Is it wrong?or not?

ASHIKAGA said:
As you get older, it becomes harder and harder to meet people. Take me, for example. When I get home from work at night, the last thing I'd want to do is get myself prettied up and go out to wherever and socialize with potential mates.
Also, you have a better control over the "pace" of the relationships online. You reveal as much or as little information as you feel comfortable with.
Another thing is that online, you get to "meet" people you would have NEVER met in real life. This goes beyond just dating. I am relatively new to the world of the internet, so I still have those moments when I stop and think how amazing it is that I get to communicate with all these people. People of all ages from all over the world.
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Yeah, I s'pose. But I guess I'm talking about the teens. Since most addults are busy with work and such.

To tell you the truth... I'm not even thinking of that, lol. I need to stop playing video games. :p
 
No, I don't think it's 'wrong'. I think Tsuyoiko's post was good. :)

However, of course you have to bear in mind that someone might not be in real life quite like they project on the internet! (There are extreme examples, but also less technicolour ones!)

Also, there's nothing wrong with 'meeting' someone online, but if you develop 'romantic' type feelings towards them which are reciprocated, you really have to meet in the flesh! I mean, if you care about each other so much, you are going to want to make the effort, aren't you?! Even if you are on opposite sides of the world, you can arrange it once, for sure! 👍
 
It's very simple, and yet so hard for so many people:

- What you think or feel can never be "wrong"
- It's what you DO that matters.

You can feel guilty all you want about thoughts and feelings, and you should deal with those if they bother you, but remember, nobody is hurt but you unless you act on them.
 
I dont tend to give that credit to people I met online for the first few months.....you dont know what kind of people hiding behind the screens. I do something like a study on those people........I simply cant trust on anyone
but I have few online friends that I can rely on when I need an advice
 
I would argue that you can't investigate people. If you look at this forum, there are limited sources of information. Not to mention that people do in fact have the brains to be able to hide what they don't want others to know about them. What you will find is limited to what I voluntarily made available to the public.
 
isuzu_bathory said:
Do you think it is wrong to have a crush for someone that you don't even know for "real", I mean with who you never met in person before?
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Think of it this way
You can make friend son the internet right? Few people will deny that (though some will because of personal experience or downright contrariness ^^)
So why cant you fall in love with some one on the net?
Granted it is difficult because you dont physically know them, but if theyre honest, hey why not.
Even if you find out later that they werent who they appeared to be, ask yourself, "what drew me to this person?" and youre closer to finding the person for you 😊
Personally, my dad fell in love with a woman in China (we live in america)over the internet and they are now married 👍
 
I have dated people online (two that I met here on jref!) and I met one in person. (He lives in Illinois and I live in Oklahoma) He came down to see me and we had a great time. He was everything he said he was and he was an amazing guy. But, sometime after we met, I started to feel differently. I didn't feel the same way about him, and I lost interest romantically. He and I broke up and even today we still talk and I consider him a good friend because he knows everything about me. Now I am engaged to a guy that went to school with me and I am happy. I did love him, no matter that we had met online, and what Nall-ohki said about what you feel can never be wrong is right. Just because you like someone you've never met doesn't make those feelings any less real. I've been through this a few times and I know from personal experience. The thing you have to remember is that if you can't see each other often then it isn't going to work out because the physical aspect will always be missing.
 
You weren't in love. You're only 16, you can't understand love. Most people no matter how old they are they can't.

I met a great girl online by chance. I have more feelings for her than I ever had for anyone else, but neither of us would pursue a relationship. We can't actually be together so it's pointless. I don't know what the future holds, but as long as we're just someone over the phone or the computer to each other we'll just be friends.

I don't think you can fall in love with someone you can't physically be with, especially if you're young. No matter if everyone is completely honest and are all they say they are.
 
Why do people think that because you're young you can't be in love? Love isn't something that can be defined by your age. Feelings come from your soul, no matter how old you are. If you can feel hatred and sadness at any time in your life then why can't you be in love? I don't believe in being cynical or jaded when it comes to what I feel and no one will tell me how I have felt about anyone, because to decide whether I have been in love or not is up to me and no one else.
Besides, I already pointed out it didn't work out, but love doesn't come only in romantic form. I loved him as a friend, not as a significant other. That is why it didn't work. I believe that you can fall in love no matter what the circumstances, because it is an emotional aspect not a physical one. Sure there is a point where it can become physical, but first you have to develop the emotional part and thats all about communication.
 
