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Best place to meet a Japanese lover?

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This topic was suggested by the "Desperate for love" thread.

For a non-Japanese, is it better to meet a Japanese lover abroad or in Japan?

Meeting them abroad:

- Pro: A Japanese traveling abroad is more likely to be broad-minded, interested in other languages and cultures, and will have experience living in your home country (assuming that's where you meet them), so has some idea what to expect if the relationship winds up going somewhere and you decide to live there. You'll know they aren't just attracted to your foreign novelty because they're around lots of other people like you.

- Con: You may not have the chance to meet their parents and friends. Japanese are highly likely to change once returning home, and may submit to family pressure and dump you. For many young Japanese who travel abroad, their experience may be their only life opportunity for freedom from Japanese social pressures and for new experiences. The Japanese person may simply have "romance with a native" on his/her list of foreign adventures. You won't know what living in Japan is like, if you want to live there.

Meeting them in Japan:

- Pro: You'll know what Japan is like. If your partner is serious about you, eventually they will introduce you to their family. If the Japanese person is willing to be seen with you in Japan, then you know they are willing to accept you as part of their normal life.

- Con: You won't know whether the Japanese person could adapt to living abroad, if that's where you want to live. They might not have any real interest in your language or culture. They might just be attracted to your gaijin novelty.
 

Damicci

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How about just going on with your daily life and meeting someone by chance. Why the concern with a Japanese lover? Why not just someone in general?
 
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Since this is a Japan forum, I leaped to the conclusion that this sub-forum just might, arguably, have something to do with international romance involving Japanese.
 

Damicci

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Well it does but you have to remember these is not in the Japanese related section of the forum either.
Many of us just wonder how healthy is this constant hunt to meet (bang) a Japanese girl. *shrug*
 
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You need to brush up on your reading skills. The issues I raised aren't relevant for those just wanting to get laid.
 

Ashikaga

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... You'll know they aren't just attracted to your foreign novelty because they're around lots of other people like you.

I would advise Japanese men & women to stay away from those who are just attracted to their foreign novelty no matter where they meet them, abroad or in Japan.
 

Damicci

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Also need to brush up on my editing skills. Either way, meet (bang) = meet or bang. But seeing as your interested in meeting a Japanese LOVER would note you your wanting to SELECTIVELY date an ethnicity because of that ethnicity. Dating regularly does involve sex. Not all but this day an age it's pretty regular.

So you can take the defensive all you want but you would be hard pressed to convince anyone else otherwise.
 

Putrefaction

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Someone should lock this topic. It's pretty bad.

But that's just my opinion.
 

Elizabeth

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Meet up through an academic or cultural homestay program - give rides to an exchange student - hang out with the host - think it's interesting to meet a new friend, language partner, pen pal, Japan girlfriend or boyfriend, dating partner.....even lover willing to work below surface misconceptions (such as in this thread...). :-;
 

bakaKanadajin

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Your pro and con for 'meeting them abroad' are contradictory. You said they'll def. want to be with you and 'not just for your nationality', but then the con says 'they'll dump you because you were a novelty'.

Additionally the OP is very general and lacks a steady premise. Are we talking about meeting up for casual romance, a long term relationship. .. ? How old are the people? Are they foreign nationals, 留学生、etc? The word lover itself has a real casual feel to it, you'd be better off saying 'partner' or 'spouse' if this was supposed to have been a serious topic.


Best place to meet and get laid by a Japanese girl if you're a foreigner:
Short answer: Roppongi or any Nigerian-run bar in Japan for that matter.

Best place to meet a Japanese girl and possibly develop a lasting relationship:
Short answer: Anywhere a Japanese girl exists, provided one of you speaks the other's language fairly fluently.
 

Damicci

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I guess i'll take the higher road try not to attack people who ask these types of questions and I apologize.
Many of the suggested opportunities are good options. I met my friends through Japanese classes and other Japanese friends. Also try to frequent restaurants with Japanese employees and befriend them.

Many Japanese are as subjective as this thread and may find your not the type of "English Speaker" they want to hang out with so remember that as well.
 
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