Thinking about an exchange student year in Japan

Hi there!

My name is Robin. I'm 17 years old and i live in Sweden. I've posted some things here before, but not much. I hope you'll be nice to me anyway.

As the topic say, I'm thinking that a year as an exchange student would be interesting. It seems like an interesting country. So many old traditions live on even thought it's a high tech and modern country, food, manga/anime(of course, it's impossible not to ). Also, with much immigration and things like that, I think it would be a good experience. Of course, it's not even close to what it feels like for a refugee coming from a country at war, but it would probably be good to feel like a foregner for once. To have to adapt to new rules and such and experiencing a country from the inside(this, of course, goes for any country).

Some things does worry me, though.
1. The senpai system. I dislike people telling me what to do. Is it to expect that the senpais will boss me around, due to this idiotic system? Is it just something to get used to, and accept?

2. Damn, I don't remember. :? I'll ask when it comes back to my head.

Now, have anyone here been a high school exchange student in Japan(especially with YFU(Youth For Understanding), I'm thinking of going with them))? What did you think of it? Are the host families nice? Is it easy to get friends? From what I've seen here and heard of, it seems like the japanese are pretty shy when it comes to foreigners/gaijins. Also, I've heard that the japanese kids are pretty immature, so is it necessary to lower the "maturity-bar" to fit in?
What things is important to think of?

As we say in Sweden:

MVH* chiefen

*Med Vﾃ､nlig Hﾃ､lsning. If you translate it literally, it would say With Friendly Greeting. It's like "Sincerely"(or something like that) in English.

Dont worry about the senpai/kohai thing, you'll be the same age if not older by time you go, but really you dont know japanese or japan so its best to just sit back and go with the flow. If you really dont like being told what to do, dont bother, you wont get on at all.

The sempai/hokai thing gets a little intense in certain situations, especially in college, but in high school I doubt you'd be subject to the same standards as Japanese people. As a foreigner, you'll be given tons of leeway, so don't worry about it too much....as long as you're not going ridiculously crazy, you shouldn't have any problems.

Japanese people can be a bit shy, but a lot of them are more than willing to offer help, advice, whatever to foreigners...especially those that are willing to ask for it. I didn't do high school, so I can't offer any advice on how mature/immature the kids are, but the college kids I knew into were just immature enough to be fun.

Ewok85 said:

If you really dont like being told what to do, dont bother, you wont get on at all.

Click to expand...

I can probably adapt. At first, I thought of it like the oler kids only wants to give the younger a hard time. Then I found a guy on MSN, he had been an exchange student before. He told me not to think of it as I said above, and to think of it like "They're just doing their 'job'. You wouldn't tell the boss att work to go do things himself, would you? They're not after to give you a hard time."

It sounds pretty logical. And with that in my mind, it doesn't seem half as hard to adapt to the senpai/kohai system.

C'mon, guys! Someone must have something to say! ☝

I need all the help i can get! Things to think about, things to do, things not to do, tips and all the stuff you can think about!

Uhm...don't trip on the children.

I also want to go to japan as an exchage student but i think im going to go during the summer beacuse of money problems.

"C'mon, guys! Someone must have something to say!"
but they done already said it before and pooped out most likely?
a search for "exchange student"
or some posts by a member "mandylion"
gl hth

"1. The senpai system. I dislike people telling me what to do. Is it to expect that the senpais will boss me around, due to this idiotic system? Is it just something to get used to, and accept?"

I think I'm behind on this. You mean sempai don't you? If you mean sempai, then of course you won't have people telling you what to do. Senpai, never heard of it

cyber ape said:

You mean sempai don't you? If you mean sempai, then of course you won't have people telling you what to do. Senpai, never heard of it

Click to expand...

same thing, different spelling, both right.

I don't get the big deal.. I'd love being someone's kohai!
Incidently I liked the army.
No need to think, someone else does it for you.. all you have to do is try to keep your helmet on and run in the direction he points.
I'm telling you, it's alot easier to run when your legs are giving way if you have no idea where you're going, but you know the guy infront of you does.

just saying.

why does sweden and norway require military service if they are neatral? doesnt make sense to me.

I'm doing a 3 month exchange beginning in April and I've been to a high school in Japan before for 2 weeks and I can tell you this.

I think as long as you aren't acting in an annoying fashion to the older kids at school then they will be respectful to you. When I went for 2 weeks I was in grade 10 and made some awesome friends who were seniors. They treated me as someone the same age as them and I had no problem making friends. My host family was wonderful and I love them very much. Other people who I know all ended up with great host families also so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Most families in Japan that sign up for student exchanges are on the more wealthy end with larger houses/apartments so they can manage an extra person in their house.

Hope that helped :?

Timsan said:

why does sweden and norway require military service if they are neatral? doesnt make sense to me.

Click to expand...

Keeps the nations youth fit, gives them a sense of national pride and brings them together. Instills key ideals such as teamwork, brings out leadship and initiative. Plus its damn fun

I'm all for national service. Im not for sending them to war.

