Clubs and girls in Tokyo

[Mal]

how about just asking 'is she always this nice, or is she treating me special?'

Recognized and filed away sir!

/salute

 

[Jofi]

Okey, there's been a misunderstanding, I'm not going to Japan to get laid (even though it might sounded like it). I'm going to Japan to see some friends of mine I haven't seen for a couple of years. AND I might go out in Tokyo and just wanted to know "the rules"...

...and to all you guys that think I will steal your japanise girls, know you, it's really up to them if they are interested or not...

Thanks for all good messages.

 

[budd]

ok, i can understand that.
i had a friend who dated a swedish girl, and although i thought she was a bit wild ie: she would literally demand from him, in fact she umm *deflowered* him
explaining swedish dating customs helps with comprehension, much thanks!
i bought this movie called i am curious to understand a bit more... but i haven't had a chance to watch it
thanks for some of the responses
most interesting

 

[Mal]

i had a friend who dated a swedish girl, and although i thought she was a bit wild ie: she would literally demand from him, in fact she umm *deflowered* him

Sweden here I come!

 

[JacksonZ]

It's easy; show up in your Ferrari, wearing your newest Armani suit, buy drinks for everyone at the bar, and get a life. You should be OK then.

ahahahaha

to the sweden guy who made this thread;
make eye contact with her, buy her drinks, flirt, talk, etc., just don't go overboard unless she wants you to. good luck.

 

[MajideSaiaku]

...and to all you guys that think I will steal your japanise girls, know you, it's really up to them if they are interested or not...

just wanted to highlight that point, its about as true as it can get, on the same topic, japanese guys are more then welcome to come to our countries and try their luck here, it isnt a one-way thing, and its ultimatly a girls decision if she wants to try foreign or not.

 

[ffrost_nova622]

players....

that is jus wrong....players a dickheads...sorry for the bad use of language but still!.... unless the person is really desperate. if i would pick a lady up i wouldnt treat her like that. EXCEPTION..that she really wants to do it

 

[jieshi]

that is jus wrong....players a dickheads...sorry for the bad use of language but still!.... unless the person is really desperate. if i would pick a lady up i wouldnt treat her like that. EXCEPTION..that she really wants to do it

I'm behind you on the players thing all the way, I totally agree because a player is something I never want to be (oooh that rhymes lol)

 

[Rich303]

Nice one Jieshi,
Big up the gentleman crew! I'm proud to not be an 'Alpha male'...1 lovely lady is enough for me.

 

[Pachipro]

Back in the 70's and 80's when I was living over there single, I never really had to pick anyone up or really make the first move. I and a friend or two would go to a popular place in Yokohama or Tokyo,(usually Roppongi, Shinjuku, or Shibuya), sit down, order a drink and start to scope the place out. Sooner or later (usually sooner), some woman/women would come up to one/both of us and ask us in English if we would like to dance or if they could sit with us or if we spoke English. This usually resulted in quite a few "scores". More so than us making the first move believe it or not!

Also, if no one came up to us it was pretty easy to spot the women who were interested in meeting you with casual eye contact. The eye contact game was usually successful over 90% of the time.

Maybe the same still holds true today. I don't know as I have been married to a Japanese woman for the past 20 years and have been away from that scene for the same amount of time. But we were pretty spoiled back then not having to make the first move.

I learned that to be successful all you have to do is dress decent (casual slacks, shirt and/or jacket and shoes; be well groomed, a little cologne, and just be confident.

Also, in the outlying areas, where I lived, more success was generated with meeting the ladies in local clubs and bars as gaijin were rare or non-existant in these places. And if you spoke any decent Japanese you could be 90% sure you would meet a lady or two more often than not. If a Japanese friend brought you to these places the success rate was more than 95%.

Although I am happily married today, I do miss those days though. Maybe that's why I didn't marry again until I was 31! (My first marriage to a Japanese woman when I was 20 lasted for two years, but that's another story as she was not happy that I got out of the military to attend University in Japan. In my opinion she was the last of her generation of Japanese women who married a foreigner or military man for a "better life".)

Anyway it was nine years of pure unadulterated fun! Good luck in your visit!

