Why am I so bored?

PopCulturePooka · 6 Aug 2004

In recent months I've been spending a good deal of my free time in Japan doing the same old crap.

Either I sit at home and watch DVD's/use the PC/read.

Or I got to Machida or Shibuya or Shinjuku and loiter with intent.

Not alot else.

Even going to the other places takes extreme effort. I know when I go there little will have changed from last time I went. They will still be large, noisy, crowded (and oddly enough sometimes odourous) mega-urban hubs. I know that I'll get a splitting headache and ride a packed train home.

Maybe the disgustingly hot weather in Japan has a lot to do with it.

Maybe the fact that most of my friends are either working, at college or severly hungover those days. Or that there idea of a good time out is a lot of booze and sex and not alot else.

Or cause I'm saving money to get home.

Or I'm exhausted after a work week.

But I jsut can't seem to get motivated to do stuff.

As I said the big centres of Tokyo and Yokohama get a bit boring after repeated visits (I swear I've been to Shibuya over 150 times easily.

Going to festivals etc alone is just sad. No-one to chat too or anything, you just wander aimlessly. Ditto for the beach or tourist places.

Plus alot of joints are seen it once seen it a thousand times, just like anywhere.

Basically I'm bored. Its SO much easier to stay home in the air-conditioned comfort than to hike 20 minutes to the station, ride trains for up to an hour each way, brave the crowds and heat etc.

Gah.

Just ranting.

Emoni · 6 Aug 2004

You need to find a real friend there... That is my guess as to why you are bored. Everything is empty if you never have anything to share or appreciate it with.

Force yourself to go out, and see if you can meet anyone who might share an interest of yours and try to spend time with them. Not easy, I know. Of all the people I'd be the worst at this, but I know it will change a lot for you.

Good luck.

SensualTokyo · 6 Aug 2004

Ahhh, I hear ya loud and clear mate. I chalk it up to summer. I don't know about you, but during the summers here I am the biggest piece of crap to walk the streets..... ever.

That plus as you said, the work hours here are long, the trains are packed, it is not your language, all these incredibly beautiful women (or men if you are a woman) but no energy to chase them......

It'll pass, you know it. It always does. Do what you can to survive this wave, don't let it crash over you. Humor is the key, I believe. Do what you have to, to make yourself laugh at it all. Fart on the trains..... "accidentally" let your belt loose so suddenly your pants fall to your knees then have a look of shock and embarrasment on your face..... what ever you have to do mate! Humor is your only weapon against this insanity.

PopCulturePooka · 6 Aug 2004

Yeah. I have a few great friends, just the unlucky happenings of them having diffrent days off, or distance (or the fact that Megan now has a new boyfriend and no time to hang out CURSE YOUR SOUL MEGAN, CURSE IT TOO HELL!!!!!!).

Gotta find some friends with concurrent days off that live close. Easier said then done. I'm currently trying to make friends with the guys that work at a local Jamacam/African bar. Buts its tough going.

PopCulturePooka · 6 Aug 2004

SensualTokyo said:
"accidentally" let your belt loose so suddenly your pants fall to your knees then have a look of shock and embarrasment on your face.....

Its even better when its not an 'accident' but a druken bit of malarky on the alst train from Yokohama.

But seems some dont like that.

Yeah its jsut a total rut, summer based. I used to get the same in Australia in summer. Just sit on the sofa all day.

I'll be over it soon enough.

Jean-Francois · 6 Aug 2004

Hmm... signs of depression

Not involved with family and friends the way you used to be?
Low on energy?

Not motivated to do the things you once looked forward to doing?

Not feeling as good as you used to?

PopCulturePooka · 6 Aug 2004

Nha. Not depression. heh, I left behind in Australia.
Quite fine really. Call my family a lot. Mail friends like a mad man (curse docomo as well now that I think about it).

Its motivation

*cues up Longview by Greenday*

Sinspawne · 6 Aug 2004

can't really help you with that, because it's the same thing with me..
But 1 thing i know is, the more you stay home doing nothing, the less motivated you become to do anything else later on..

Elgin · 6 Aug 2004

lol I guess I`m little like you. I stay home during the day since it`s just too damn hot. I`m dead after a 40min walk to the train station. So I go out at night.

I`m used to 25C day and 12C night weather during the summer, not 37C

Jean-Francois · 6 Aug 2004

Put on that Speedo...

But aren't there a lot of public swimming pools open during the summer? You guys can go there look at girls and let them stare at you too... I am sure it is very good entertainment.

Public swimming pools aren't that bad...

Ewok85 · 6 Aug 2004

I know what you mean, but I do have a solution. Where are you staying?

PopCulturePooka · 6 Aug 2004

Kanagawa-ken.

Aobadai

chiquiliquis · 6 Aug 2004

FirstHousePooka said:
Kanagawa-ken.

Aobadai

That's down there on the Yokohama-sen, right? Past Machida, towards Yokohama? Buddha Smoker and I sometimes chill up around Hachioji. I can make it into Machida pretty easily, it's more of a haul for BuSmo. But, if you wanna go grab a beer sometime, let me know...

Unfortunately, I am vacationing in America through the end of the month

Ewok85 · 7 Aug 2004

My thing was to give you a Shorinji Kempo club to join... but its not working.

Its a great thing to do, you make heaps of great friends and its a chance to relax and have some fun on a regular basis with friendly people.

cricket · 7 Aug 2004

Hello,FirstHousePooka (^^)

Ewok's idea of joining a club or something is a good idea.

Or be a member of a sport club or gym and try to make
new friends.

