I'm writing this at about 1:00 AM, so it's technically not Friday night, but I think that helps make the point. A lot of people in college party on the weekends, or at least that is what is portrayed as socially "in" or acceptable amongst college kids. I don't do any of that, a bit turned off by the potential awkwardness of standing around drinking with people I don't know expecting to act myself. Both my roommates are home (with their girlfriends) and I'm stuck here alone again, staring at my computer all night. But I don't mind, I enjoy being left to myself and allowed to satiate any curiosity I have on the internet unabated. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with my friends, but I love being alone just as much. Who cares how other people spend their Friday nights, how I spend mine is good enough for me. So, what curiosity have I explored tonight?
Well, as some of you may know, I am half-Japanese and half-Caucasian, with the Caucasian roots extending into European countries such as Romania, Transylvania, Germany, Czechoslovakia, Austria and Poland all within my great-grandparents. I consider myself ethnically American since I was born and raised here, accustomed to the American way of life, or whatever you want to call it. Racially I consider myself as stated above. However, since my father was born and raised in America and my mother born and raised in Japan I feel a stronger affinity towards my Japanese heritage than any of my European ties (albeit saying my grandmother was born in Transylvania is pretty cool). Traveling to Japan to visit family several times throughout my life has only strengthened this tie. We did it so infrequently that going abroad almost had a mystical, dream-like quality to it. Visiting Japan was often something I would dream about, only to be disappointed when I woke up.
After the most recent visit about five or six years ago both my brother and I decided we would move to Japan. I don't know what about Japan drew us so strongly to want to move there. Maybe it's because we feel a certain sense of pride in our heritage. Maybe it's because we have a whole other family over there we rarely get to see. Maybe it's all superficial and topical, or maybe there is just no describing it; you like what you like. Whatever the reason, we both still to this day wish to move there, although my brother is resigned to the fact that his chances are much slimmer now. He is a graduate student with practically no Japanese skills in a field that is pretty unimpressive in terms of hiring foreigners. My late grandma said he should become a doctor because Japan needs doctors. Not sure how true that statement is today, but the whole world needs doctors.
Anyway, that's a very long introduction to my answer of what curiosity I explored. Moving to Japan has its obstacles that both my brother and I are very aware of. First, even though we consider ourselves racially Japanese, the Japanese do not. We both realize that we would never really be able to fully integrate into the Japanese way of life and society. I'm OK with that, however. How I grew up is who I am and I don't think I could ever give that up. We are what the Japanese would call "ハーフ," or "haafu," which is basically half-Japanese, half-foreign, although even then I'm pretty sure that is a stretch and we would just be referred to as "gaijin." In fact, I've had a fellow student who was from Mexico ask me if I was also from Mexico. I'm not really sure what most people view me as; you can decide for yourself by looking at a picture of me I posted in a previous blog post. Anyways, growing up half-way between two cultures was a bit weird for us. In America, my brother and I are not viewed as white, and in Japan, as my mother informed us, we are viewed as American. We jokingly said that we should be Pacific Islanders, as that would be half way between America and Japan. Admittedly, my closer friends don't think I look Asian at all. Even so, they'll make references to the fact that I am Japanese. One of my friends once asked me something pertaining to Japan, and already slightly irritated at something I forget, I said something along the lines of, "I don't know. Why would I know anymore than anyone else?" To which he replied, "Well you've been exposed to Japan more than we have and you have always had an interest in Japanese things." Both statements he made are true, and I had to admit defeat.
To me this just highlighted the, for lack of a better word, "clash of cultures" I sometimes had growing up. On one hand, I have a vested interest in Japan, but on the other I am a born-and-raised American, not used to that life style and not totally sure what to call myself. Along this same vein, topics like Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima/Nagasaki in history classes always made me feel uncomfortable. I'm not really sure why, but maybe it's because I just felt (naively) uneasy about how classmates might view me. "Does he think America was wrong? Does he think America should not have bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki?" Confirming my naivety was the fact that none of my classmates ever asked me those questions. Indeed, it was just my own insecurity about my identity. These were questions I seriously wrestled with, not sure how to approach it. I had a unique perspective on events like this, coming at it from two angles. I can see the issue and think of it as an American but also sympathize with the other side. For this I am glad that I was born half Japanese. However, I'm not really sure if I should even claim being part Japanese. Even now I'm a bit hesitant to state out loud my interest in Japan, afraid of all the negative baggage that sometimes comes along with it because of the current Japanese craze amongst teenagers in the US. If the topic ever arises of what nationality I am, I proudly say, "I am an American," and yet a small voice in my head says, "But I am also half Japanese."
Still, I do very much appreciate the benefits my Japanese heritage has afforded me. I firmly believe that it has given me a much richer outlook on life and people who are different from me, whether it's racial or ethnical. It's also given my brother and I certain opportunities we might not have other had. Visiting a different country is something I think everyone should do as it most definitely broadens your horizons. On a more material level, we both have our favorite Japanese musicians and bands alongside our American ones. A few of my favorites are WISE, Monkey Majik, Seamo, and B'z. Appropriately enough, WISE is half-Japanese, half-American and two of the members of Monkey Majik are Canadian. Since my mother is Japanese we ate Japanese meals often which I think has broadened my tastes, evident by the fact that I'm not a picky eater. She really is a great cook and her meals are to die for.
Nowadays I've been gaining some more interest in my Japanese heritage. I am taking introductory Japanese lessons and even mustered up the courage to join the "Japan Student Association" club. However, the first event is karaoke, so I doubt I'll be going to that. I'll be meeting up with a study abroad advisor on the 1st of October to discuss studying abroad in Japan next year. I looked up the exchange programs our school has with Japan and one that fit really well was Tohoku University. I'm a physics major and they are pretty strong on science and research. It's a year-long program and best of all no Japanese proficiency is required. I think it will be a good way to gauge whether I'm really serious about one day living in Japan. Even though it might not be easy, and being multiracial might have its downers, I would certainly much rather be half-Japanese, half-American than either alone.
tl;dr – I'm awesome.
