Why do so many foreigners marry Japanese women?

[taehyun]

Just a guess

There are many wonderful Japanese girls,I agree. There are many great Japanese guys too I've seen many Japanese guys dating foreign women, but very few of these couples get married.
Two days ago I read an article about the international marriage,and there were Japanese wife/foreign husband couples as well as
freign wife/Japanese husband. In the first type, husbands from Asian and non-Asian countries were nearly the same number, while in the second type the foreign wives were predominantly Asian.
For my thesis I studied closely the history of the marital rites in Japan,and I can say that the patriline in the Japanese kinship is cruisal for the Japanese society. This concept is typical for the samurai (bushi) society,and unfortunately has remained till now.
Briefly said, as long as the main family line is kept by the male members, no problem for the girls to marry non-Asian, but it is essential that the children of the son aren't of mixed blood, but remain at least Asian looking.
I have my presonal reasons to think so, and this is my personal opinion, but I may very well be wrong.

 

[kooo]

Yikes, some of the generalizations in this thread.

There are a lot more foreigners in Japan now, so it makes sense that there are more and more interracial marriages. I don't think it's anything specific about Japanese women or men, just that a lot of people are drawn to Japan now because it's getting more and more popular in the west, and while they're there they happen to fall in love with someone.

 

[Aerain]

I don't mind interracial relations, but why is it that 90% of the time only asian female are involved?? I would really like to marry an asian women one day, I just hope that I will be able to date at least one and do my best to have her marry me.

 

[leonmarino]

I would really like to marry an asian women one day, I just hope that I will be able to date at least one and do my best to have her marry me.

I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure relationships and marriages based on mutual liking and compatibility of personal characteristics work better than one based on racial characteristics.

Good luck in the rest of your life.

 

[Aerain]

I am really sorry it just happens that it really never worked with any white women and it not like if white women were interrested in me either... It just happen that I seem to be more secure with a women of the same nationality...

 

[Glenski]

People are attracted to many things, including physical shape, facial features, race, personality, etc.

Marry the person, not the attributes. My Japanese wife says she often forgets I'm American and just considers me her husband first and an American second. I do the same in reverse with her. She's a woman first, and Japanese second.

 

[KirinMan]

It just happen that I seem to be more secure with a women of the same nationality...

Which is great too, be secure in knowing who you are and if you are fortunate enough to find the right person for you be happy with who that person is, not what nationality or race she may be.

If you get too tied up considering the race of the person you never know the "right" one may just pass you by.

 

[Ewok85]

I haven't read this thread, but are we ignoring the plain and simple facts of interracial marriages in Japan - that being that an overwhelming statistical majority of them are between Japanese Men and Foreign Women and the overall rate has changed very little in recent years.

 

[KirinMan]

an overwhelming statistical majority of them are between Japanese Men and Foreign Women and the overall rate has changed very little in recent years.

Are you sure about that?


I was surprised, I found this information after a bit of research, ewok you are quite right here.

Also, the ratio of Japanese men marrying foreign women:Japanese women marrying foreign men has increased from about 3:1 in 1995 to 4:1 in 2005, evidence that may speak of an even more noticeable ﾂ"diasporaﾂ" effect among men. Nevertheless, the growing number of international marriages could indeed be caused by the palpable divide between the sexes

Ministry of Health releases marriage stats
and
ﾂ債･ﾋ?ｷﾅ陳渉絶?昶?堙個構ﾂ青ｬﾅ?窶楪坂?｡

 

[maushan3]

I don't mind interracial relations, but why is it that 90% of the time only asian female are involved?? I would really like to marry an asian women one day, I just hope that I will be able to date at least one and do my best to have her marry me.

Like someone in this thread said, one shall not look for a partner based on nationality, ethnicity, etc; As for you saying that you connect with women your nationality a lot better and not with white women, I can only infer that it has only been luck. Thing is, people don't generally act the same way due to their nationality. So, yeah, love is a thing that sould not be looked for, but rather just wait for it to happen.

Mauricio

 

[Ewok85]

I don't mind interracial relations, but why is it that 90% of the time only asian female are involved?

