- 7 Jun 2008
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This topic was suggested by the "Desperate for love" thread.
For a non-Japanese, is it better to meet a Japanese lover abroad or in Japan?
Meeting them abroad:
- Pro: A Japanese traveling abroad is more likely to be broad-minded, interested in other languages and cultures, and will have experience living in your home country (assuming that's where you meet them), so has some idea what to expect if the relationship winds up going somewhere and you decide to live there. You'll know they aren't just attracted to your foreign novelty because they're around lots of other people like you.
- Con: You may not have the chance to meet their parents and friends. Japanese are highly likely to change once returning home, and may submit to family pressure and dump you. For many young Japanese who travel abroad, their experience may be their only life opportunity for freedom from Japanese social pressures and for new experiences. The Japanese person may simply have "romance with a native" on his/her list of foreign adventures. You won't know what living in Japan is like, if you want to live there.
Meeting them in Japan:
- Pro: You'll know what Japan is like. If your partner is serious about you, eventually they will introduce you to their family. If the Japanese person is willing to be seen with you in Japan, then you know they are willing to accept you as part of their normal life.
- Con: You won't know whether the Japanese person could adapt to living abroad, if that's where you want to live. They might not have any real interest in your language or culture. They might just be attracted to your gaijin novelty.
For a non-Japanese, is it better to meet a Japanese lover abroad or in Japan?
Meeting them abroad:
- Pro: A Japanese traveling abroad is more likely to be broad-minded, interested in other languages and cultures, and will have experience living in your home country (assuming that's where you meet them), so has some idea what to expect if the relationship winds up going somewhere and you decide to live there. You'll know they aren't just attracted to your foreign novelty because they're around lots of other people like you.
- Con: You may not have the chance to meet their parents and friends. Japanese are highly likely to change once returning home, and may submit to family pressure and dump you. For many young Japanese who travel abroad, their experience may be their only life opportunity for freedom from Japanese social pressures and for new experiences. The Japanese person may simply have "romance with a native" on his/her list of foreign adventures. You won't know what living in Japan is like, if you want to live there.
Meeting them in Japan:
- Pro: You'll know what Japan is like. If your partner is serious about you, eventually they will introduce you to their family. If the Japanese person is willing to be seen with you in Japan, then you know they are willing to accept you as part of their normal life.
- Con: You won't know whether the Japanese person could adapt to living abroad, if that's where you want to live. They might not have any real interest in your language or culture. They might just be attracted to your gaijin novelty.