Would you check my sentences?

hirashin · 12 Dec 2017

Dear native English speakers,
I'm making an exercise sheet for my students.
I'd appreciate it if you would check my sentences.

1 The city council adopted my plan for the new city planning.
2 Like many other Japanese, I am not good at English.
3 Many developed countries are suffering from environmental problems.
4 The city council began to take/adopt many drastic measures.
5 The mayor announced a new city planning.
6 In 1971, the architect became mayor of Curitiba.
7 What did the mayor do to solve the environmental problems?
8 The city in the southern part of Italy has a population of 200,000.
9 In 1960s, our city was suffering from a lot of environmental problems.

Thanks in advance.

Hirashin

joadbres · 13 Dec 2017

3, 4, 6, and 7 are fine as they are. "the" in 6 implies that preceding sentences made clear which architect was being referenced. If it is not specified, though, then "an" should be used.
2 is fine grammatically, but I recommend always avoiding anything that might make your students think that learning English is hard for them.
In 9, add "the" before "1960s", and then it is fine.
8 is strange as it is now, as there are many cities in the southern part of Italy. If you place commas on each side of "in the southern part of Italy", then it would be OK.
In general, "planning" is uncountable, so changing to "a new city plan" in 5 makes it OK. "a new plan for the city" is also OK.
1 sounds a little redundant in using "plan" twice, and therefore a little awkward. Removing "for ... planning" makes it OK. You could also change it to something more specific, such as "for renaming the park".

hirashin · 13 Dec 2017

Thank you for your detail corrections, joadbres. I appreciate them. I made so many mistakes this time.

How about this?
#1 The city council adopted my plan for designing the new park.

Do you mean this will be all right?
#8 The city, in the southern part of Italy, has a population of 200,000.

How about this?
#5 The mayor announced a new city plan to solve its traffic congestion.

joadbres · 14 Dec 2017

hirashin said:
Thank you for your detail corrections

The correct way to say this is "Thank you for your detailed corrections".
Also, you are welcome.

hirashin said:
How about this?
#1 The city council adopted my plan for designing the new park.

Grammatically, this is fine, but the meaning might not be what you think it is. If the council saw an actual park design and agreed with it, you should say "The city council approved my design for the new park". What you wrote implies that the actual park design is not yet completed - only a plan for creating the design has been approved.

hirashin said:
Do you mean this will be all right?
#8 The city, in the southern part of Italy, has a population of 200,000.

Yes. If you use "the" with a singular instance of an object, together with a location, it implies that there is only one such object in that location.
For example, "The vase on the table is red." implies that there is only one vase on the table. Your original version of the sentence, therefore, implied that there is only one city in the southern part of Italy, which is incorrect.

hirashin said:
How about this?
#5 The mayor announced a new city plan to solve its traffic congestion.

This is OK. You can make it slightly better by removing "city". The expression "city plan" is not commonly used to describe a plan issued by a city government, despite the fact that the expression "city planning" is commonly used. You can also make your sentence slightly better by adding the word "problem" at the end.

hirashin · 14 Dec 2017

Thank you for your great help, joadbres.

How about this?
#5 The mayor announced new city planning.

joadbres · 14 Dec 2017

hirashin said:
How about this?
#5 The mayor announced new city planning.

Grammatically, it is fine. However, it would probably not be used in "the real world" because it is so vague, and so doesn't really say anything.

I did some searching on the web, and came up with a number of example sentences which are better, as they are more specific. I tried to simplify them to make them easier for high school students to learn from. You are welcome to use any of these if you care to.

The mayor announced a plan to build a tunnel beneath the city in order to improve the traffic situation.

The mayor announced a plan to move city hall.

The mayor announced a plan to reduce the number of people injured in car accidents.

The mayor announced a plan to provide summer employment for 5000 young people.

The mayor announced a plan to clean up the downtown area.

The mayor announced a plan to provide housing for the homeless.

If you really want to use the phrase "city planning", consider these:

The department of city planning issued new policies to protect the environment.

The city planning division has worked hard to preserve historical buildings.

Tom works in the city planning office.

hirashin · 14 Dec 2017

Oh, it is vague.
Thanks for giving me the good example sentences.

What do you think of this usage of "city planning"? It's from our textbook.
"Curitiba has solved many of these by adopting excellent city planning."

About #8
What do you think of this one? It's also from the textbook we use.
"The city of Curitiba in the southern part of Brazil had a population of 1.8 million as of 2010, making it the seventh largest city in the country."

Wouldn't it be necessary to put commas after "Curitiba" and " Brazil"?

joadbres · 15 Dec 2017

These sentences are both OK.

The reason that commas are not mandatory in the second sentence is because there is only one city of Curitiba. Your earlier example did not include anything similar to "of Curitiba", which is why it was problematic.

hirashin · 15 Dec 2017

Thanks, joadbres.

I have another question about the second sentence I gave.
What's the implied subject of "make" in "making it the seventh largest city"? It does not seem to be "the city of Curitiba". Is it "a population of 1.8 million"?

joadbres · 16 Dec 2017

Yes.

This is easier to see if you simplify and reorganize the sentence, replacing all pronouns:

Curitiba's population of 1.8 million makes Curitiba the seventh largest city in Brazil.

hirashin · 16 Dec 2017

Thanks for the help, joadbres.
In my understanding, the implied subject, in this type of sentence, is usually the same as the subject of the main clause, but this is different.

What do you think of these sentences?
(a) I found this book easy to read, written in simple English.
(b) Looking out of the window, the mountains were so beautiful.
(c) Walking in Hyde Park, it's hard to believe you're in the middle of a big city.
(d) A lot of trees were planted in our city, making the city a better place to live.

joadbres · 17 Dec 2017

hirashin said:
In my understanding, the implied subject, in this type of sentence, is usually the same as the subject of the main clause, but this is different.

What do you think of these sentences?

When I choose to answer a question from you, I don't mind also answering a few simple, related follow-up questions, but if you are going start introducing multiple new sentences on a totally divergent topic, then you should start a new thread, rather than presume that the contributor who has provided help will continue to provide help. Also, your question "What do you think of these sentences?" is entirely unclear. If you want help, you should make sure that your questions are clear. Finally, by using the phrase "this type of sentence", you seem to be implying that all of the example sentences you listed are of the same type. I am not sure that is the case. For example, sentence (d) seems to be of a completely different type than the others.

hirashin · 18 Dec 2017

Thanks, joadbres.
I will start a new thread. I'm sorry.

Would you check my sentences?

hirashin

Sempai

joadbres

八方凡人

hirashin

Sempai

joadbres

八方凡人

hirashin

Sempai

joadbres

八方凡人

hirashin

Sempai

joadbres

八方凡人

hirashin

Sempai

joadbres

八方凡人

hirashin

Sempai

joadbres

八方凡人

hirashin

Sempai

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