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The OFFICIAL Diru Thread of Lies

Me: *still 1 cm tall* Why is there so much noise... you big meany giants... I was trying to take a nap. *pouts*
Kaoru: *drops pinkkiller in his pocket*
Me: If you think that this will shut me up you've got another thing coming
Kaoru: *holding back laughter*
Me: Err... let me out I'll suffocate you know
Kaoru: If you think that you should save your breath then...
Me: MURDERER!!!
Aya: *waving wand around* How does this work?
Beam shoots out of wand and hits mirror then bounces off and hits Kaoru
Kaoru: *flys backwards down stairs*
Me: OMG! I'm gonna be squashed.... huh?!?!? I'm big...
Kaoru: Yea and your blocking my air supply
Me: Oh... hehe *blushes*
Kaoru: Are you gonna move or what?
Me: Oh.... Right? *gets up* .....*blink blink*
Kaoru: What?
Me: *nosebleed*
Kaoru: *looks down and realizes his pants are gone*
Me: *trying to stop the blood* ....they must have ripped when I grew... ummm... they must have ripped alot *gets dizzy from blood loss*
 
Me: *grabs Gackt again* Someone... Screamed...
Gackt: *choking*
Me: Ooops... *kisses Gackt better* *small fangirl squeal*
Gackt: . . .
Me: *feels brave now* Let's find that scream!
 
Me: TIDUS! *Isay and Endsight running to meet him* I... can't believe you came!!! *looks him over* You're... Tidus! ... I... am soo happy! *does strange dance*
Tidus: *looking confused* ... I... where am I?
Me: *laughing silly laugh* ha-ha, that's typical you, Tidus! You always end up somewhere other than Zanarkand, don't you! *winks at him*
Tidus: ... *is scared of Isay*
Me: You're looking great by the way, as always! *touches spiky hair* cool... *turns to Endsight* Isn't he cool? *agrees with her own statement*
Tidus: Who are all the others?
Me: *looking towards the others* They're... *sees Pinkkiller in normal size again and Kaoru with VERY ripped pants* Good Lord! *forgets Tidus for a while* Kaoru you're... your pants!!! *stares*
Kaoru: STOP looking and GET ME SOMETHING TO WEAR!
Me: Your pants are ripped...
Aya: Sorry! But at least Pinkkiller is back to normal! *proud*
Tidus: Who's the guy with no pants?
Kaoru: Shut up whoever you are!
Me: Your pants are ripped...
Aya: I might be able to make a pair of new pants appear.. *talks to himself*
Tidus: Who's the guy with pink hair?
Kaoru: *angry at Tidus* Don't you know ANYTHING blondie!?
Me: Your pants are ripped...
Aya: I think I'd be able to... if only I knew the right words...
Squall: Tidus!? Why you... I always envied you... you were in the newer game!
Tidus: I... I'm so confused! *sits down*
Kaoru: SOMEONE GET ME A PAIR OF NEW PANTS!!!! PINKKILLER STOP BLEEDING ALREADY AND FIX MY PANTS!!!
Me: Your pants are ripped...
---
---
Somewhere in the house
Miyavi: I hear someone shouting...
Toshiya: It's probably a ghost... *still trying to scare Myv*
Miyavi: Stop it, I'm not scared... I'm gonna find out who's screaming.. I'm off! *walks off*
Toshiya: Wait... ! Hey...! *runs after Myv* Don't you wanna be alone with me?
Miyavi: I guess, I don't mind, but... I wanna find the others...
Toshiya: ...
Miyavi: You were scared I'd leave you? *smile*
Toshiya: ... I wasn't!
Miyavi: *silent smile*
(Editors note: Aren't they KAWAII together!?)
Toshiya: Ok, I'll go with you... You still need someone to protect your little weak self!
Miyavi: Whatever...
*they walk off*
---
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Me: *still bleeding* I would if I could...
Kaoru: SOMEONE GET ME PANTS!
Me: ...and some tissues, please and thanks!
Gackt: You can get in my pants. *pops out of nowhere looking extremely sexed up*
Me: Are you trying to kill me... no yaoi now please I'll die... huh... Gackt???
Kaoru: *punches Gackt* You perv!
Gackt: *on the floor passed out*
Kaoru: *takes Gackt's pants and puts them on* ...God these are tight... I need another pair.
Aya: You ruined my moment
Kaoru: Give it up.
Aya: ...AND WHAT ABOUT MY REVENGE!!!
Me: Tissues... please. Woo... everything's spinning... I should sit down.
 