 

[Rich303]

Hello Pachipro,

Would you say that ladies in Japan are put off if you are not wearing really smart clothes? Although I take a lot of pride in my appearance, it is rare for me to wear jackets and trousers (I have one pair that I like). I am meeting my penpal (and her family)and I would like to make a good impression, but I also want to be comfortable and feel myself.
Also I might be going out on my own some nights and wouldn't rule out a little flirting,so I would be interested to know what you think.
One other thing, I am traveling on my own to Japan: is it unusual to see men out on their own? Do you think it's harder to make friends in bars etc. if you go it alone?
Cheers, Richard

 

[Damicci]

well when we went out me an dmy friend we were at least spoken to by a women or man atleast once each night so i don't think it is too hard to make friends but probably harder if you can't communicate with the interested party. also if you do speak to someone make sure you gwet some contact information

 

[Pachipro]

Would you say that ladies in Japan are put off if you are not wearing really smart clothes? Although I take a lot of pride in my appearance, it is rare for me to wear jackets and trousers (I have one pair that I like). I am meeting my penpal (and her family)and I would like to make a good impression, but I also want to be comfortable and feel myself.
Also I might be going out on my own some nights and wouldn't rule out a little flirting,so I would be interested to know what you think.
One other thing, I am traveling on my own to Japan: is it unusual to see men out on their own? Do you think it's harder to make friends in bars etc. if you go it alone?

Hello Richard. This is only my opinion and maybe things have changed on the dating scene these days, but yes, in a way, J-Ladies are kind of put off if you don't at least dress casual and neat when going out to a bar or club. Of course if the club you're going to is a rock place or grunge or hip-hop etc, then of course you should dress accordingly as you'd probably stick out and look out of place. But if you're just going to a regular Japanese bar or club then "sharp casual" would be your best bet for the best success. This could be neat jeans and clean sneakers with a button down shirt or clean T-shirt. Anyway, it's best to be prepared with different kinds of clothes. If it's summer, then of course a jacket is not needed. You will hardly see any J-men wearing shorts, even in the summer, when they are going out on the town "girl-hunting" as they say. They usually dress "sharp casual".

On the other hand, just beign a gaijin, it may not matter how you look if they are interested in meeting you. Believe it or not, I met my wife on the day when I looked my worst. I needed a shave, my hair was hand combed and I was just wearing a pair of old sweats and dirty sneakers. I just rushed to the local supermarket to get something to cook at home and grab a bite to eat at McDonalds that afternoon.

When meeting the parents, it's best to dress as best you can as first impressions, especially with parents and older folk, is important. Afterwards you can dress how you want.

When you go over there you'll see how sharp and fashionable J-ladies dress. They usually look for the same in men. Birds of a feather not only flock together, but they seek out the same. Believe it or not many, not all, J-ladies pre-judge men just by the type of clothes they are wearing.

Going out on your own would not really be a bad thing if you know the language. The workers in most regular bars and such for the locals will probably not speak English too well, if at all. If you're going to a place where many foreigners congregate than I wouldn't worry. Flirt to your hearts content my man wherever you go! Also, it's not unusual to see single men out on their own. If you can speak at least a little of the language to make yourself understood it will not be too hard to make friends going to a local place on your own as alot of people would be curious to find out just why the gaijin came into their place. By the way, how much Japanese do you speak anyway?

Check out this story I posted a while back and you'll see what I'm talking about: Kita no Yado Kara

Anyway, have yourself a great time and just be yourself. If you're comfortable dressing a particular way then by all means do. In the end, if a J-lady is interested in you it will not matter what you're wearing.

 

[Rich303]

Pachipro iz da man!

Wow Pachipro, thanks for being so helpful.

I will bear your pearls of wisdom in mind. I suppose the stye element is one of the big attractions for me with J-ladies.
I will reach some kind of compromise in my attire, although I am a bit of a T-shirt buff (I often make my own) My most recent ones are the 'Roland' and 'Korg' corporation logos, and one of the (Japanese) inventor of the Roland TB-303 synthesizer (I'm mad about electronic music!)
I heard there is a fashion for American corporate logos in Japan recently - I hope I don't look a fool with my Japanese and German ones.

Anyway,in answer to your question; My Japanese language skills are quite limited. I've only been learning since I started working for a japanese company about a month ago.
I can get by with the basics and a few special polite sayings, I can say where I'm from and what my job is but I have a long way to go.
I will probably need to take classes to improve. I have been doing shift work for 5 years which pretty much buggers up most aspects of your life but not any more,so I can start sorting my life out!

