Yoshiki's latest blog-entry made me really sad.
OK, and X Japan.
I'm like.Why now? ..... Why, why, why?
To be honest. it took years to conquer the pain and sadness. maybe not yet, I still cannot listen to or watch X Japan's videos. without tears.
" MY OWN GODDAMN BAND" . I can't listen to it without crying HOW CAN I BE IN IT AGAIN? IT HURTS SO MUCH TO EVEN TALK ABOUT ...... X JAPAN.
Yes, I can play the drums. I think I can play them even harder than before of course my injured neck and wrists hurt. but SO WHAT!!! . I don't give a **** about that kind of pain.
But mentally. I don't know if I can take it. I'm not saying if I'll do it or not. I talked to Toshi (vocalist). He called me almost towards the end of last year. for the first time since we went our separate ways
Toshi and I..... we grew up together....... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know .
Yes, there are lyrics of the song "WITHOUT YOU" . That, I wrote, right after Hide's death. also, I had to do so many takes of piano recording, because of the tears falling down and flooding the piano keys, and my fingers kept slipping again and again.
If there's somebody to sing this song. I think it should be Toshi. but I don't know. I don't know. I don't ******* know. It's too painful..
I'm sorry, I don't want to make you feel depressed or anything like that. but so many people have been asking me about this, so I had to say something just let me... have a little more time...