As I've already said, that is completely wrong, at least when in the context of Japan (this being a forum about Japan and all).

When you get a group of foreigners together, in Japan, and talk about relationships, a large majority will be about Foreign Men and Japanese Women because of how the statistics break down, when in actual fact the complete opposite exists - while your own experiences may provide one point of view and outcome, the reality is completely different because of the narrow constraints that you have to work with to start with If that makes sense...

 

[Glenski]

ricecake,
I presume there is a reason the word "banned" is under your name.

Too much racial stereotyping in your posts to make sense.

 

[KirinMan]

ricecake,
I presume there is a reason the word "banned" is under your name.
Too much racial stereotyping in your posts to make sense.

Glenski I hope you realize that you are responding to a post that is from October of 2006?!?!

As I've already said, that is completely wrong, at least when in the context of Japan (this being a forum about Japan and all).
When you get a group of foreigners together, in Japan, and talk about relationships, a large majority will be about Foreign Men and Japanese Women because of how the statistics break down, when in actual fact the complete opposite exists - while your own experiences may provide one point of view and outcome, the reality is completely different because of the narrow constraints that you have to work with to start with If that makes sense...

It makes a lot of sense, plus I don't think there are that many Japanese men that are married to foreign women posting on this board, so it is rather easy for many to make the assumption, as I did until today, that it was the opposite.

 

[Glenski]

Thanks for opening my eyes and cleaning of my specs. Guilty as charged. Slinking out of the room, hoping not too many noticed...

 

[KirinMan]

Thanks for opening my eyes and cleaning of my specs. Guilty as charged. Slinking out of the room, hoping not too many noticed...

Sorry, if you are the same Glenski from "another" board one that is more aligned with English teaching, you are one of the "good" ones and always provide honest thoughtful comments.

 

[Aerain]

As I've already said, that is completely wrong, at least when in the context of Japan (this being a forum about Japan and all).
When you get a group of foreigners together, in Japan, and talk about relationships, a large majority will be about Foreign Men and Japanese Women because of how the statistics break down, when in actual fact the complete opposite exists - while your own experiences may provide one point of view and outcome, the reality is completely different because of the narrow constraints that you have to work with to start with If that makes sense...

Ah sorry, the title of the thread really mislead me, at least in the context of Japan, I think I just worried a bit too much, the thing that made me unconfortable was that some women, like my sister for exemple, never date asian males even though they met a lot of men in their lives. It's just discouraging/worrisome to think that some women, expecially asian women avoids asian men in their relationships...

 

[kirei_na_me]

If you get too tied up considering the race of the person you never know the "right" one may just pass you by.

So true, so true! I always thought "different" was better. I was always so attracted to different nationalities/races. Just had to have something exotic. Big mistake for me.

I have since found out that the right one was right in my backyard, almost literally!

 

[Oats]

If its of interest to anyone, here in London (probably the most racially diverse city in the world interestingly) you often see inter-racial couples, however, in the teen age group you almost never see an asian (as in chinese, korean, japanese) girl or guy with a non-asian. Just intersting.

 

[GodEmperorLeto]

I'm going to speak from personal experience here.

I've dated a number of American women. I've dated only a few non-Americans, and most of them happen to be Asian, but that, by no means, indicates that I am a "rice chaser".

I do not mean this to be a rant against American women, so with that disclaimer, I will continue. To my experience, many American women have been raised by their parents and their culture to have an attitude of entitlement and empowerment (often at the expense of males), coupled with a propensity of never accepting guilt or blame for anything, instead shifting any culpability onto the male.

A fantastic example of this sort of thinking is found in a certain Miss "Divalion's" livejournal post: No More Mr. Niceguy, as well as books by feminist authors such as Barbara Whitehead's Why There Are No Good Men Left.

I've also noticed that American women are, in general, more likely to sleep with a dirty, cheauvanistic French or Italian guy than a clean, articulate, intelligent Arab or Asian guy.

All in all, after spending years dating American girls, I'm just no longer attracted to them. This includes Asian Americans. In my opinion, if you are born in America, you are American, regardless of your skin-color or ancestry.