Thanks again Mr.Silverballs!...Rich

 

[Pachipro]

I heard there is a fashion for American corporate logos in Japan recently - I hope I don't look a fool with my Japanese and German ones.

You won't. Any T-shirt, Jacket, ball cap etc. with western writing or a logo on it is cool in Japan. You'll see when you get over there. If you're just trekking around, your t-shirt & jeans will be just fine.

I can get by with the basics and a few special polite sayings, I can say where I'm from and what my job is but I have a long way to go.

Hey, it's alot more than most tourists speak and will be sufficient enough to get your foot in the door with the ladies or in a local place as any Japanese a westerner speaks seems to impress any and all Japanese people. I'm sure you already found this out in the topic "All Things Japanese".

 

[budd]

"That's because you asian guys are constantly"
alert! alert! silly racial generalization heah!!! thus also pushing the sour grapes button as well

"I can't tell you the number of times I have had Japanese guys trying to (and did) sabotage me."
right now its sounding like IF they DID it, they did it in self defense?

 

[kirei_na_me]

budd, could you do me a favor and copy and paste this post of yours onto the "C-Blocking" thread? I really want it to be there.

 

[Tim33]

I'd just like to point out that I'm not perpetuating any sort of crazy ideas or anything, for me this started out as offering some general dating advice. Please don't lump me in with the j-girl fetishist

I am a j-girl fetishist, they are the best.

I am seeing one at the moment, she is gorgeous.

 

[Ermac]

Interesting read throughout the whole thread.

When i was younger i could be described as one of those white guys who jumps of the plane with the urge to get laid asap (sorry it was true).
Time has changed, i have changed and i no longer feel the urge to get laid asap when i visit japan again.
It is laughable to see myself and how i was before.
Man i was an idiot.

But history repeats itself, i made a mistake and someone will make the same mistake then someone will make that same mistake again. its just the way it works.

Final thing, it has been said in a previous post that you got asain guys saying that all the gaijin are coming to take youre women, well since when where they youre women?
All women should have a right to be or at least sleep with a guy of their choice.

- Ermac

 

[blade]

Pachipro and rich 303 is spot on! Through my experiences I noticed that if you dress neatly with nice jeans, clean white running shoes, and with the latest casual fashions that you would see in the MTV movies awards you are guaranteed to get lots of attention from the J-girls.

There is a myth going around that J-girls only go for white guys. This is not true J-girls go for different types of men according to their preference. I have medium tan brown skin and I shave my head, and I always got complements on my skin colour and the way I look. I also got J-girls that would shock my white friends and they always ask me for advice. I am not only successful with the ladies in Japan but also in my own country. Remember if you look like a superstar you get treated like a superstar.

 

[PopCulturePooka]

Remember if you look like a superstar you get treated like a superstar.

QFT!!!


And yeah, it was my expereince that the guys in Japan who got the most J-girls and were the luckiest were guys who were awesomely lucky in their home countries too.

 

[Jack]

Interesting read throughout the whole thread.

When i was younger i could be described as one of those white guys who jumps of the plane with the urge to get laid asap (sorry it was true).
Time has changed, i have changed and i no longer feel the urge to get laid asap when i visit japan again.
It is laughable to see myself and how i was before.
Man i was an idiot.

But history repeats itself, i made a mistake and someone will make the same mistake then someone will make that same mistake again. its just the way it works.

Final thing, it has been said in a previous post that you got asain guys saying that all the gaijin are coming to take youre women, well since when where they youre women?
All women should have a right to be or at least sleep with a guy of their choice.

- Ermac

ahh the young and the feeble very feint as to what its all about, i tell you things never change we just adapt to the new.

 

[Ermac]

Trust you to pick out my comment.

Its like you track me or something

 

[Doc]

Sharp casual? Sharp casual?? Sharp casual??!!! I dress in that every single freaking day and I cannot even pick up a woman here in the States if I tried. God I suck, and that is sad.

Doc

 

[Kinsao]

Don't worry - I don't even understand the concept of 'sharp casual'. It sounds like an oxymoron. ☝ Mehh, it's just me that's a m o r o n!

EDIT: you mean to tell me this thing edits the word m o r o n?!?!?!