What band is the picture. And I seen somewhere that Toshiya smokes Virginia Slim Lights, Kaoru Mild Seven Lights, Die Salem Lights and Kyo Philip Morris.
 
Me: *grabs hold of Tidus* Come with me, we're moving in closer... *runs to Kaoru, Gackt and Pinkkiller*
Kaoru: Damn it all! These pants are waay to tight, I can't walk!
Me: *nosebleed running* I think they're great!
Tidus: Just let me go! *scared*
Aya: WAKE UP GACKT SO I CAN KICK YOUR ***!!
Gackt: ... *passed out*
Kaoru: Nevermind Gackt, he'll be asleep for a while... damn, the pants never looked that tight on him... *tries to move*
Me: Yeess, my precious... yesss... move more!
Kaoru: Can someone help Pinkkiller, or she'll loose to much blood...
Aya: Damn you, Gackt! Wake up! *shakes Gackt*
Kaoru: Where are the others? Toshiya might have a pair of extra pants... *tries to move around again* These pants are REALLY tight!
Me: MOVE AGAIN KAORU! *great big ultra nosebleed*
Tidus: Let me outa here! *tries to flee but finds himself handcuffed with isayhello*
Gackt: Un...
Aya: He's regaining consciousness! Now I can finally beat him up! *gets ready*
Gackt: Urg... Ow...
Me: Gackt isn't wearing any pants. *is in shock and doesn't realize what she's saying OR seing*
Aya: Come on, Gackt! Stand up! I'll kick your ***! *jumps around in silly way*
Kaoru: Damn you Gackt! Who wears tight pants like these anyways!?
Me: Pinkkiller, stop having a nosebleed already and come watch this, there'll be a great fight between Gackt-no-pants, Aya and Kaoru-tight-pants... You REALLY wouldn't wanna miss this...
--
--
Toshiya x Miyavi - Alone in scary House Version 1.5 Episode 4
Toshiya: I hear someone screaming.
Miyavi: Would you stop it? You've been trying to scare me for an hour now... I'm not falling for it!
Toshiya: No, seriously, I DO hear someone screaming. Sounds like Aya...
Miyavi: *listens* ... Oh yeah, you're right.. that IS Aya...
Toshiya: Can't be too far away... sounds like he's angry?
Miyavi: Hurry! We'll catch up with them for sure! *runs*
Toshiya: Hey! Wait! *runs after*
---
(Editors note: Did that last episode of Toshiya x Miyavi - seem to have no point or meaning? Don't worry; it's just build up for something exciting that's to come... *evil mad crazy fan girl giggle*)
 
