Virginity

Doc said:
Still having a lot of people living that kind of lifestyle is a problem, and I know I for one wouldn't want to live. However, as they say different strokes for different folks. If you want to sit there in a shallow mind set, being in a drug, alcohol, and bad sex induced haze then more power to you. As I said I'm not denying that humanity doesn't need casual sex, after all committed and loving partners do it with each other all the time. I'm just saying living a fully hedonistic life where casual sex is the routine can be severely damaging in the end. Of course the same can be said about too little sex, and because of dogmatic morons who think they can make the decisions for us, you then have people who do go off to prostitutes and the like to get their fill or fix of
Thank you Doc for clarifying your point there. Sorry I didn't catch where you were coming from originally. Maybe I read too much into it. Now I understand where you are coming from and I think you are correct in your opinion that there is a problem in this country with people having a TOO casual attitude towards sex these days and too many people looking to have sex anytime with anyone anywhere.

I mean just look at the attitudes of teenagers in the US these days. Everything they do, say, see, and wear is geared towards one thing: SEX and attracting the opposite sex. Especially among females. And where did they get that attitude and way of thinking? TV that's where in my opinion. After spending more than a decade and a half in Japan I was just literally shocked when I returned to the states and saw what was on TV in Prime Time. And it just got progressively worse right up the present.

Back in my day when I was a teenager in the late 60's and early 70's, sex was never alluded to on TV. Look at a few of the most popular sitcoms of the day. The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, The Monkees are a few that come to mind. Not one of those shows ever alluded to sex with a member of the opposite sex. Sure they covered puberty and crushes and all that of a typical teenager, but the females never dressed provocatively or like *****, nor did the males ever show that their only goal in life was to sleep with a girl. Sex was never mentioned nor was it alluded to. I think Marsha Brady wore a mini-skirt once and it drove me up the wall! Sure we did think about sex and we did have our make-out sessions and spin the bottle, but no one ever had sex, at least that I knew of. The biggest thrill for us males back then was French kissing and maybe getting to "second base."

Can you imagine re-makes of those shows today? Marsha would be the school ****, dressed in tight low riding jeans or a mini skirt with a see through blouse with no bra (now that's something I wouldn't have minded seeing!) and she would probably be having sex with Greg since he was not her real brother along with the whole football team. The Partridge family and the Monkees would be having sex with all the groupies that followed them around from week to week and David Cassidy would probably be banging everyone as he was an idol back then.

When did TV change? I have watched a couple of sitcoms and regular shows in recent years and the majority of them deal with only one thing: SEX, SEX, and more SEX among teenagers! Is it any wonder that casual sex, as often as possible, seems to be the main goal of most teenagers and younger people today? You are most correct in your analysis. It is not good. Just walk to any mall today and take a look at the teenagers. The females are dressed like ***** looking to attract males, and the males strut around like peacocks trying to attract the female. It is a dirty old mans dream to sit in a mall on a Saturday afternoon lusting after these young woman flaunting their bodies like a piece of meat in a butcher shop. Just watch the eyes of some men my age or older the next time and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Now compare a Japanese sitcom or drama with an American one (maybe a few Europeans can chime in on their own sitcoms and dramas) and you will notice that the Japanese ones never allude to sex, especially among teenagers, nor do they have it as their main theme week after week. They are, for the most part, just wholesome shows that are enjoyable to watch. Why is that? And because sex is not the main theme, the Japanese do not turn out to be prudes. Have you ever seen, outside of the cosplay girls of course, many Japanese teenagers dressing as slutty as their US counterparts? Do Japanese woman in their 20's dress to make the best use of their breasts and body to attract the opposite sex. No. For the most part they dress fashionably and mostly conservative.

Case in point: My wife and I have been watching the NHK 15 min. morning drama "Fighto" for the past 4 months that her mother sends to us. In that show the husband has lost his company and the very cute wife (IMO) has moved to another town to work at an Onsen to help make ends meet while the husband tries to get on his feet. She meets a single doctor in the apartment building who comes to have a crush on her this past month. He is beginning to fall in love with her and she is somewhat attracted to him also. Once you think she will cheat on her husband she doesn't. Sex is never mentioned nor alluded to and there is no touching yet except he once grabbed her hand and she pulled it away. I told my wife that if this were an American show, they would have been in bed a long time ago as that is the way TV is today. She agreed.

