How to approach Japanese women?

[greentea]

Ok I am a caucasian male,ive always dated asian women,however I really never dated Japanese girls.I think Japanese girls are really cute and wouldnt mind it though! because of cultural differences,what the is proper/polite way to approach a Japanese girl that I think is cute? any pointers?

 

[KirinMan]

Ok I am a caucasian male,ive always dated asian women,however I really never dated Japanese girls.I think Japanese girls are really cute and wouldnt mind it though! because of cultural differences,what the is proper/polite way to approach a Japanese girl that I think is cute? any pointers?

First off welcome to the board .

Next, this probably works with any female, but since you are asking about Japanese women I would first suggest not coming on too strong.

Be a gentleman, get her to talk about herself and what she is interested in. Try to speak some Japanese but don't try to be a language leech.

Try to find common ground between you. Don't just agree with everything that she says just because you are interested in her. That btw is good advice for any relationship.

Find out if she is interested in things that you like. Communicate, communicate, and communicate some more. Listening is also communicating too.

Hmm that's all I can think of right now, maybe others here can add a few words of advice as well.

 

[Ewok85]

Theres a difference now?

 

[greentea]

Do alot of Japanese girls like white guys?

 

[KirinMan]

Theres a difference now?

Do you mean between Japanese females and "other's"?

 

[greentea]

Do you mean between Japanese females and "other's"?

well theres no doubt there are cultural differences between the different Asian nationalities.Thats why i was asking if there is a certain way to appraoch Japanese girls.

 

[Ewok85]

I think the only answer that this thread, and any others like it is "everyone is different" - there is no exact answer, and its no different anywhere.

 

[undrentide]

Do alot of Japanese girls like white guys?

Some do, some don't. It's up to personal preference and taste, just like other things.

But are you happy if a Japanese girl approaches you just because you're caucasian? Doesn't it sound as if anyone will do? The only the value and importance of you for her is being caucasian?!
Likewise, if you approach a Japanese girl not because what she is (i.e. you find her cute, charming, friendly, etc.) but just because she is Japanese, she would not be best pleased because it looks as if anyone will do for you as far as the person is Japanese.

If you like a girl and she happens to be Japanese, then it's a different story.
It will be a good idea to follow what Obeika suggested - he's giving very a very good advice.

 

[greentea]

Thats true,everyone IS different,but I think culture comes into it a little.For example,I think Japanese women are less open minded to interracial dating as say filipino or chinese.Just my opinion from what I have noticed.

Some do, some don't. It's up to personal preference and taste, just like other things.
But are you happy if a Japanese girl approaches you just because you're caucasian? Doesn't it sound as if anyone will do? The only the value and importance of you for her is being caucasian?!
Likewise, if you approach a Japanese girl not because what she is (i.e. you find her cute, charming, friendly, etc.) but just because she is Japanese, she would not be best pleased because it looks as if anyone will do for you as far as the person is Japanese.
If you like a girl and she happens to be Japanese, then it's a different story.
It will be a good idea to follow what Obeika suggested - he's giving very a very good advice.

ok so lets say I see a cute Japanese girl at the mall and I want to talk to her,how should I go about doing so? give me some examples

 

[KirinMan]

If you like a girl and she happens to be Japanese, then it's a different story.
It will be a good idea to follow what Obeika suggested - he's giving very a very good advice.

Thank you.

ok so lets say I see a cute Japanese girl at the mall and I want to talk to her,how should I go about doing so? give me some examples

Could I ask you a question here....

How would you approach a Mexican girl, or let's say an English girl? Also how will you know she is Japanese by just looking at her? I mean there are all sorts of females in malls across the US that look Japanese but aren't.

I would think pretty much the same way.
(1) Go up to her and say "Hi!".
(2) Go to the nearest flower shop, buy a single colored flower, but not a white carnation. Take it to her and say "Hi!" I got this for you because I thought you looked cute. Or some other appropriate introduction.