Me: *stands up* Everything's still spinning... is it dark in here or what? *looks at Kaoru in tight pants and Gackt in no pants* Oh crap... why do they do this to me *bleeds more*
Aya: Put 'em up Gackt... are you scared? Your scared huh? I would be too if I were you?
Gackt: What the hell... right I'm scared of a guy in a pink wig and frilly dress?
Aya: You'll sooo pay for that.
Gackt: Uh huh... sure?
Kaoru: Damn these pants. *tries to move around*
Me: No stop you'll make the bleeding worse... your not here... *closes eyes*
Kaoru: No your not gonna ignore me again are you?
Me: I'm in a field... flowers everywhere... no pretty jrockers... no noselbleeds... *tries to imagine her nosebleed away*
Kaoru: Err... stop it your being foolish
Me: That was not Kaoru talking just now... that was.... that was... a bear... right! a bear *convinces herself* oh crap it's chasing... it's gonna eat me... *falls over*
Kaoru: Are you ok?
Me: *opens eyes* Did it eat me?
Kaoru: No you were imagining it all.
Me: Oh good. *sigh of relief*
Kaoru: You're a weird one... hey your wearing pants and a skirt... give me the pants
Me: *blink* You can have the skirt... *grins evilly*
Kaoru: I want the pants!
Me: NO! Skirt or nothing...
Kaoru: Fine! ...hey your nosebleed stopped!
Me: Hey it did... *takes off skirt and hands it to Kaoru*
Kaoru: *takes off pants and puts on skirt*
Me: *realizes she saw Kaoru pantsless again* Oh crap...not again *nosebleed*
 
Aya: Ok, ok ... *jumping around*.. come on.. I'll kick you ***... *jumping around some more*
Kaoru: *ignoring Aya* Damn you Pinkkiller, you happy now, when I'm wearing a SKIRT?
Me: *giggle* You look good in a skirt.. *tries to peek under it*
Kaoru: Stop that! *sits down*
Gackt: Can I have my pants back now? *still wearing no pants*
Aya: I'll kick your ***! *still jumping around*
Me: Aya... calm down.... Gackt already got beaten up once...
Aya: But that was Kaoru! I want my share. I want my revenge!
Gackt: I... Aya... do we have to fight? *dizzy from having been hit*
Aya: Eh?
Gackt: I'm really sorry that I tried to eat you. I was hungry (I am still) and I really had forgotten that you were a potato...
Aya: And that's the truth?
Gackt: That's the truth. *emotional*
Aya: I was damn scared!! *calms down* But... I guess... I'm not a potato anymore.
Gackt: So you wont beat me up?
Aya: I... no. *has forgiven Gackt*
Me: *cries* That's sooo beautiful! You guys! *tries to hug them*
Aya and Gackt: Err... *uncomfortable*
Kaoru: Can we go now? I wanna eat, let's find that dinner table from before...
Me: YaY! Food! Come Tidus! *Tidus is still handcuffed to Isayhello*
Tidus: Would you let me go?
Me: What? I can't hear you... *ignores Tidus*
Gackt: Where the HELL are my pants?
Me: ... *has hidden Gackts pants*
Kaoru: I put them right here... strange..
Gackt: I can't walk around like THIS!
Me: Why not? *nosebleed*
Aya: Ok, guys, let's go. Let's go and eat - everybody follow me! *leader*
Everyone: Ya! Let's go! *cheerfull!*
Gackt: But... my pants... *follows after with no pants*
Me: *sees Phantasmagoria lying on the floor curled up in a ball* Hey. You. Wanna come with us and get something to eat? Gackt's here, and he's wearing no pants!
---
--
(Toshiya x Miyavi - Alone in Scary House episode 5 still under production)
 
He's what?! *jumps up and uses Gackt's hidden trousers to wipe her face, then throws them out the window* mmm... Gackt with no pants...
Gackt: Was that my pa--
Me: No. Those were not your pants. I don't know where your pants are. I have never touched your pants. They feel weird... Not like I've touched them or anything. Your pants were never near me. Apart from when I landed on you... But no. I don't have your pants. *takes Gackt's shirt to soak up the nosebleed* *nosebleed gets worse* ...dammit.
 
Me: *realizes Gackt is now pantsless and shirtless and stares crazily*
Kaoru: *rolls eyes* C'mon... mine bigger than that
Me: Wha?!?!
Kaoru: ...and I don't crush it in tight pants
Me: *blinks* ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!
Kaoru: No...
Me: You are better looking... you my favorite.
Kaoru: Ehh... your only saying that cause I'm in a skirt.
Me: No... infact I think you make a terrible woman.
Kaoru: What? Then why did you give me the skirt.
Me: Cause I want to...
Kaoru: Ughhh...
Me: Hey Kaoru it's my birthday... you should give me a present.
Kaoru: What... do you mean?
Me: Can I have your guitar?
Kaoru: NO!
 