There is also a 16 yr old daughter who has a crush on an older man in his 20's and a 16 yr old classmate who has a crush on her and there is not a hint of sex nor does the teenager dress in sexy clothes. A far cry from US TV as the 16 yr old would probably be having sex with someone or at least we would know she would want sex and would be dressing to advertise it.

Schools here in Tennessee have started enforcing a strict dress code in schools beginning this year. No sexy clothes, hip huggers, tank tops, open shirts, t-shirts and such, and you know what happened? The kids started complaining along with their parents that the rules were too strict and didn't allow the kids to dress freely. Their "freedom of speech" was being violated. A couple of the wealthy parents have even started a lawsuit against the school system. What the hell is wrong with this picture when the parents don't even care if their daughters dress like little *****? I don't get it.

Therefore, to wrap this up, stay on the theme of this thread, and concur with your analysis, is it any wonder why virginity is not sacred anymore here? Is it any wonder why casual sex is so pervasive with over half of kids having sex before they are 14? TV, books, and magazines make it seem like it is the "in" thing to do and if you don't do "it" there is something wrong with you and you are not cool. Personally, I place the blame on the media, Hollywood, the parents, and the permissive attitude of the culture who make young people believe that having casual sex with anyone, anywhere, anytime, is cool. As you pointed out, "living a lifestyle where casual sex is the routine can be severely damaging in the end," is not only bad for ones emotions and sex life with a comitted partner, but I think it is damaging to the culture as a whole as has been so evident recently.

There are a few more points I'd like to respond to but I have to make one more short post and then get my butt to bed. Be back Sunday night as the weekend is with the wife and some great sex! :-)
 
Tsuyoiko said:
And thanks for that stat about preventing prostrate cancer. I will use that one on my husband when all else fails.
Correction. The study was originally done in Australia and a follow-up study in the US. Here are the links:

BBC

New Scientist

Sexuality website

Doc said:
Oh and one last thing I forgot to mention. Pachipro, you were talking about masturbation correct? You know I've been studying the effects of masturbation in serious and committed relationships, and have discovered from sexual therapists that it should be practiced more often rather than shunned. Masturbation apparently is a great outlet for those who either can't get enough sometimes, as well as, enhancing one's sexual relationship with their partner. It is suggested that both partners should watch each other while they masturbate as it can bring a whole new level of closeness not only sexually, but emotionally too. I found that to be very interesting. So those of you who are married or in a serious relationship should try that out. It could not only help you sexually and open up even more of your sexuality, but also bring you and your partner closer together as well. I also found out on average that women masturbate more per day than men do (talk about a shocker ).
Yes I was. I will answer more on this most interesting subject next time. :sleep:
 
I never felt pressured to loose my virginity, or smoke and drink and all that.

i would rather still be a virgin, and wonder what sex is like and wish i could have it now and then, then loose it to any old girl who couldnt care.

I'm glad i waited for someone i care about and who cares for me.

As for sleeping about, if your looking simply for sexual release and pleasure, as long as your doing it with girls of the same kinda mind, its not my bussiness, whatever floats your boat, but i still personally cant go sleeping about, isnt my thing.

Same goes for smoking and drinking, i tried them, didnt like them, so i wont be doing it just because all my mates are (oddly enough, nearly all my mates are playa's who smoke and drink, cool blokes and decent enough, they arnt "bad" for not sharing my personal values, i just dont apply to the same school of thought).
 
Yet again Pachipro rocks it!

Part of the appeal for me with the image of japanese women is this 'dignity'.
I don't need to see a woman's legs or t*ts to find her attractive.
I remember seeing all the lovely ladies in Ju-on, wearing smart but pretty clothes.

There is a picture in one of the galleries here of a celebrity (Ayano someone or other), and the only flesh you can see is her face and hands, but she still looks very attractive.

Recently I saw a Chinese girl on the tube the other day who had obviously grown up here in UK and she was behaving just like all the other chavvy Wigger white kids.
Oh well...

- Rich
 
Doc, I have to agree with alot of things you have been saying in this thread, and it makes me glad to see that not all guys are so loose about sex.
 
Thanks. 😊 Much like you said, I wish there were other guys who had the same mind set as I do. Maybe then we'd have more responsibility towards sex (for both parties).

Doc 🙂
 
Sex is indeed a very personal thing. Everybody sees it differently. The trick is to find someone who sees it the same way as you and has had similar experiences as you. You'll have a greater chance of being happy.
 
My own personal beliefs: Sex should be about love. People who are not married can love each other. Many people who are married do not love each other (look at the divorce rate in North America..). People can get married without being in love.

I hope you get what I'm saying.
 
