Japanese parents.
- Thread starter Damicci
- Start date
epigene
相変わらず不束者です
- 10 Nov 2004
- 4,354
- 179
Damicci,
You know very well that a parent's reaction to seeing a daughter's boyfriend varies by the person in the US, and the same is true for Japanese parents, too. Some can be ultraconservative, some are very liberal, and many fall in between, varying by degree. We can never tell how her parents will react, since we've never met Rieko-san or her family. The only thing you can do is to be your sincerest self, and your effort to communicate to them in Japanese can score points, too, even if it's not perfect.
From what you've said in the past, I think there is a chance for you since the parents have sent off her sister to study abroad, right? They must at least have the willingness to allow their children to leave Japan and see the world. (There are in fact many parents who want to keep their kids close to home and won't let them go abroad, even when they have the financial resources and the kids plead to them that they want to go.)
Also, practice your "teinei-go" rather than the way you'd speak to your girlfriend or other Japanese friends.
Just be brave and do it!
You know very well that a parent's reaction to seeing a daughter's boyfriend varies by the person in the US, and the same is true for Japanese parents, too. Some can be ultraconservative, some are very liberal, and many fall in between, varying by degree. We can never tell how her parents will react, since we've never met Rieko-san or her family. The only thing you can do is to be your sincerest self, and your effort to communicate to them in Japanese can score points, too, even if it's not perfect.
From what you've said in the past, I think there is a chance for you since the parents have sent off her sister to study abroad, right? They must at least have the willingness to allow their children to leave Japan and see the world. (There are in fact many parents who want to keep their kids close to home and won't let them go abroad, even when they have the financial resources and the kids plead to them that they want to go.)
Also, practice your "teinei-go" rather than the way you'd speak to your girlfriend or other Japanese friends.
Just be brave and do it!
Damicci
先輩
- 4 Nov 2003
- 2,479
- 52
- Thread starter
- #32
I am planning on using nothing but teinei-go but as I mentioned before. I am sure I will struggle with some spoken grammar points. I have no fear really of meeting them. I am more worried about my lack of being able to communicate.
I think if they feel my Japanese is not adequate. Then they may also feel that I coul dnot possibly properly support thier daughter in america while she is learning english.
I think if they feel my Japanese is not adequate. Then they may also feel that I coul dnot possibly properly support thier daughter in america while she is learning english.
epigene
相変わらず不束者です
- 10 Nov 2004
- 4,354
- 179
I wouldn't put it in the same way, but I agree with CCI.
You are worried that what you say in Japanese might be taken erroneously?
Honestly speaking, it'll take a lot of time way past November if you want 100% confidence in your command of Japanese. (How about a couple of years, at least?
)
I have seen people in the course of learning a language make mistakes in points of grammar, but Japanese with common sense can pick what you are trying to say.
I also believe personality shows through communication (even with grammar errors). Plus, you have your girlfriend to give you support and correct mistakes, if it should be interpreted wrongly by her parents.
As I said in my earlier posts, your effort is what counts.
Just keep on doing what you can do until the day arrives!
You are worried that what you say in Japanese might be taken erroneously?
Honestly speaking, it'll take a lot of time way past November if you want 100% confidence in your command of Japanese. (How about a couple of years, at least?
)I have seen people in the course of learning a language make mistakes in points of grammar, but Japanese with common sense can pick what you are trying to say.
I also believe personality shows through communication (even with grammar errors). Plus, you have your girlfriend to give you support and correct mistakes, if it should be interpreted wrongly by her parents.
As I said in my earlier posts, your effort is what counts.
Just keep on doing what you can do until the day arrives!
Damicci
先輩
- 4 Nov 2003
- 2,479
- 52
- Thread starter
- #35
Ok I want dramatize the section anymore. I hear all your points and will just do what I can.
Epigene I thank you for your words, and I know I won't be perfect when meeting time comes around I just hate to be "interpreted" instead of "understood". I want to know that what I am saying is correct and if not please correct me. This is my biggest frustration with the language. And with speaking with Japanese people. Some will correct you and others will "interpret" and just continue on. Oh well. Thanks for the advice peoples.
ganbarimasu
Epigene I thank you for your words, and I know I won't be perfect when meeting time comes around I just hate to be "interpreted" instead of "understood". I want to know that what I am saying is correct and if not please correct me. This is my biggest frustration with the language. And with speaking with Japanese people. Some will correct you and others will "interpret" and just continue on. Oh well. Thanks for the advice peoples.
ganbarimasu
Hi,Damicci san.
I've just noticed this thread right now.
I'd like to give you some of my feeling and thoughts.
I'll write two worries as a girl's mother. (If I were her mother...)
The biggest worry or concern is how or why you had a son and why you divorced. (You don't have to answer about this here. I'm just writing my thoughts.)
I would worry about this because it might show how you'll deal with my dauther in the future.
I don't think it's a good choice to hide it in the meeting.
However it would be better to tell it after having an enough conversation.
And tell them how much you love your son, and of course how much you love her.
The next one is how my daughter has thought about the relationship with your son and if you are ready for some difficult situations which you might come across in the future.
I think you've already thought about them deeply.
Besides it's your business not a parents' business.
But if you tried a lot to explain your thoughts to her parents, it would give a very good feeling to them.
You've already tried to learn Japanese very hard .
It's already a very strong positive point as Epigene san said.
You don't have to worry about whether your Japanese is correct or not.
I hope my English makes sense and doesn't confuse Damicci.
I've just noticed this thread right now.
I'd like to give you some of my feeling and thoughts.
I'll write two worries as a girl's mother. (If I were her mother...)
The biggest worry or concern is how or why you had a son and why you divorced. (You don't have to answer about this here. I'm just writing my thoughts.)
I would worry about this because it might show how you'll deal with my dauther in the future.
I don't think it's a good choice to hide it in the meeting.
However it would be better to tell it after having an enough conversation.
And tell them how much you love your son, and of course how much you love her.
The next one is how my daughter has thought about the relationship with your son and if you are ready for some difficult situations which you might come across in the future.
I think you've already thought about them deeply.
Besides it's your business not a parents' business.
But if you tried a lot to explain your thoughts to her parents, it would give a very good feeling to them.
You've already tried to learn Japanese very hard .
It's already a very strong positive point as Epigene san said.
You don't have to worry about whether your Japanese is correct or not.
I hope my English makes sense and doesn't confuse Damicci.
Last edited:
MajideSaiaku
tsuyaku o tsukete kudasai
- 19 Jan 2005
- 1,381
- 59
My girlfriends mother loves me like a son, so all in all being myself worked wonders.
Then again not all families are the same.
I think really, its your partner that needs to do most convincing that you are good, you can big yourself up as the perfect partner all you want, but at least as a mother is concerned, she needs to know that her daughter really loves you and you love her, and that you will be there for her.
Then again not all families are the same.
I think really, its your partner that needs to do most convincing that you are good, you can big yourself up as the perfect partner all you want, but at least as a mother is concerned, she needs to know that her daughter really loves you and you love her, and that you will be there for her.
MajideSaiaku
tsuyaku o tsukete kudasai
- 19 Jan 2005
- 1,381
- 59
And "Are babies born with beards and run around after birth where your from?".
Sorry, I remember reading this as being an apparent opinion of westerners back in the sengoku jidai.
Sorry, I remember reading this as being an apparent opinion of westerners back in the sengoku jidai.
Please don't let this happen to me.Similar threads
