10 Surprising Things about Parenting in Japan

[Davey]

Found this interesting article I wanted to share.

Besides my own childhood experiences in Holland, I have never lived outside of Japan with my kids so it's a bit difficult to compare etc with how parenting goes in other countries.

What are your thoughts, what's different from parenting in Japan compared with other countries?

[h=3]10 Surprising Things about Parenting in Japan[/h]

When they first moved back, she was in heaven: "The food is good; the people are so nice; the pace is slow. I thought, this is amazing!" Having lived in Japan now for over three years, she's started to experience some of the challenges, as well. "It's very different to be a mom here―in some hard ways," she says. "There's so much pressure to fit in, versus being an individual. But, on the flip side, the close community provides so much safety. Motoki can go outside and play and I don't have to watch him. He can trust people, whereas in New York he had to learn from an early age to doubt. Here, everyone is family, and everyone is aware of him."

On pregnancy: I'm six and a half months pregnant right now and have been going to a Japanese doctor. In New York, when I was pregnant with Motoki, my doctor warned me, "You can't eat sushi, coffee, alcohol or raw cheese." She gave me special vitamins. My Japanese doctor says nothing about any of that! ...

On parties: When we go to a get-together with other families, men and women are totally separate. The women are usually in the kitchen cooking food and watching the kids, and the men are in another room drinking beer...

On food: ...there isn't labeling like in the U.S. So when you buy eggs or vegetables, you don't know if they're organic or not. My husband thinks it's because all the food is good quality, but it frustrates me not to know...

Read the whole article

 

[Mark of Zorro]

Got to point out the writer's very neutral tone. Not saying I like it, just that she has a skill in pulling it off. There are things here in Japan that I find simply cold and inexcusable, and as such, I can't pull of a neutral tone.. Like the pressure to fit in and the disdain for anything different. Its malarkey. Its a straight jacket. And its going to bite Japan right in the @$$ the second the crap hits the fan and the society has to make quick adjustments.

Babysitting is one of those things that really grates. I had several baby sitters when I was a kid. Some I went to their house, and some came to mine. I got to meet and have close interaction with a variety of people because of this, like the family that had seven boys, all red-heads. The mother was quite the work-aholic, and if not, no way to keep up. I learned things there. I even went to Sunday school, and it was an experience that opened my eyes to why I should NOT be a Christian.

I would like to have a babysitter for my son. And not even a serious babysitter who will be alone with him, but just a girl old enough to know up from down to keep an eye on him and play with him and teach him things while I do yard work and work on the house. Such as it is, I can't do anything because if my wife is not working, she is cooking or washing clothes or whatnot. I cannot do anything with a kid in tow with all the sharp objects and chemical stuff (like paint) I have to deal with, so I get nothing done. I would be happy to pay for such a babysitter, but if I bring it up, its like I spouted eye-stalks.

Heck, even just going in a neighbor's house is like some almighty privilege. You would think they were hiding bodies in there. When I was a kid I was all over town, playing or talking in many neighbor's houses. When I was about seven, I used to hang out with an old lady my mother barely knew. We went for walks, she gave me food and drink at her place, she taught me things. THAT is having a community. A bunch of conformist people blindly obeying norms and guidelines, who shun variety and offer you cold greetings and lock their door as you pass by is NOT a community. It might be physically safe, but mentally and socially its a hell hole.

For all the niceties and words, the truth is, under the surface, this country is a giant icicle of selfish detachment. I am concerned for my son growing up in this muck.

The only reason I can get by is because I have always been basically a loner. Still I recognize the importance of variety and genuine social interaction when growing up, and Japan needs it really badly.

 

[shonanrepresent]

For all the niceties and words, the truth is, under the surface, this country is a giant icicle of selfish detachment. I am concerned for my son growing up in this muck.

The only reason I can get by is because I have always been basically a loner. Still I recognize the importance of variety and genuine social interaction when growing up, and Japan needs it really badly.

You are being very myopic.

Japan was precisely what you are condemning it as not decades prior - neighbours with open doors et al. Community-level familiarity and togetherness. Vestiges are left today - the whole society as one giant 'icicle' is still a BS call on your part.

I grew up in Canada. We too had open doors in our neighborhood and weaved in and out of one another's houses and found it completely normal to go over to 'Uncle' Jim's next door to borrow salt or the Brar's on the other side for some ghee. None of this exists anymore.

False niceties and BS politeness glossing over isolation exist in abundance in the Western world, too. Japan infact has an advantage here - it is not burdened by eight centuries of white domination over the world and the resulting latent white superiority complex that, in addition to said societal isolation, also has racial hatred and warmongering thrown in the mix. In your Holland, for example, your government still officially 'mourns' the loss of their 'beautiful colony' Indonesia (hah!) to the Japanese every year.

Western countries are as lonely and isolated under a thin veneer of BS fakery as Japan. Japan, at least, has no Anders Breivik, or Ann Coulter, or Robert Spencer, adding another element altogether to this: hatred.

 

[nahadef]

You are being very myopic.

Japan was precisely what you are condemning it as not decades prior - neighbours with open doors et al. Community-level familiarity and togetherness. Vestiges are left today - the whole society as one giant 'icicle' is still a BS call on your part.

I grew up in Canada. We too had open doors in our neighborhood and weaved in and out of one another's houses and found it completely normal to go over to 'Uncle' Jim's next door to borrow salt or the Brar's on the other side for some ghee. None of this exists anymore.

False niceties and BS politeness glossing over isolation exist in abundance in the Western world, too. Japan infact has an advantage here - it is not burdened by eight centuries of white domination over the world and the resulting latent white superiority complex that, in addition to said societal isolation, also has racial hatred and warmongering thrown in the mix. In your Holland, for example, your government still officially 'mourns' the loss of their 'beautiful colony' Indonesia (hah!) to the Japanese every year.

Western countries are as lonely and isolated under a thin veneer of BS fakery as Japan. Japan, at least, has no Anders Breivik, or Ann Coulter, or Robert Spencer, adding another element altogether to this: hatred.

I think you're a little confused in your post, as Zorro is not the thread starter, Davey, who is from Holland.

In regards to parenting, I don't see how "white domination" is an issue.

For the rest, Holland lost Indonesia to Holland. After World War II, the country returned to Indonesia, fought for a bit against the locals, and the Dutch, tired from World War II and being occupied by Germany, demanded their government pull out. If someone in government there 'mourns' that, well, some people are nationalist, and they can be drawn to politics. Same thing in Japan, there are Japanese politicians who want to reframe World War II to make Japanese heroes (I don't think that either America or Japan can be classified as 'heroes', for the record). It's a reflection on those individuals, and not necessarily a symptom of the country's problems. You live in Calgary, and in no way would I hold you responsible for the statements of the politicians of Alberta, much less someone in parliament.

Japan has its own Ann Coulters, most definitely, but you probably either don't speak Japanese or follow things closely enough to notice. For example, look into Tokyo's mayor Ishihara as an example of a loud public racist who got lots of votes. Every country in the world is racist if you scratch the surface, not just white ones.
Shintaro Ishihara - Wikipedia

I don't want to drag this off topic, but I do want to say that the military history of the West had very little to do with how I was raised, in Canada. I agree with you that people used to be very comfortable with their neighbours (I was, in the 1980s) and that they aren't so much now. That's a sad trend.