Resources for a Japanese woman contemplating divorce?

Greetings -
Some background:
-I'm an American man, living in America.
-My wife of five years is Japanese, and has been living in America for about 20 years.
-My in-laws live in Japan and are retired. My wife's sister is a high-functioning autistic who lives with them.
My wife is close to her mom and sister, but her father has been a jerk all her life, and his demeanor is getting worse in his old age. He drinks and is verbally abusive; it's not 100% clear, but I suspect he may also be physically abusive.
It seems like divorce would be a good option for my mother-in-law, but there's a lot of uncertainty. One big issue is money: apparently they have some savings, but my father-in-law manages their finances exclusively, and it's unclear whether these resources could be disclosed/split upon divorce.
What resources are there in Japan to help women who are victims of domestic abuse? I assume once she's in contact with them, they could advise her on the practicalities of getting a divorce there, and possibly point her toward legal counsel.
Thanks for any assistance...

Welcome to the forum.

First of all, your wife should find out the facts. Does her father physically abuse her mother/sister? Is her mother looking for a divorce? Does her mother need her daughter/son-in-law's help?

If yes, you should tell her to go down to the city hall (most local municipalities offer free consultation). They should be able to tell her what her options are.

Is it your mother-in-law who is contemplating divorce or you who is contemplating her divorce? It sounds more like the latter.

MOL is Japanese living in Japan and possibly thinking of divorce. You are not Japanese and you live in the U.S. Why do you think you should / can help her find the information she needs?

Isn't your wife more logically the choice?
Doesn't your MOL know enough to help herself?

A husband exclusively managing the home finances is a rarity in Japan. I'm quite surprised that your MOL hasn't done that.

DV info
Japan With Kids - Forums: Domestic Violence Assistance
http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/nn20091107f1.html
Japan Adopts Tough Domestic Violence Law - Women's eNews
http://www.nic-nagoya.or.jp/en/dailyliving/foreignerassistance/domesticviolence.htm

Mike Cash said:

Is it your mother-in-law who is contemplating divorce or you who is contemplating her divorce? It sounds more like the latter.

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In the absence of any other information, suppose for a moment that you suspected physical abuse. Wouldn't you feel the same way?

Having said that, I'm sorry for not providing more information. My wife doesn't talk to her dad. When her mom wants to talk, she calls us, let it ring twice, then hangs up, and does the same again; then my wife calls back. This way her parents' phone bill doesn't have any record of a long-distance phone call, since it would enrage her dad to know that her mom was communicating without him. As often as not, these phone calls are followed by tearful reports of how unhappy her mom is with her dad's behavior. Lately it's gotten worse; a few weeks ago her dad called, and with her mom also on the phone, he was rambling and raging nonsense at everyone.

Glenski said:

MOL is Japanese living in Japan and possibly thinking of divorce. You are not Japanese and you live in the U.S. Why do you think you should / can help her find the information she needs?
Isn't your wife more logically the choice?

Doesn't your MOL know enough to help herself?

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My wife left Japan when she was 18 (as a high school exchange student), and has been living here in the US for 20+ years. Although she speaks Japanese and knows plenty about Japanese culture, she knows roughly as much as I do about life as an independent adult in Japan.

re: MIL, she seems bound by a kind of fatalistic outlook, paralyzed when it comes to even exploring her options. "Shō ga nai" comes to mind. Although that phrase is Japanese, the mindset it describes seems common to victims of domestic abuse, and I'm not entirely surprised that someone who has tolerated such treatment for 40 years would be suffering from inertia. It's worth mentioning that my FIL has been hospitalized a couple of times in recent years, and my MIL (and my wife's sister) were both very happy during those times - not so much with the fact that my FIL was hospitalized, but rather by the peaceful home environment they enjoyed in his absence. Such happiness and tranquility ought to be the rule, not the exception.

My wife's outlook is informed by a similar sense of helplessness; whenever I start to ask questions, she has reasons why it's not even worth the effort of exploring further.

So that's why I feel I should offer help.

Why do I feel like I can help? This is exactly what the internet is good at: connecting physically distant people and facilitating the exchange of esoteric information not available at one's local library. Although I am not Japanese and do not live in Japan, but I am fairly resourceful, and I am optimistic that somewhere on the web - possibly on a discussion forum such as this one, dedicated to discussing the practicalities of living in Japan - I will connect with someone who has experience/knowledge in this area and will be able to answer my questions.

Glenski said:

A husband exclusively managing the home finances is a rarity in Japan. I'm quite surprised that your MOL hasn't done that.

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Well, somebody has to be that 1 in 100; I guess my in-laws are a statistical outlier.

Glenski said:

DV info

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Thanks for the links; I will take a look.