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Could you fall in love online?

twinklestar

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I am open to all possiblities,but hold some reservations on anyone can actually fall in love over some posting or e-mail exchanges.

This thread reminds me of the 1990's film,you've got mail starred Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks.
 

Uncle Frank

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Lives ruined ?

My hunting buddy found out his wife was having an internet "affair". She from Maine and he from Georgia. In just 3 monthes time , they decided to give up their long term marriages and 5 kids(2 her/3 him), to be with each other. The last I knew, they are living happily in a trailer park in Maine while their spouses and kids try to recover and understand why.

Uncle Frank

:eek:
 

Davey

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How about KEEPING your love online?

I, as many others, have had a distance relation for 2 years, and we only talked online, and on the phone. I am almost sure that I wouldn't be able to keep the relationship if I couldn't be online.

Thank you my holy internet!!!
 

leonmarino

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No need to beat yourself up over an attraction to someone other than your spouse. Everyone needs a healthy distraction (or two) once in awhile just as long as you don't forget what's truly important in your life.
I agree that it is important to remember what is "important" in life.. But I can't help noticing that many of the posters here have a bias towards a steady marriage, or in any case downplay these feelings and attraction towards this other person to "distractions". I don't mean to say that people should abandon all steady relationships and go at it, but there is a chance that you might meet someone that makes you feel like he/she can offer you a happier life than you have now. Saying these are just glitches of the mind seems like a bit disrespectful towards the wonders of human interaction.

What I am trying to say that every encounter in life, no matter if it's over the internet or in "real-life" (What's the difference? It's just a different set of senses that you use in either situation), can be very valuable and possibly life-changing. It is up to the persons involved how to deal with it.

One thing I have to stress is the need to be honest. Try to be honest to your partner, to your friends, to your chat-mate.. I think I don't need to emphasize this too much because if you have the courage to post such a problem on the forum it means you are genuinely interested in knowing other people's views on your situation.
 

Ma Cherie

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I really think it depends on the person. I feel that some people could fall in love online very easily. But the issue I have with this is that person you could be falling in love with is probably not being honest about who she or he is. From what I hear, one issue with online relationships is that they're so passive aggressive. You could fall in love one day and end up fighting the next day.

Falling in love online could work for some people, but not all.
 

Goldiegirl

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Wow, I can't believe how open everyone has been on this subject. Emotions and feelings are crazy things. You want to control them, but sometimes it feels so good to just let go...not that you will get anywhere better or worse for that matter.
 

Sarah Jane

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I'm on the fence about it.


I really like someone that I've only talked to online.
We've known each other for just over a year now.
He's seen me on cam...
But we've never talked on microphone.
And he hasn't been on cam... or even shown me a picture.

Besides that, he lives on the other side of the country. :cautious:


I really really like him.
And I want to be with him.
I think about him everyday.
Itai...

I just want to be able to know that he is who he says he is.
I mean... who wouldn't?
But until I see him on cam... I can't fully trust him, you know.


I really want him to be legitimate.
About who he is... and about his feelings for me.
And I really want something to become of us.
If... and when... and how...
 

Tsuyoiko

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But until I see him on cam... I can't fully trust him, you know.
Is there a good reason he hasn't been on cam? Personally I would be very reluctant to use a cam unless we were both using one.
 

Sarah Jane

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Yeah...
I'd really prefer it if we were both on.


But his reason for not going on is that

- He's embarassed to go on...
- He doesn't have access to it


But I've been on countless times.


I know that it doesn't sound right.
But I mean... really.
I've gone on... why can't he.

-Sighs-
 

Duo

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Being your age I would suggest you go try to find love/lust/affection whatever have you the old fashion way, people to people interaction. This is the time for you to develop such intra-personal skills, if you're gonna be having a substitute digital life instead of a real one you will regret it. We're becoming some digital robots,,,even falling in love online........there is a limit to all and this is too much
 

kirei_na_me

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Having said what I did, I think the best love can can be found right under your nose.

I think we go to too many lengths trying to find "true love". Some comb the internet, some travel the world, but I think in many cases, the love of your life might be in your own backyard. I have to admit, I was one who was always seeking someone "different". Someone who was from another country, someone who was halfway across this country, someone who was a lot older than me, etc., but I found what I always wanted just a mile or two down the road...

Best of luck to you, Caroline. Believe me, as a married woman(only not so happily), I know how hard that kind of situation can be. I've been there. I'm there now.
 

Duo

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Hehehe, might I add that you mite find what you need even if you're not looking for it or don't even know you need it.
 

Kinsao

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Exactly! :)
Everyone has such wise words on j-ref... :p 😌

@ Sarah Jane : hmmmm... to be honest... I don't have a problem with anyone not using cam - but if they expect me to use it and then they don't, that would make me suspicious. I mean if they were encouraging me to use it and then they refused to. If you were the one who first suggested you use the cam... that's a bit different. But all the same, I'd back off on it a little if I were you. I can't give a concrete reason; just my instinct. Me, I don't actually have a cam, and I'm quite surprised that people are willing to be seen on cam when they know I don't have one. ☝

Seriously though, if the guy likes you, then he should either get a cam or be ok with im and photos. After all, he knows what you look like now. Still, guess you're the best judge of your situation...