(3) Go to the jewelry store and get the biggest diamond engagement ring you can afford and run over to her get down on one knee and propose to her. I'm sure that would get her attention.

(Wait don't do that she might get scared and call the cops. Just joking ok)

Seriously here now, be yourself and do what you would normally do introducing yourself to another female. Then follow through with what I suggested in my first reply to you.

Good Luck.

 

[marsans]

With all the Japanese girls that I know, it was all about just being respectful, like any other girl you may like. In my experience I haven't noticed any difference in "courting" Japanese women than with Americans or Italians.

 

[yukio_michael]

My internet is out for a week, and this is what I come back to... let me put it to you bluntly, if you don't know how to talk to women in particular, you won't know how to talk to Japanese women...

All I'll say is, with Japanese or any ethnic girl, the deal breaker is you going up to say ZOMG LEIK I LOVE JAPANESE CULTURE, CAN WE SEX?... That's just predatory race-stalking, and creepy... nobody wants to think that they are your FETISH.

Japanese girls, are NOT Japanese girls, they are girls, women, and as soon as you stop thinking about them as if they were some form of foreign car that you had to learn special skills to operate the better. Cultures are different, that comes LATER--- but this whole, "how do I pick up Japanese women" schtick just makes me soo, sooh tired.

 

[KirinMan]

Thats true,everyone IS different,but I think culture comes into it a little.For example,I think Japanese women are less open minded to interracial dating as say filipino or chinese.Just my opinion from what I have noticed.

Please be very careful making generalizations and assumptions, reading what people here have written so far and learning that you may be incorrect in your assumptions is a good start to learning something new.

 

[marsans]

It really is plain and simple women are women, they may like shopping or they may like cars. This can happen in any country in the world. Your really pigeon holing yourself if you impose limits on Japanese women, because you'll miss all the other great gals passing you by!

 

[GodEmperorLeto]

While a lot of this stuff is common-sense know-how, there is also one thing to consider: learn how to play the Game. The Game varies from country to country, and the rules are always different, but not disintuitively so. The best thing I can suggest you do is get out there and talk to people. Observe how people meet and match up. Talk to friends about the rules and how it works.

If you can't play the Game in your home culture, though, you probably won't have much success learning to play it in any other culture.

Now, just as a general disclaimer, when I say "the Game", I am not referring to being a player, so much as being good at flirting, initiating contact, showing interest, and basically doing everything possible to maximize your chances to develop mutual attraction and interest. I'm not advocating one-night-stands. You can play "the Game" to get a one-night stand, or you can slowly, carefully, meaningfully play "the Game" and win that girl that you've been dreaming about since Sixth Grade.

For more information on "the Game" and how to play (and how not to play), I'd suggest you rent movies like The Dao of Steve and Swingers.

 

[nice gaijin]

I'd tell you but I lost the manual.

 

[bakaKanadajin]

From my experiences in Japan and my language exchange experiences here, I think the one thing I notice with Japanese girls is that even if they don't like you they'll appear very friendly. Some will like you and some will not, but you'll rarely be able to tell the difference during a first meeting. Maybe others can, but I certainly can't. I'm accustomed to Western women, who will express their interest or disinterest quite clearly. It's easy therefore for a gaijin to assume that a Japanese woman who's simply being polite is interested in them, when in fact she may be humoring you until her moment of imminent escape.

If I really had to make a broad sweep and generalize here, from my experience, I'd say Japanese women are attracted first to a good character, because the gaijin I've seen them with are just normal looking, not the kind of guys you look at and say 'hey that guys gotta be an underwear model'. How much of your character you're able to communicate depends on both your language abilities, I never had luck meeting anyone till I learned some Japanese.

Ultimately though, everyone's different, and its impossible to say for certain 'what Japanese women like'. There are as many answers to that as there are Japanese women.

 

[ArmandV]

I'd tell you but I lost the manual.