So I've dated mostly girls from Taiwan and Japan (although I've also dated a Columbian, a Brazilian, and a Turkish girl). I've found that, while women are the same the world over (just as I assume men are), the cultural outlook that they have is different.

All-in-all, the nicest girls I've dated were Taiwanese, hands down. I've noticed Japanese girls are also very different inside from their outward projection (but it seems this is true of Japanese people in general, due to their culture). As a straightforward American, this can be difficult for me to deal with, and has caused some problems. Japanese girls (on the surface) seem very cliquish, but you have to get beneath the outward appearance.

I will admit that I have a decided preference for Chinese/Taiwanese and Japanese women, but a lot of that has to do with my fascination with their cultures. I especially enjoy being around foreign women who are interested in Western/American history or literature (although they are rare birds indeed).

In addition, I feel like American women generally don't appreciate nice guys or gentlemen. On the other hand, some foreign women do, especially ones who come from cultures that tend to tolerate cheauvanistism more than America.

Like I said, these are simply impressions I've gotten from the experiences I've had, they are by no means factual. I've only dated American girls generally from the Philadelphia and New York areas. The foreigners who come to study here also represent a very small and haphazard sample of their respective populations. I try to keep an open mind, and although I am, generally, unattracted to American women anymore, there's always a possibility that I'll meet one tomorrow who knocks my socks off. I only posted this because my experiences may shed some light on why some American men are seeking out foreigners instead of American women.

 

[SushiShin]

Its normal isn't it?

Asian women(Japanese, Filipina, Korean..) are far way better than other women and believe me since i have been here in belgium i stepped into hell here, belgian like belgian girls belgian girls like maroccan boys marrocan women only like muslem people and asian people are divide into the Chinese+Korean and Japanese+Philipphine people.

Allmost every person that i've spoken with saids that he/she has more feeling into asiatic people then their own kind, but sometimes he/she won't commit it

Asian people are different than Europe/America and Africa/Middle-East people they are just a kind of its own, i also adore asian women/girls why??

I don't simply know its just its in my blood. and i know it will never change even when the most beautiful girl (from another continent) comes sit next to me i still prefer the asiatic girl.

 

[EdZiomek]

Asian Women, Sense of Family

It is totally unfair of me to say that one culture is better than another. Shame on me. But in the specifics of marriage, I have advised my sons "don't marry an American woman". Why...(and I agree with many of EmperorLeto's comments), the American woman almost contemplates divorce before marriage. Is the man a good marrying type, can he get me credit cards and a big house, and can he afford me in the divorce?

Yes, that is an over-simplification, but God have I lived this problem!

With the American family under major stress today, an American woman is deluged with the temptations of divorce and adultery, as is the American man. I think the adultery percentage is 40-60% of admitted affairs by American women during marriage, and 60-70% by the American man.

Virtually every other culture offers one other huge asset, and that is the sense of family that the foreign women bring to the American man. We are not used to grandmothers and grandchildren and husbands and wives living in close proximity.

Asian women are considered a wonderful wife by American standards, as are South American women, and Mediterranean women. Wherever there is a strong sense of family, the American man usually gains so much more in the marriage bargain, that is my admittedly flawed opinion.

 

[maushan3]

Asian women(Japanese, Filipina, Korean..) are far way better than other women and believe me since i have been here in belgium i stepped into hell here, belgian like belgian girls belgian girls like maroccan boys marrocan women only like muslem people and asian people are divide into the Chinese+Korean and Japanese+Philipphine people.

No person is 'better' than another, just I'd say, different. We, men, like women who will respect us and such and in that way, the Asian women you just mentioned is better for us.

Asian women are considered a wonderful wife by American standards, as are South American women, and Mediterranean women. Wherever there is a strong sense of family, the American man usually gains so much more in the marriage bargain, that is my admittedly flawed opinion.

That opinion is not flawed, it is perfect. Like you said, where there's not a strong sense of family, people generally tend to look for themselves rather than for the good of the family.