You can also check some activities they have at your local
kominkan. Why not join a language study group or join in
the local kokusai koryu(international friendship association)?

What are the things that interest you? If you teach English,are
you already a JALT member?

cheer up!

dadako · 7 Aug 2004

FirstHousePooka, I know how you feel

Tokyo is shite with no-one to enjoy it with (actually I got really bored out my skull when I moved to sagami ono), this is why you must start going out and meeting some people!! I used to get into ruts like this, but then I'd go down to sugar high in shibuya or go sit around outside gap in harajuku... in no time you'll meet someone out of sheer boredom.
Also, joining a club or arranging to meet people from online or going to an international party... starting is the hard part.

Ewok85 · 7 Aug 2004

I'm not kidding you, go join a Shorinji Kempo club, the people you'll meet will be alot nicer to you in the long run, you'll be able to meet them on a regular basis etc. Its not expensive (10,000en to get registered, uniform etc) and theres over 3500 clubs in Japan and many overseas (not many in Aus tho.. only Brisbane, Gold Coast and Sydney, heads up for an Adelaide branch if I ever come back! )

PopCulturePooka · 7 Aug 2004

Whats kempo?

Hehe if its a martial arts then it means I REALLY have to start training or doing more workin out then walking to the station!

Ewok85 · 7 Aug 2004

It is Dont worry about feeling unfit, you can have one leg and still do it, its very flexible to the practicioner.

神奈川県少林寺拳法連盟

Theres a list of clubs in Kanagawa. I can whip up a list of the names of the basic moves and techniques so you can have a basic idea of what all these new words mean. So as well as meeting new people, having fun, getting fit you learn new and interesting Japanese!

Brooker · 8 Aug 2004

After some time in Japan I had similar feelings. When I first got there everything was so exciting, but in time, nothing seemed to interest me and I wasn't motivated to do much.

This may not apply to you at all, because your reasons for being in Japan may differ from what mine were, but after this feeling persisted for some time, it was a sign to me that it was time to go home. BUT, that's because my sole reason for being in Japan was to have a laugh. When the feeling died, there really wasn't much reason for me to stay there - although I still love Japan. Don't take this as meaning that you should go home. There are some options....

There are some things you can do to combat this feeling. GET OUT OF THE CITY!! I lived in Tokyo for a while and took a rafting trip in the country with some friends, and as we were taking the train out of town, the further out we got, the more my stress level decreased. You don't realize how uptight the city is making you feel until you take a break from it and see how much better you feel. But, that might just be me.

Also, get involved in some activity. Maybe something not all that Japan-related that you'd still be interested in doing if you were at home. Like, play soccer, learn to play an instrument, take Japanese classes (J-related). I always get depressed if I have too much free time on my hands.

Japan is a place just like everywhere else is a place, and after the initial thrill wears off you're going to have to take some steps to keep your sanity, just like you'd have to do anywhere.

Ewok85 · 8 Aug 2004

Something I've had happen to me and see happen to countless people is 3 levels of feelings. The first one is that everything is FANTASTIC! OMG! Look! Its a train! Wow! Things! And you would only leave if they dragged you off in a straight jacket. The next stage you begin to dislike things, start comparing Japan with whereever you came from, things annoy you (those damn loud bike brakes, trucks with loudspeakers at 6am, not nice people on bikes revving at 1am) and you begin to wonder about why you came and even think about going back. Then theres a third part, where you bgin to accept Japan for what it is.

I think its a normal pattern for if you move somewhere different, if it be house, state, country. People like routines, but like Brooker said, breaking it can also do you some good.

My hot tip: snowfields in the summer. The Nagano countryside is beautiful in summer and cheap, as its off season

cricket · 8 Aug 2004

I think I'm into fourth stage now.
When I go back to visit my country,I feel like I don't belong there anymore.After a couple of decades here(hey,I'm not that old,I married young),I'm so much adjusted and Japanized in a lot of way(like missing my nightly ofuro and misoshiru) that I sometimes have these identity crisis...
But, I can never consider myself Japanese,yet. Noticed my avatar? Tabibito or Traveller.

FirstHousePooka, I suggest you find yourself a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Brooker · 9 Aug 2004

Ewok85 wrote....

Something I've had happen to me and see happen to countless people is 3 levels of feelings.

Ah, the three stages. I wrote about that in an article posted here on jref and described it pretty similarly to how you did.

To check in out, go here and go to the section, "Being a Gaijin in Japan"....

The Unbiased Truth About Nova

TwistedMac · 9 Aug 2004

Brooker said:
Ewok85 wrote....

Ah, the three stages. I wrote about that in an article posted here on jref and described it pretty similarly to how you did.

To check in out, go here and go to the section, "Being a Gaijin in Japan"....

The Unbiased Truth About Nova

heh, i actually read that whole thing yesterday.. good points.. a bit depressing but definatelly easy psychology logic that anyone should be able to understand and instantly agree with..

cricket · 9 Aug 2004

Brooker said:
Ewok85 wrote....

Ah, the three stages. I wrote about that in an article posted here on jref and described it pretty similarly to how you did.

To check in out, go here and go to the section, "Being a Gaijin in Japan"....

The Unbiased Truth About Nova

Nice article.Brooker.

I see you spent 15 months here. You're right too,about the city being uptight.It's just not the city,though. The level just varies,say compare Tokyo or any other prefecture to Osaka and Okinawa where I think people are more relaxed.Japan as a country is uptight or rigid or katai,or..

Need somebody to tell me if they have this what I said fourth stage.Or is it only me?

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