I saw a copy on eBay the other day, but I can't find it again.

 

[yukio_michael]

I saw a copy on eBay the other day, but I can't find it again.

I'm one of those people who never read the manual... In fact, I think they forgot to include one... I should phone the Ministry of Love...

 

[Damicci]

I hate you


Is what I want to say............But Yukio took the words out of my mouth.
1. You come on a forum asking for help on how to pick up women.
2. You obviously don't know how to pick up women.
3. It's not a sport. There is no strategies and techniques unless your doing it for fun ie date sporting....or w/e it's called.

I am not the end all resource for picking up women I don't know it all. But what I have learned through success and rejection works. You should try it sometime.

Edit: Yea a harsh opening...blah blah...be helpful but sometimes.......i tell you...."to the moon Alice!"

 

[a51ts4]

Please be very careful making generalizations and assumptions, reading what people here have written so far and learning that you may be incorrect in your assumptions is a good start to learning something new.

I agree. There is always more behind what you see.

 

[GodEmperorLeto]

Oh, come on guys. There definitely are techniques and strategies that people can use. Understanding how people think and what motivates people to do things can enhance your dating portfolio immensely.

But, in retrospect, these techniques are not very useful in starting a meaningful relationship, really. I mean, now that I look back on my own experiences, I think that I actually did the best for myself when I dropped "the Game" entirely, and started acting from the heart.

Alright, I guess. Forget everything I said earlier. It's complete B.S. if you want to have something meaningful.

Oh by the way, I found the Manual.

 

[maushan3]

While a lot of this stuff is common-sense know-how, there is also one thing to consider: learn how to play the Game. The Game varies from country to country, and the rules are always different, but not disintuitively so.

This is very true, but this dude is from the U.S. of A. so that Japanese girl might be from other country since it is a country of immigrants, like someone here stated, but this does not matter much... She might be Japanese or Chinese or any other ethnic group but that does not count since they might be second generation and therefore they might be 'Americanized' and probably adopted American Culture as their main one, rather than that of their ethnic background.

Mauricio

 

[KirinMan]

Oh, come on guys. There definitely are techniques and strategies that people can use. Understanding how people think and what motivates people to do things can enhance your dating portfolio immensely.

What could be happening here from reading some of the responses is that people forget what it is like to talk to or get to know a person of the opposite sex. In this case I think, I don't know for sure as the OP didn't put their age in their profile, I am guessing we are responding to one teenager's honest request for information.

I also think, hope, that that greentea is sharp enough to shift through the chaff and get to the information that he is looking for.

It could be my imagination but this does appear to be a topic that many people are interested in, because they have little knowledge or experience with members of the opposite sex, particularly people from different countries or cultures that are seemingly very different from their own.

It is easy to understand why there are people that have questions like this, to disperse the misconceptions that they may have and to get an honest opinion from people about what their experiences where.

My Dad always told me, and as I tell my kids, "The only "dumb" question is the one you don't ask" .

I wish people would think about that and look back to when they were "younger" and remember how they felt the first time they met someone from another country that they were attracted to, that is if they were fortunate enough to have that experience.

 

[greentea]

Ironically enough I have only dated Asian women in my life time.But Ive never dated a Japanese,so thats why I am so curious how Japanese women are.

I realize everyone is different,that goes for any race,but I think someone's cultural upbringing DOES affect the way they approach life,which I think brought me to my original question.

Im not a bad looking guy,Ive dated cute asian girls before,but it always seems like Japanese girls wont look at you or smile back at you if your American/White.I dont know,thats my experience anyways.I dont seem to have that problem with other Asian nationalities.Perhaps its my own perception of the situation and Japanese girls are just as friendly as other Asians,but in my personal experience/perception,it just doesnt appear like Japanese girls are outwardly flirty like some other Asians.
again,I know everyone is different,I am just speaking from my personal experiences.☝