My opinion on it is that though good sex between two people who love each other is a special and sacred thing, casual sex is different and therefor should never be seen as degrading to real sex, lets be honest here guys, for many casual folk who casually have sex, its nothing more then a past-time, a sexual release, you will be lucky if you learn the chicks name.

I dont think society itself is degraded for casual sex, look at the greeks and other ancient peoples, i think going out EVERY night and getting high, pissed and smoking up the place in a bar where the music is so loud you cant hear your own thoughts is somewhat less then a productive activity towards society but then again, everyone is different, my best mate lives such a lifestyle every saturday or friday, yet he is one of the greatest folk i know, he would be just as prepared as me or you to push someone out the way of a runaway bus or to save a puppy/kitten stuck on a ledge of a building or something, its all too easy to think everyone who enjoys a certain lifestyle are undesirables and vagabonds but its actually the opposite, my mate like to have fun in a way thats more rowdy then i ever will, but him, and all my other mates who also enjoy this lifestyle to varying degrees are good decent folk and i wouldnt want any other mates.

Of course everyone is different and i dont have casual sex in that fashion, just because its a random act of passion with my girlfriend doesnt make it casual, everytime is special to me, everytime our bodies are close and we share that special bond it just makes it...special (damnit stop making me remember it o o; )

Some folk wont have sex with anyone until their married, some will only have sex with thier girlfriend they really love, others will have sex with girls they barely remember the name of outside of a nightclub in an alley, we will all have seperate opinions on this (another fine example of humanities infinite diversity) but is it ultimatly "wrong"?....aslong as both parties are getting what they agree out of it and understand the level of relationship between the two involved, then its not a problem for me, even if i personally wont have sex with anyone but someone i love and who loves me.

I guess im getting older, originally, i wouldnt have sex with anyone but someone i loved so much i could rip my heart out to bleed for them, lol, but that was early teenage years of idealistic ideals, my idea of what love is might be different but it still stands, i wouldnt go around screwing willy nilly, i save myself for someone who loves me and who i love back, it just, in my personal opinion, makes sex all the more enjoyable, and im only glad that i got to have it, loosing virginity and all, to the one girl i love the most in the world, seriously, you never really expect to meet your soulmate but i did so, its all good :).

As for the masturbation thing i read 😌 ive always been a strong supporter of peoples right to do it, in this day and age when everyones so choosey about their partner not everyone has a girlfriend/boyfriend all the time, and it helps them through lonelier periods, dry-spells if you will. 👍

As for doing it with your partner well....thats a personal choice, i wont say anything more on it because i have no comment i refuse to comment on it...HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME, I WANT TO SPEAK TO MY LAWYER!

Lol, kidding, but yeah, its 2005, sexuality and preferences towards it a purely personal choice, try everything and stick with what your comfortable with, but i cant stress it enough for our younger members, use protection, if condoms are out the question, ladies, use the pill, boys, get your girlfriend to use the pill, and also, show some restraint if protection isnt handy, i know i know it will frustrate you, but if you care anything about either persons future, you will put the general away for another campaign. 👍
 
nurizeko said:
but i cant stress it enough for our younger members, use protection, if condoms are out the question, ladies, use the pill, boys, get your girlfriend to use the pill, and also, show some restraint if protection isnt handy, i know i know it will frustrate you, but if you care anything about either persons future, you will put the general away for another campaign. 👍
The pill is no good against disease. If condoms are out of the question, then so is casual sex, IMHO.
 
dutch baka said:
no sex before marriage, i dont believe in it. because sex is a pleasure in life, why wait till mariage? im happy i didnt wait ... but yeah when you dont know about sex, and you want to wait, i dont have a problem with that, just not me LoL
and it is good to know that people who don't wait still have respect for those who do. thank you! 😊
 
im a virgin..some people find it hard to believe. I just..would like a nice person ..and a good time and place :) And I've met the right guys...but...just not the right time or place :(
 
the_manekineko_star said:
im a virgin..some people find it hard to believe. I just..would like a nice person ..and a good time and place :) And I've met the right guys...but...just not the right time or place :(
Don't worry... the right guy will eventually come at the right place and time.. :-)

If you've been alive for 50 years like me, you begin to see everything in the right perspective... :p
 
cicatriz esp said:
Condoms don't protect against all diseases either. Be careful.
And bring your own for very stripped down, economical Japanese love hotels that don't supply them at all...fortunately the person I was with was too concerned about the risk to continue, but I don't imagine that is the norm. :eek:
 
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