:cautious:
 

Elizabeth

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Having said what I did, I think the best love can can be found right under your nose.
I think we go to too many lengths trying to find "true love". Some comb the internet, some travel the world, but I think in many cases, the love of your life might be in your own backyard. I have to admit, I was one who was always seeking someone "different". Someone who was from another country, someone who was halfway across this country, someone who was a lot older than me, etc., but I found what I always wanted just a mile or two down the road...
Distance and differences to the extent they are managable I think are the ideal both to put your own life in better perspective, for the children to widen their horizons, etc. But the bitterness of separation or unfulfilled expectations, if those are there, can fill a person with such resentment and total lack of control over their partner's situation they almost feel like ending it all. :(

I'm very happy for those who have found what they are looking for. Right now I just want to concentrate on Japanese with the hopes of moving there eventually. 😌
 

Mikawa Ossan

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I tried using the internet to find love. (admittedly, that is different from the situation outlined by Tsuyoiko, but that seems to have been resolved, thankfully!) I didn't find it there, however.

I found it in a very unlikely place: at my friends' wedding. Maybe the place was not unlikely, but the object of my affections surely was. The bride's sister, who I had known for years but never once had any thoughts about. She was just radiant. Beautiful. Refined. She has grasped my very being ever so tightly and seems to pull tighter and tighter every day.

All to say that love has a mind all to its own. I think it is perfectly possible to fall in love over the internet.
 

Kinsao

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@ Mikawa : I'm happy to read you have fallen in love, and hope that she returns your feelings! :) :romance:
 

Raika

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@ rocklee: great! Another Belgian! ..who loves Finland! :D are you sure you're not secretly my second identity? ;-)

as for online love, I don't know. I haven't had any experience yet, but I think.. ..I know someone who does, and she's been "dating" with the guy for about 2 months now, and they seem really happy and in love, so, yeah I guess it's possible..
 

noyhauser

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Waay back when the internet was young (aka 1998) I met my first GF online. I got the goosebumps and the attraction was there. Sure there are physical aspects to a relationship but I think there are some very compelling aspects to meeting someone online. When I was younger I found that I was not the most confident person in the world. Talking over the internet certainly helped take the edge off of meeting people because the immediacy and meeting someone is removed. An attractive looking twenty something is lot less intimidating when she’s only a block of text. Then there is an ancillary issue of personality. The internet I think allows people to put forward more honest representation of themselves, partly because of the intimidation factor. Its often easier to connect with someone who shares your passions online than in the real world, particularly when our societies now have individuals who have such diverse interests. One of my Favorite quotes come from Antoine De Saint Exupery who said that: ツ“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction.ツ”
The trick is to find that person who shares these interests.

Take this forum for example, everybody is brought here because of their interest in Japan, or Japanese related culture. You can very easily connect with somebody here and develop a relationship based on a strong shared interest on Japan or culture or something. Plenty have, and I almost got sucked into the trap at one point. I think online dating allows people to remove quite a bit of the initial difficulty in dating, the initial junk that might prevent two very right people from meeting and liking each other. The problem comes when those two people have to meet each other. Quite frequently, grand expectations can be dashed. At the same time many people have found love online and kept it going.

That all said, I actually don’t use online dating in the least. First off, I realized after my first girlfriend that it wasn’t for me. I don’t really ツ“lookツ” for people to date. I don’t even try to pick up anymore, because I’m somewhat discerning in my interests. I usually meet the people I date through what I do day-to-day aspects of my life or through friendly gatherings, where I develop a rapport and then decide to maybe go a bit further. Meeting someone in a ツ“datingツ” atmosphere to me puts too much pressure and brings out the wrong kind of people anyway. 90% of the time the attractive brunette standing at the end of the bar is really not worth my time anyways, because she wouldn’t share my eclectic tastes. But I can meet them in a gathering and get a very good idea of who they are with the full knowledge that I do find them physically appealing as well. Takes a lot of the problems out of it, and I enjoy meeting new people in daily settings.
 

RockLee

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@ rocklee: great! Another Belgian! ..who loves Finland! :D are you sure you're not secretly my second identity? ;-)
as for online love, I don't know. I haven't had any experience yet, but I think.. ..I know someone who does, and she's been "dating" with the guy for about 2 months now, and they seem really happy and in love, so, yeah I guess it's possible..
Hm, I don't know, I still had a weewee last time I checked :D
 

NineInchPigs

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I can´t even count how many times i felt in love in online Boys ;-;..While you are chatting, you think the other one is perfect.And you finaly get down to earth when you meet the person face to face..^^
 
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