Thanks for the answers I've gotten so far, but i can't believe that so few has something to say.

*neutral doesn't mean immune to attacks*
but to keep this on topic:
Chief, ask more questions and you'll get more answers.

that's true

I was thinking that people could tell about their experiences and things to think of in general. And someone must have answers to some of the unanswered questions.

Oh, well... ☝ :?

ewok hit the nail on the head, if you don't like discipline/ ordered things then you probably wouldn't like it. That is what japanese schools are all about.

jieshi said:

ewok hit the nail on the head, if you don't like discipline/ ordered things then you probably wouldn't like it. That is what japanese schools are all about.

Click to expand...

Dude, I won't let that little thing stop me. ( )
As I said in another post...

"I can probably adapt. At first, I thought of it like the oler kids only wants to give the younger a hard time. Then I found a guy on MSN. He had been an exchange student before. He told me not to think of it as I said above, and to think of it like "They're just doing their 'job'. You wouldn't tell the boss att work to go do things himself, would you? They're not after to give you a hard time."

It sounds pretty logical. And with that in my mind, it doesn't seem half as hard to adapt to the senpai/kohai system."


And i think that if one goes abroad a year as an exchange student it should be to a place with a totally different culture. If you go to the states, for example. It's almost like here, only people are fatter(just kidding).
I think you guys get my point.

OT:

I think you guys on this forum are the nicest I've found on a forum in a long time.

Hey Chiefen,

Yeah, I would let the concept of the Japanese Schools being more strict and the Senpai/Kohai relationship. First, although the Japanese schools have many rules and regulations that they expect the students to obey they are more lenient towards Western Students. Many Japanese don't expect the Westerners to follow all of the guidelines and rules. I don't really know about Japanese High Schools though, if they cut the Westerners slack or not.

There is an important aspect that is important in the Japanese society, and that is the Senpai (Mentor/Superior) and Kohai (Junior/Subordinate) relationship. These relationships exist in schools, universities, as well as the work place, and they are critical to understand if you want to do business in Japan. The relationship consists of a superior whom is seen as knowledgeable, and is there to guide and teach some of the junior employees who lack experience in their job. This relationship is based on the virtue ﾂ"trust,ﾂ" and without this key quality there is no way to repair this relationship. The Kohai high must always address his Senpai with the utmost respect, and the Senpai has an obligation to take care as well as help guide his Kohai.

I had some experience with the Senpai/Kohai relationship, and it is really an interesting relationship. When I was studying at a University in Tokyo, I had the opportunity to get a feel of what this type of relationship was like. I had entered the dorm, and thus I was a Kohai when you compared me to my RA. We had tight rules that we had to conform to in order to keep everything running smoothly. All of us had to greet everyone we walked past, and this included students, staff, outsiders, etc. Also when we entered and left the cafeteria we were required to say ﾂ"Shitsureshimasu,ﾂ" which is the equivalent to ﾂ"Please excuse me.ﾂ" Another thing was when we were showering there were no shower curtains, and they had only stall like walls, which did not give a person any privacy. Before we turned on the water, we were supposed to say ﾂ"Dashimasu,ﾂ" which is the equivalent to ﾂ"I'm turning on the water.ﾂ" The others were required to acknowledge this, and when my shower was over I had to say ﾂ"Tomemasu,ﾂ" which means ﾂ"I'm shutting off the water.ﾂ" As a Westerner, I thought these methods were a little strange, but my philosophy was pretty much, ﾂ"When in Rome do what the Romans do.ﾂ" I was one of the few Westerners that actually followed these guidelines, where the rest of these people labeled these procedures as ludicrous. We were required to join at least one committee in the dorm, and probably were expected to join two or three. In the West, since personal freedom is so apparent, we would never even fathom enforcing policies such as these.

Therefore, there is no need to be worried about these concerns when trying to decide if you want to study abroad in Japan. All you have to do is give it a chance, keep an open mind, and a little discipline never hurts anybody. I think studying abroad is probably one of the most memorable moments you will have in your life, so I would say definitely go and experience life in a totally different culture.

Alright you wanted exchange student experiences...here goes.

I came late August and I'm leaving in June...so in my slightly more than 3 months I've learned quite a bit.

I can deal with authority to a certain extent, but the people here, mainly adults (usually the teachers) can really get on my nerves about things like...for instance how I study Japanese. They are very adamant that there is only one way to learn, and I don't learn by rote memorization. It doesn't work for me and is a waste of time. But instead of letting me learn my own way people here seem to to think there is only one right way to do something. So I have to deal with people telling me daily that if I just studied harder I would learn more kanji. (Nobody has noticed that since I am doing 'Remembering the Kanji'...by some guy. Forgot his name. I learn the meanings first, then the readings. So I actually know more than 500 for meanings and of those I know a few readings for a ton of them as I see them around.) Anyway, getting off topic.

