Identity crisis - sad

[Identitycrisis]

Hi

I am foreign-born and raised Japanese national. The reason I had Japanese nationality was because of my Japanese father. I previously carried a foreign passport until a few years ago when I was asked to carry a japanese passport/nationality and name. Somehow I also wanted to have japan passport since my parents and some of my siblings reside in Japan and I dont want to go through the tedious process of obtaining a visa everytime I visit them.

However, being a japanese national having no knowledge of the japanese language is very difficult. I never really knew the meaning of identity crisis till now. I work in Singapore and, every time, people iv met find it strange that I dont even know how to speak japanese. To make things worse, everytime i go to japan, (since i need to queue under the japan passport immigration counter), the immigration officer doubt if the passport that i carry is authentic- since i cant even talk to him. I cant even fill out the embarkation card!

To resolve this problem, I tried applying for jobs in Japan so that once and for all I could settle in and maybe catch up, or in my case, at least learn conversational japanese language or have a little japanese in me. I was even ready to give up my profession. As expected, no luck. since no japanese language knowledge, no work. sigh.. identity crisis. Wonder if anyone is like me in this community...

 

[Half-n-Half]

Japanese I know I learned on my own and from studying abroad. I've never had Japanese nationality. Even so, I can draw some parallels in my own experiences with yours.

Something I realized a long time ago is that you shouldn't base your identity on something artificial like nationality or whatever your passport says. You don't have to fit into neat man-made categories. I was born and raised in America so I realize that makes me culturally American. So when I went to Japan and experienced culture shock and didn't know the language I was perfectly fine with it. I didn't feel embarrassment or shame for not knowing my mother's language or culture, because they are not my own. My identity is the collection of events I have experienced from birth until now. It's not Japanese, American, Japanese-American, or whatever other label you can think of. What's the point of those, anyway? They just serve to convey a very narrow part of your identity to those around you. As you said, often times those labels can give people the wrong impression of your true personality and people might start assuming things about you. Your experience of being expected to speak Japanese is a perfect example. And you certainly shouldn't restrict your identity to those of your ancestors.

 

[Identitycrisis]

very well said half and half..very inspiring. so i assume you live in Japan now? which part? do you carry a japanese name?

 

[Half-n-Half]

Not currently, but I lived in Japan from September 2010 until March 21st 2011 as an exchange student at Tohoku University. I will be returning in the Fall to pursue a PhD at Tohoku. I do carry a Japanese name, but it's my middle name, Tooru 透. My mother decided against giving me a Japanese first name because she thought people might have a hard time pronouncing it.