Mauricio

 

[GodEmperorLeto]

That opinion is not flawed, it is perfect. Like you said, where there's not a strong sense of family, people generally tend to look for themselves rather than for the good of the family.

My sentiments exactly.

As a side note, I stumbled across a humorous internet meme/photoshopped picture comparing "American females" to "Non-American females". The "American female" had an aggressive facial expression and was jamming her middle-finger into the camera, while the "Non-American female" was your typical meek Asian girl. The caption for the "Non-American female" read something like this:

Sure I'd like to have coffee. Is Thursday at 7 pm okay?

The caption for the American female read:

You can kiss my cure a--! You know what your problem is? You can't handle a strong woman! I'm a b---h princess from h--l and you aren't fit to polish my tiara! Etc, etc, etc.

The author of the pic was obviously rather embittered and cynical, but his satirical work has a definitive ring of truth to it that I cannot deny.

I'd post a link to the picture, but the image site that has it consistantly changes the pic names (which seem to be randomly assigned numbers) and they don't link very well for very long. Suffice it to say, if you go to macrochan and look up the "mysogyny" pics, you'll find it. It's pretty obvious.

 

[leonmarino]

I don't think American women in general are evil. I mean, some of you pretty much infer that, in my view. American women are different, that might be true most probably, but that's because American culture is different than any other. People raised in a certain culture tend to share some behavioral characteristics, and some while some people like that, some people don't.

I don't think there's anything wrong with any mind-set a certain culture brings. I have the idea that, this being a Japan-forum, there's a huge positive bias towards Japanese women. Sure, there's nothing wrong with personal preferences, but it's unfair to describe American women as unintelligent or unfaithful.

On the contrary, one could say that Japanese women are not suited for relationships. Reason I could think of (and have thought of) are that in general, Japanese women tend not to speak their mind (gaman), which is very important for me as a Dutch person. Another thing is the conformity to gender roles (especially in work settings); in general Japanese women seem to be inable to break these discriminating patterns. I hate it when these kind of things happen.

But is that because these Japanese women are weak or stupid? No, it is embedded in their minds because of Japanese society and culture. It is often just the way things are. This does not make them "better" or "worse" than anyone else. If you fancy that, be my guest and be obsessed about it. If you prefer American women instead, go ahead. If you don't care about race/culture and rather look at more personal characteristics, be like me and enjoy life optimally.

 

[KirinMan]

On the contrary, one could say that Japanese women are not suited for relationships. Reason I could think of (and have thought of) are that in general, Japanese women tend not to speak their mind (gaman), which is very important for me as a Dutch person. Another thing is the conformity to gender roles (especially in work settings); in general Japanese women seem to be inable to break these discriminating patterns. I hate it when these kind of things happen.

You make some excellent points here in this post.

However, and I do understand the point you are trying to make here, one could ask you who are you refering to when saying they are not suited to relationships for the reasons that you gave?

I could come out and say that I find those things very attractive to me, or make a generalized statement like, but that is what Japanese men are attracted to.

But is that because these Japanese women are weak or stupid? No, it is embedded in their minds because of Japanese society and culture. It is often just the way things are. This does not make them "better" or "worse" than anyone else. If you fancy that, be my guest and be obsessed about it. If you prefer American women instead, go ahead. If you don't care about race/culture and rather look at more personal characteristics, be like me and enjoy life optimally.

Also here as well to say that "it is embedded in their minds" is pretty much what your opinion or what others think as well, however to them it could very well be something totally different. I agree with you 100% it doesn't make them better or worse and I agree 100% that one should look at personal characteristics over race and culture.

Hell I married my wife for who she was, not because of her nationality. It never crossed my mind.

Once again I understand your point, just making a comment here that no matter how one person views it, someone else could look at the same situation in a different way, kind of like the "glass is half empty or half full" debate.

Why do people marry who they do? That is an age old question that all of us arm-chair monday morning psychologists are discussing here right?

In my opinion it really isn't a question about why foreigners marry Japanese men or women but why do people from, generally speaking here, totally different cultures and backgrounds find each other attractive enough to want to get married to.