You also better be prepared to talk to only people of the same sex as you in your age group. At school there are very few guys that talk to girls beyond asking them if they can borrow an eraser, or what class is next. It's a bit weird, but liveable.

Also, you can't go anywhere without getting people stopping and pointing. Even worse if you understand Japanese since you know they are talking about you. Been quite a few times where I've wanted to turn around and shout at them but I have resisted so far.

Wherever you go I highly reccomend finding the other exchange students in the area and meeting up with them every once in a while, or text messaging. They are going through the same stuff you are and are great to talk to if you are having trouble or feel like you're gonna break down.

It took until last week for me to really get over the 'I hate Japan' attitude. I know almost everybody goes through it...but wow it was intense. You just...you get to this point where you just want to go home where people don't point, and you can just go home afterschool (not spend 2 hours in whatever club you are in), classes are understandable and you feel like you can ask questions, you have friends who you can have real conversations with...it just goes on and on.

That's enough of the negative. On the upside I'm learning a foreign language, I've learned a ton about life and other cultures, I met tons of really nice people, and I also know people from around the world now from talking to other exchange students. In the end it really is worth it, you just need to be ready for what you're getting into.

A few things you should consider is; Can you deal with authority? Are you willing to sit behind a desk for roughly 6 hours a day bored out of your mind? Can you stand the rather horrible moments when you mess up the language and everybody laughs at you? Can you be away from everything and everybody you've known for a year? It's harder than it looks. If you are really serious about going I would start studying Japanese now. I took summer school classes and got past Japanese 11 (canadian education system.) It gave me a huge head start and a major advantage in a country where people tell you that your japanese is wonderful if you can say hello.

Any other questions? I'll try my best to answer.

Sounds like gradeschool all over again. I've been laughed at plenty. Simple stuff to me. Where do I sign up?

Kamisama said:

Sounds like gradeschool all over again. I've been laughed at plenty. Simple stuff to me. Where do I sign up?

Click to expand...

Me too. I was bullied(or whatever it's called in english) for four years. I know what you're talkin' bout.

Bit different

DragonChan, I have to say our experiences differ a little bit. IVe been attendin Kochi Shogyo in Kochi City (Shikoku Island) since late September (around Sports Day) The main difference, I suppose, i that you mentioned that in your school the sexes are divided (friendship-wise) Not so here. Maybe it's because we have way more guys than girls, but the guys at my school tend to be very talkative with everyone, not just other guys. 2 of my 5 male classmates will speak to even me ( in loud english, its great) and 2 of the other 3 are very quite anyways. And even random senpai will talk to me ( My third year crush always tries out English on me )
I agree that being stared at and hearing the word 'gaijin' whenever you go downtown is really, really annoying, but, I must admit, I've never gone through a hating Japan phase. I've loved it since day one, pretty much. Probably because my classmates are super nice, and I've made good friends.
By the way, a) where do live ( what area, at least?) and b) how fast are you learning Japanese, and do you have any advice for someone who's really struggling. I feel so stupid sometimes

Kamisama - Why am I in your sig ?

Ciata - I live near Nagoya. And don't feel stupid. The first month my Japanese improved like crazy in the sense that I could suddenly distinguish the words when people were talking at normal speed, and I got over my fear of trying to use what I know. As for now...well I am not a good judge on myself, but I am getting better. Just slower.

Everybody learns at different speeds. Amoung the exchange students here, there are 5 that I talk to frequently. The two australians have been here almost a year. One can speak Japanese really really well, but isn't all too good at written. The other speaks ok and writes ok. Isn't too great at either but better than me. The other 3...well I have the best SPOKEN japanese out of the lot if it is informal, I'm not so good when it comes to formal stuff. But there is one guy who can read over 1500 kanji but can't speak particularily well. It really varies on the person and how they try to study...tons of stuff.

Is your school trying to help you? I find the school lessons very confusing. I have 3 JSL teachers who are using 3 different textbooks. One class is way too easy, one is perfect, and the last one is way too hard. So I get really confused just with that. I always bring stuff to school each day to study with: one textbook, some flashcards, and manga. (I read the manga before class if none of my friends are there, and in some of the boring classes if the teacher is the type that lets you.)

I end up feeling stupid too, when I'm talking to my friends. It's hard not being able to have real conversations about stuff beyond what characters I like or how boring the next class is. Just keep trying. My host family (younger host sister in particular) is the best when it comes to me learning.

As for guys in class. Well I really do want to talk to them but there are 8 of them and 33 girls. So they stick together and I've only seen two of them talk to girls. I'd LIKE to talk to them since they remind me much more of my friends at home. The girls here are really nice...but kinda...immature? Just not quite like the people I'm used to. I'm used to people always running around and playing pranks on each other, telling jokes. That sort.

The only guy that talks to me only every says 'HI' to me in hallways. Really loudly as he walks by. I haven't talked to him besides that. Since I only ever see him when I'm at club (volleyball.) And I stay as far away from the guys side as possible. Those spikes really REALLY hurt if you get close.