Well, as some of you may know, I am half-Japanese and half-Caucasian, with the Caucasian roots extending into European countries such as Romania, Transylvania, Germany, Czechoslovakia, Austria and Poland all within my great-grandparents. I consider myself ethnically American since I was born and raised here, accustomed to the American way of life, or whatever you want to call it. Racially I consider myself as stated above. However, since my father was born and raised in America and my mother born and raised in Japan I feel a stronger affinity towards my Japanese heritage than any of my European ties (albeit saying my grandmother was born in Transylvania is pretty cool). Traveling to Japan to visit family several times throughout my life has only strengthened this tie. We did it so infrequently that going abroad almost had a mystical, dream-like quality to it. Visiting Japan was often something I would dream about, only to be disappointed when I woke up.
After the most recent visit about five or six years ago both my brother and I decided we would move to Japan. I don't know what about Japan drew us so strongly to want to move there. Maybe it's because we feel a certain sense of pride in our heritage. Maybe it's because we have a whole other family over there we rarely get to see. Maybe it's all superficial and topical, or maybe there is just no describing it; you like what you like. Whatever the reason, we both still to this day wish to move there, although my brother is resigned to the fact that his chances are much slimmer now. He is a graduate student with practically no Japanese skills in a field that is pretty unimpressive in terms of hiring foreigners. My late grandma said he should become a doctor because Japan needs doctors. Not sure how true that statement is today, but the whole world needs doctors.
Anyway, that's a very long introduction to my answer of what curiosity I explored. Moving to Japan has its obstacles that both my brother and I are very aware of. First, even though we consider ourselves racially Japanese, the Japanese do not. We both realize that we would never really be able to fully integrate into the Japanese way of life and society. I'm OK with that, however. How I grew up is who I am and I don't think I could ever give that up. We are what the Japanese would call "ハーフ," or "haafu," which is basically half-Japanese, half-foreign, although even then I'm pretty sure that is a stretch and we would just be referred to as "gaijin." In fact, I've had a fellow student who was from Mexico ask me if I was also from Mexico. I'm not really sure what most people view me as; you can decide for yourself by looking at a picture of me I posted in a previous blog post. Anyways, growing up half-way between two cultures was a bit weird for us. In America, my brother and I are not viewed as white, and in Japan, as my mother informed us, we are viewed as American. We jokingly said that we should be Pacific Islanders, as that would be half way between America and Japan. Admittedly, my closer friends don't think I look Asian at all. Even so, they'll make references to the fact that I am Japanese. One of my friends once asked me something pertaining to Japan, and already slightly irritated at something I forget, I said something along the lines of, "I don't know. Why would I know anymore than anyone else?" To which he replied, "Well you've been exposed to Japan more than we have and you have always had an interest in Japanese things." Both statements he made are true, and I had to admit defeat.
To me this just highlighted the, for lack of a better word, "clash of cultures" I sometimes had growing up. On one hand, I have a vested interest in Japan, but on the other I am a born-and-raised American, not used to that life style and not totally sure what to call myself. Along this same vein, topics like Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima/Nagasaki in history classes always made me feel uncomfortable. I'm not really sure why, but maybe it's because I just felt (naively) uneasy about how classmates might view me. "Does he think America was wrong? Does he think America should not have bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki?" Confirming my naivety was the fact that none of my classmates ever asked me those questions. Indeed, it was just my own insecurity about my identity. These were questions I seriously wrestled with, not sure how to approach it. I had a unique perspective on events like this, coming at it from two angles. I can see the issue and think of it as an American but also sympathize with the other side. For this I am glad that I was born half Japanese. However, I'm not really sure if I should even claim being part Japanese. Even now I'm a bit hesitant to state out loud my interest in Japan, afraid of all the negative baggage that sometimes comes along with it because of the current Japanese craze amongst teenagers in the US. If the topic ever arises of what nationality I am, I proudly say, "I am an American," and yet a small voice in my head says, "But I am also half Japanese."
Still, I do very much appreciate the benefits my Japanese heritage has afforded me. I firmly believe that it has given me a much richer outlook on life and people who are different from me, whether it's racial or ethnical. It's also given my brother and I certain opportunities we might not have other had. Visiting a different country is something I think everyone should do as it most definitely broadens your horizons. On a more material level, we both have our favorite Japanese musicians and bands alongside our American ones. A few of my favorites are WISE, Monkey Majik, Seamo, and B'z. Appropriately enough, WISE is half-Japanese, half-American and two of the members of Monkey Majik are Canadian. Since my mother is Japanese we ate Japanese meals often which I think has broadened my tastes, evident by the fact that I'm not a picky eater. She really is a great cook and her meals are to die for.
Nowadays I've been gaining some more interest in my Japanese heritage. I am taking introductory Japanese lessons and even mustered up the courage to join the "Japan Student Association" club. However, the first event is karaoke, so I doubt I'll be going to that. I'll be meeting up with a study abroad advisor on the 1st of October to discuss studying abroad in Japan next year. I looked up the exchange programs our school has with Japan and one that fit really well was Tohoku University. I'm a physics major and they are pretty strong on science and research. It's a year-long program and best of all no Japanese proficiency is required. I think it will be a good way to gauge whether I'm really serious about one day living in Japan. Even though it might not be easy, and being multiracial might have its downers, I would certainly much rather be half-Japanese, half-American than either alone.
tl;dr – I'm awesome.