*nosebleed just keeps getting worse*
Me: Bigger, hm? Prove it! In fact... *looking at blood on the floor from nosebleeds* It can wait...
Gackt: *death stares at Kaoru*
 
*walks in from nowhere*
Me: Gackt? Kaoru? No pants? Whoo hoo! *points to signature at bottom of my post*
Isay:He has on no pants...
Me:Hey what's with the nosebleeds?
(Editor's note: The national blood bank would love this 😊 )
Tidus:please get her off of me! I'm starting to smell like blood!!
Me:Sorry Tidus,but I can't help you there *keeps looking at Gackt-no-clothes*
Tidus:WHY DAMMIT!
Me:Ummm...*notices Tidus' bare chest; gets nosebleed* help?! Someone get me a tissue and a blindfold
Hyde: Okay but can you tell me something? Where's Tetsu?
Me:My Damn nose is bleeding and your asking me where Tetsu is?! * realizes that my beau is missing; nosebleed instantly stops*
EVERYONE FIND HIM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Me: *close to passing out from lack of blood* Right... Let's go... I'm walking in front so this might go away...

[you're right, they'd kill for it!]

*walks ahead and refuses to look back til the nosebleed stops* Thank god, it's away. I need new clothes *blood soaked*
 
Me: *nosebleed like the rest* Would... you... put... something on... to cover... yourself... Gackt...
Gackt: *challenging* No way! I'm not ashamed! I've got nothing to hide! *glaring at Kaoru*
Me: ... *unable to speak because of nosebleed*
Kaoru: Oh yeah? You're pleased with yourself, aren't you? *glaring at Gackt*
Gackt: As a matter of fact I am! *stands proud*
All girls: *dies*
Kaoru: No wonder... always running around naked in commercials ... Like you're some kind of Sex-God or something! PAH!
All girls: *chorus* HE IS HE IS HE IS!
Gackt: Why should I be ashamed!! At least I don't try to cover up my body with a bunch of visual kei clothes... (not at the moment at least)
Kaoru: I have NO need for covering up my body!! *starts taking off his shirt*
All girls: *DIES*
Me: This is the happiest moment of my life!!
Gackt: Ha! Trying to beat me when it comes to nudity, are you!!?
Kaoru: *Takes off skirt* See.. see... I'm not ashamed! I'm PROUD!
All girls: *DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES*
Aya: You guys really killed them this time!
---
---
(Toshiya x Miyavi Alone in Scary House, version 1.5 Episode 5)
Toshiya: Damn.. Wait up Miyavi!!! *panting*
Miyavi: What?
Toshiya: We've been running since we heard Aya shout, and we haven't found them yet... You don't think we're lost? We must have been running in the wrong direction...
Miyavi: You might be right...
Toshiya: So.. where are we now? *looks around* It's some kind of fancy bedroom..
(editors note: Please reread the last word; BEDROOM)
Miyavi: Damn, this house is too big. I wanna get out of here!
Toshiya: I wanna find the others...
*silent moment*
Toshiya: If we go t... *lights go out, room gets totally dark* WHAT? WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?
Miyavi: The lights went out! Where are you? *scared*
Toshiya: I'm here! *somewhere in the room* Where are you?
Miyavi: I'm right here!! *scared* Damn, I don't like this... *hears strange noise* What was that!?!
Toshiya: You heard something?
Miyavi: Y.. yeah... something... strange... *scared* I... Where are you Toshiya?
Toshiya: I'm... err... wait... I'm by the bed... it's in the middle of the room..
Miyavi: Ok.. err... I'll try and feel my way to you... damn it's dark... !
Toshiya: I'll be right here waiting, don't worry...
(Editors note: *singing* YAOIYAOIYAOI-dreaaaam!)
(ending of episode 5. )
 