Juliet was 14 if i remember correctly.
Does that mean she wasnt really in love?
What about Tristan and Isolde? They were young too
 
Those are also fairy tales.

When you're young your inexperienced. You don't have anything to compare to. You can feel strongly for someone, but it doesn't mean it's love.

I would have quoted an article/guide here, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be acceptable because of all the profanity. -_-

Love is permanent and unconditional. If you say were in love you're wrong. No matter what the person you love does you'll always love the,. All these people who say they're not in love anymore were never in love in the first place.
 
isuzu_bathory said:
Well I have a question, which may seem stupid to some people and to others not...
Do you think it is wrong to have a crush for someone that you don't even know for "real", I mean with who you never met in person before?
Is it wrong or is it okay?
What do you think?
I've been seeing a lot of people who fall for each other by just chatting on internet...
So I was asking myself if it would be wrong or not☝
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I haven't met anyone through chats or "Internet" that I have had friendship with but I think it's normal and ok, we have crushes on artist that we had never met so why not have one with someone you like talking to? :-)
 
Drew-san said:
Those are also fairy tales.
When you're young your inexperienced. You don't have anything to compare to. You can feel strongly for someone, but it doesn't mean it's love.
I would have quoted an article/guide here, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be acceptable because of all the profanity. -_-
Love is permanent and unconditional. If you say were in love you're wrong. No matter what the person you love does you'll always love the,. All these people who say they're not in love anymore were never in love in the first place.
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Just because I'm young doesn't mean I'm inexperienced in the matter of love. You don't know my circumstances or who I am, so who are you to judge me? I know there is a difference between loving someone and being in love, but romantic love is really just platonic love gone a little deeper. Love is unconditional and permanent, and I do still love them. My first love left me,I haven't spoken to him in almost three years. I still think about him from time to time and it still hurts every now and then. I loved him a lot and you can't tell me I didn't because I know what I feel and no amount of articles or whatever stupid bullshit you can come up with will ever make me think twice. I really don't give a damn whether you think I've been in love or not, because you aren't me and you have no idea how I or anyone else but yourself has felt so you can just shove off...
 
Just because you think you're in love doesn't mean you are is the point.
You can say you're in love all day and it won't make a difference.
I loved him a lot and you can't tell me I didn't because I know what I feel and no amount of articles or whatever stupid bullshit you can come up with will ever make me think twice.
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Doesn't help the teenage stereotypes.

I don't need to know you, in fact you're only 16 you don't even know yourself yet.

And for the other girl.
In William Shakespeare's play, Romeo and Juliet, Romeo and Juliet were not truly in love. More than anything what they shared was a lust for one another. It would have been impossible for the two teenagers to be in love because they had just met, they were both too young and immature as well as unrealistic.

Romeo and Juliet could not have possibly been in love having just met. True love and appreciation of a person takes time. They had hardly had a complete conversation before they kissed and started proclaiming their love for one another. They were more in love with the idea of falling in love and each other's looks than actually being in love. Their physical attraction caused them to believe they had an emotional attraction as well. The two young teenagers were infatuated.....
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They weren't really the best example. :|
 
No, you're wrong. I do know who I am, because I've taken the time to figure it out. I don't do the same things most teens do. I don't party or get in to trouble or sleep around. I know what I want in life and how to get there. I've watched and analyzed people my whole life. I listen to what people say, even if I don't like what I'm hearing. I listen to what my heart says and I always follow accordingly. I realize that I may never be able to convince you that I have, but you should realize that you will never be able to convince me that I haven't. I will never give in when I believe I am right unless I realize I am wrong, and I don't believe that a day will come when I realize I am wrong about my self. I know where I stand and the whole world couldn't come up with enough evidence to sway me any differently.
 
Haru, I've only just gotten out of what you're living and believing right now, and it took some heavy shocks before realizing it, but mostly people are right.
Truth be told is love isn't something you'll ever understand.
I've had a lover Die on me twice, and it was rather traumatic.

But as far as love goes, you'll never really understand.
After an online thing with courtney, I swore never to do online relations again because it's plainway hard
and here I am two years later, currenlty dating a Texan girl.
In the end, it's bliss for now but still.

I can safely say I haven't been in love this way yet.
And on one end I think it's disturbing.
But she asked me to prove what love was and my love for her, in an Essay....and I did that in a span of two hours, with references from three different insitutions.

