a lifestyle that works best for you and find someone who will do the same.
I'm not saying you should break up with her but you're early enough in the relationship where you can make that decision and not worry so much about it unlike if you dated her for several years or god forbid realize this after you get married. Just remember, a loving relationship is mutual and not a one-way street. Both of you need to understand each other and if she won't budge for your needs because her needs conflict, well, you'll have some decisions to make. That's my 2cents
I'm not saying you should break up with her but you're early enough in the relationship where you can make that decision and not worry so much about it unlike if you dated her for several years or god forbid realize this after you get married. Just remember, a loving relationship is mutual and not a one-way street. Both of you need to understand each other and if she won't budge for your needs because her needs conflict, well, you'll have some decisions to make. That's my 2cents
WonkoTheSane
先輩
- 12 May 2013
- 1,335
- 311
I don't think these people get this far before posting. I think they read the OP and assume they are the special person who has the magical answer not yet given in multiple pages of posts.
I was talking to a friend here about how I saw a drink guy fall on the train tracks and the other people ignored it and he told me that, as a Japanese person, he generally assumes an expert will come by to handle things so he tends to not get involved.
I think westerners and Japanese tend to fall on opposite ends of that spectrum, and the extremes of both are equally perplexing.
- 8 Aug 2005
- 7,316
- 3,727
The question raised in this thread strikes a deep nerve when people compare the work/life balance of Japan to other places, and how bemusing or frustrating it is from their own cultural perspective.