Me: NOOOOOOOO!!!! ISAY!!!! I just got that nosebleed stopped!!!! (Is it loss of blood making me dizzy... or...?)
Gackt: Oh, that's all you're doing? Scared?!
Kaoru: Scared? Me? pfft *zip*
 
Me: *is really dead*
Gackt: You killed her
Kaoru: That's right.... cause I am bigger and better
Me: *spirit pops out of corpse* Hello... I'm dead can someone help me... ohhhh I feel all light and airy... *floats around* This is kinda nice
Kaoru: Haha... I can see through you.
Me: Well... I can fly through you *does so*
Gackt: Hey I wanna be a ghost too... I wanna fly through people
Me: *sticks her hand through Gackt's face and laughs* This is so great... I can't have nosebleeds... go ahead and yaoi for me boys... *sits down midair and waits*
Kaoru: No way...
Gackt: Yea right...
Me: Fine... I'll go find Toshiya and Miyavi... those two are up to something... *floats through wall*
 
Me: *awakens from death* Hey.. I.. I'm alive again!
Kaoru: Yes, but Pinkkiller died for real. She's a ghost.
Me: Really! Where!? *looking for her*
Kaoru: She flew away... said something about yaoi and Toshiya and Miyavi.... Dunno!
Me: ... Damn, I missed her! I wanna be a ghost too!
Gackt: So do I! *agreeing*
Kaoru: So why don't you just die then?
Kaoru and Isayhello: Err...
Me: I think death is painful... *scared*
Aya: Then don't die. Let's instead move on. We've been standing here for some time and we're getting nowhere. Are we going to find that dinner table or what?
Tidus: I'm hungry too.. *small voice*
Me: Tidus!!! *has realized that Tidus is handcuffed to her arm*
Tidus: (scary person...)
Me: Why, you're handcuffed! You poor person... who did this to you?
Tidus: (scary person... she can't even remember SHE was the one who did it...)
Me: Why soo quiet? Here, I'll release you! *brings out key and uncuffs Tidus* There!
Tidus: Yatta! *jumps around*
Me: Kawaii...
Tidus: Bye, scary person!!! *gets the hell out of here*
Me: WAIT! ... damn, he escaped... *cries*
Kaoru: Are we going?
Aya: Ok, let's go...
Gackt: *mumbling to himself* (and... you're NOT bigger than I am... baka! )
---
(Toshiya x Miyavi Alone in Scary House version 1.5 Episode 6)
Miyavi: Wait.. I feel something... *still completely dark in the room*
Toshiya: Do you feel a bed..? Cause that's where I'm at.
Miyavi: Hm... yes... Damn, I hate the dark!
Toshiya: Don't worry, OK? See... there's nothing to worry about when you're two peope... we'll be safe! I.. OUCH! *Miyavi bumping into Toshiya*
Miyavi: Ouch. There you are.
Toshiya: Yeah... ouch... you found me. Hi.
Miyavi: *awkward* Err.. yeah.. hi. I'm sorry for being scared and all...*blush*
Warning YAOI - Toshiya: It's OK.. You're kinda cute when you blush, even in the dark.. *smile*
Miyavi: Shut up! *smile*
*silence*
Miyavi: So... it's still dark...
Toshiya: Um. Yeah. It's OK, though. *smile* I'm saying... I feel fine... *puts his own hand into Miyavis* ...
Miyavi: A... ano... !
Toshiya: Sorry... I just...
Miyavi: It's OK. *grabs hold of Toshiyas other hand* It's OK...
(END of Episode 6! What will happen next? Will the light return? Will Toshiya and Miyavi express their true feelings? Will Pinkkiller The Ghost get to them in time to watch some yaoi? Will Isayhello have the courage to keep on writing such a nasty story? Will... err... I.. nevermind! Goodnight!)
 