Being in love gives you an insane hand in whatever you do.
E-love is more intense then normal love even, although the problem with this is the hurt is a lot worse aswell.
not to mention that the "use and toss" concept is easy on the net.

Then, I ended up noticing that in my class someone actually met up with a person via secondlife, and met tons of times and dated for years.
That make me reconsider my doomsy view.

all and all together love is what you make of it.
but marriage and permanent ties at young age are retarded...with how you change outside and inside, and with how love is basically judged by the "falling in love" part and not the "being in love part" because the feeling for eachother always fade, and its up to the relation to see if it turns into "love" or fails.

humans weren't made for staying loyal in the first place anywho.
 
I dont think that Romeo and Juliet would've stayed with each other if they survived, but thats not the same as saying that they didnt love each other. Just because you dont spend the rest of your life with someone doesnt mean you didnt love them while it lasted. Yes, some people are lucky enought to have that situation, but not everyone does. Just because something ends doesnt mean it wasnt real.
 
1. Romeo and Juliet is a story.
2. If you love someone (and they love you too) you'll make it last forever.
 
Jelle you're right, but I've already started to realize that may be making a hasty decision on prom night wasn't such a good idea. In midst of all the glamour and excitement I said yes. Now that the glamour has worn off, I realize that I've made the commitment mistake all over again. I do love him, don't get me wrong, but I'm only almost seventeen and while I've experienced love, I haven't really experienced much else. I'm not the type of person that likes to be tied down, and thats exactly what I'm doing to myself. I want to get married but not now when I've got other things on my mind. I need to live, then love and I've been trying to do just the opposite. My problem is that I've always placed the feelings of the people I love before my own, and I don't want to hurt their feelings. There is another reason that I don't really want to break off my relationship but it's rather personal if you get what I mean. I hear it is really difficult when its your first and you never really get over it, but I want more out of my life. Here is the thought that gets to me though, what if I find someone else and I hurt him really badly? I think part of the reason I stay is out of pity because he was suicidal before he met me and is aways talking about what he would do if he lost me, its depressing and slightly annoying. I'm sure of what I need to do for me but not sure how to do it or if I have the courage.
 
RavenRockstar said:
I dont think that Romeo and Juliet would've stayed with each other if they survived, but thats not the same as saying that they didnt love each other. Just because you dont spend the rest of your life with someone doesnt mean you didnt love them while it lasted. Yes, some people are lucky enought to have that situation, but not everyone does. Just because something ends doesnt mean it wasnt real.
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I think this statement proves that, contrary to what Drew-san said above, a 16 year old is perfectly capable of understanding love.

Drew-san said:
1. Romeo and Juliet is a story.
2. If you love someone (and they love you too) you'll make it last forever.
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I think this is a rather naive viewpoint. There are all kinds of things that can cause a relationship to end, regardless of how much two people love each other. Someone on TV the other day said, "love doesn't end in divorce", and I think that can be true. It might even be that a relationship ends because those involved love each other.

Perhaps if you realised that Romeo and Juliet is much more than just a story, you would understand love a bit more.
 
It is foolish to argue that 'love', once 'active' has age limitations or whatever. Its a bloody instinct we have, so its pretty natural that people who experience it are capable of understanding the damn thing. The question is whether they can handle it without 'love' raping their lives completely. Its much easier when people age a bit and become cynical and bitter.
 
Drew-san said:
Uh, no... Not at all.
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but if I was older, would you have argued with my opinion so vehemently? Because it seems like you dont agree with me simply becuase im young

Derfel said:
It is foolish to argue that 'love', once 'active' has age limitations or whatever. Its a bloody instinct we have, so its pretty natural that people who experience it are capable of understanding the damn thing. The question is whether they can handle it without 'love' raping their lives completely. Its much easier when people age a bit and become cynical and bitter.
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huzzah for bitterness and cynisism :eek:
 
Derfel said:
It is foolish to argue that 'love', once 'active' has age limitations or whatever. Its a bloody instinct we have, so its pretty natural that people who experience it are capable of understanding the damn thing. The question is whether they can handle it without 'love' raping their lives completely. Its much easier when people age a bit and become cynical and bitter.
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It's not something you can know you've experienced, if you don't understand it.

but if I was older, would you have argued with my opinion so vehemently? Because it seems like you dont agree with me simply becuase im young
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I'm young too.
 

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