Me: *floats around aimlessly* Hmm... I hear something over there by that wall... that is Toshiya's voice *gets all excited*
Miyavi: Toshiya... you know... you remind me of me
Toshiya: What?? *blushing*
Miyavi: No... no that's the highest compliment one can recieve
Me: *pokes head in* Ohhh
Toshiya: Did you hear that? *clings to miyavi*
Me: *hold back giggles* Ooooooohohohohoh
Miyavi: Yea... *clings tighter*
Me: *thinking "this is great fun"*
Toshiya: You think... it's a ghost
Miyavi: I don't know... we should go under covers? *pulls covers over both of them*
Me: Damn! *floats over to bedside and pokes head through covers*

(doesn't have the courage to continue this any further.... erm... Isay 😌)
 
[...waiting patiently]

me: Hurry up and stop being suicidal mornons! I stuck a secret camera to Miyavi, you'll see it all... if I can find the goddamn reciever... *looks through pockets* aha!

Miyavi: Ah! I just felt this weird cold... and it's not going away...
Toshiya: I feel it too... Maybe we should huddle togehter for warmth? *opens his extrememly large shirt (it would have to be) and pulls Miyavi closer then pulls it closed around Miyavi;s back* Any better?
Miyavi: Not really... but this feels good, ne?
 
Toshiya x Miyavi Alone in Scary House version 1.5 Episode 7
(Editors note: Isayhello has suddenly realized she's more of a shonen-ai fan girl than a hardcore yaoi one. Therefore, this series will continue no further on the.. ehrm.. more sexually advanced topics. :LOL: This shonen-ai series will now continue to be overly romantic, cute and suggestive...)
Miyavi: *under covers with Toshiya* We did take cover, didn't we? *laugh*
Toshiya: Mm. Yeah..
*silence*
Miyavi: It's... quite hot...
Toshiya: Um... yeah... *suddenly realizing how close he is to Miyavi*
Miyavi: *suddenly realizing how close he is to Toshiya* ...
Toshiya: You. Are.. You're.. I.. you're.. quite... pretty. *blush*
Miyavi: *BLUSH* What was that good for!! *blush* I... don't... you're.. you didn't have to say that!
Toshiya: Sorry. But.. you are! *blush*
Miyavi: Whatever! *pretending to be angry*
*silence*
Miyavi: So are you.
Toshiya: What?
Miyavi: *blush* Stupid! So are you! I mean.. you're... also pretty.
Toshiya: *BLUSH* Thanks...
*they continue to lie under the covers*
(Episode 7 ending)
---
Somewhere else in the house:
Isayhello: I... somehow I feel that there's something wonderful going on somewhere in this house... something I shouldn't miss... *has turned on yaoi radar*... Maybe it's just my imagination! *tries to ignore feeling*
 
[Someone had to do it!!!]

Me: *load rumble from stomach* I want food.... *thinks of pizza and a dreamy smile spreads over her face* coming?
Gackt: well... if I was dead, I couldn't eat, could I?
Me: YOU'RE NOT DEAD!
Gackt: FINE! *shuffles away in front*
 
*Endsight awakes suddenly*
Me:Did someone say food?
Aya:Nice to see you up and running *sarcastically*
*Pinkkiller floats through a wall*
Me: What the hell! was that Pinkkiller? The strip show was hot but sheesh!
Gackt:So who do you think one?
Kaoru:Let's not start this again...you know that it's me.
Me:*mentally and visually trapped* Can I use a lifeline?
Aya:Cosidering that everyone here has been desiring death, the lifeline has been disconnected.
Hyde:"Heading for the sun...leave the sadness behind. Crossing oceans dry...deep inside i go...Spirit Dreams Inside..."
Me:*giggles and alergies begin* Well being a spirit isn't so bad *ACHOO*Oh poopie.
 
Hey guys, not to change the subject, but can you check out the "Sequels to die 4" thread? Thanks a bunch!!
 
Me: Why it's so dark in here? YOU do you have a flashlight
YOU: Dah! Does it look like I have a flashlight?
Me: I so.. frustrated!
 
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