Here is the story

heh... bells

and hopefully not hells bells

Date is End of Sep to early Oct
 
Well, they already had the honeymoon...

Carlson said:
heh... bells

and hopefully not hells bells

Date is End of Sep to early Oct

As in wedding bells and wedding date? :romance:
 
ArmandV said:
As in wedding bells and wedding date? :romance:


😲


Let's pray and hope not!


This will be a disaster of a marriage from what I have read here. I am just being completely honest.


As one great friend and master sushi chef (who sadly passed away a few years after this advice) once advised me when I was in a very similar situation 17 years ago, (exactly as he said it in English), "Not for marry, just for play." Boy was he right!



Carlson, LISTEN TO THE ADVICE OF THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE!!
 
Its what I want and my feelings for her are stronger now then before ive had time to think it over and I want to go on with it.
 
This marriage will be what you and her make of it. Good luck in this and all other endeavors.
 
Carlson said:
Its what I want and my feelings for her are stronger now then before ive had time to think it over and I want to go on with it.


Is this what she wants as well?
 
I think that in some cases marriage is like a button on a female pressed by a male who is afraid to loose her.

Usually ends up in divorce.

I hope this is not the case.
 
Well to say it all.. I pressed that button but fortunatelly for me we splitted up before to organise everything... and after 2 years I think that splitting up was the best (yet painful) thing ever happen for both of us.
 
I think that in some cases marriage is like a button on a female pressed by a male who is afraid to loose her.

Usually ends up in divorce.

I hope this is not the case.

Man needs a better method... I find it unusual though that there is no female call for afraid of loosing a man...

Is this what she wants as well?

Sometimes for some one who hasn't decided, declaring what you want will help their decision, sometimes for better, or for worse. I've found that it's in general preferance of females to have men say it first. I also find in general of male preferance, making the first decision is easier, therefor preferred.

Here's a little something i've noticed that might explain things a little better. Men are generally easier pleasured by physically oriented things (not just by touch, but sight, sound, and so forth) which girls can provide more easily than men. Men have an advantage over the girl due to their ability to give an emotional sence much more easily than another female would. Weather you try to or try not to, you typically take advantage of your gender specific abilities (providing your specialty is concurent with your gender). Taking advantage of them *CAN* be good, as long as you do it in a correct way. This way varies per person and/or relationship and if there was a way of figuring this out, alot more people would stay together alot longer. NOTE: this paragraph only applies to my observations heterosexuals, and should not be applied to homosexual relationships due to the higher amount of variables. And no, i'm not being prejudice...
 
Man needs a better method... I find it unusual though that there is no female call for afraid of loosing a man...
The button on men has a big sign "SEX", that button works womders!!!
 
kohlrak said:
Man needs a better method...
That's why there's soaplands and other "rent a wench" establishments.
A friend's late husband once said about marriage when a wedding party passed by on the road: Why buy a cow when milk is so cheap?
 
Again congratulations! and hope you will have a happy life with her!
 
Well dude, your funeral, I hope you have brought her around, and this isnt just ah "things seem a little tiny bit better so lets just go do everything while we still feel giddy off of the make-up high".

And dude, please PLEASE, if she so much as ****s up again drop her, your too young for this stuff, seriously. ☝

Thinking of you dude, we got your corner. 🙂
 
If you're both happy with your decision, and you know what you're doing: congratulations!
 
ArmandV said:
Is this what she wants as well?


Yes i asked her and gave her a few days to think about it and she talked it over with her family. Ive had dinner with the parents and we have talked about all the diff outcomes that could come of this and they support what we have come up with. Even if it is a little soon they think.
 
Carlson said:
Yes i asked her and gave her a few days to think about it and she talked it over with her family. Ive had dinner with the parents and we have talked about all the diff outcomes that could come of this and they support what we have come up with. Even if it is a little soon they think.

Maybe it is a bit fast, but since you've been going together for about two years...

Sometimes it takes a swift kick in the pants (to both of you) to realize things. Rotsa ruck!
 
I'll wish you luck, but I think it is a mistake!

Might I suggest a long engagement? Say at least a year?

Will she be able to live in the US? Many military marriages end because the Japanese spouse isn't capable of living in the US. All is fine for a while, then things begin to crumble.

IMO (and it is only my opinion and unwarranted at that) you are way too young to even consider marriage...much less to a foreigner. Please think long and hard about this before you follow through with it.
 
Just go with your heart if your marriage works out it will be the best thing ,that could happen if not you'll live on to find you're true love as well but I think it will work out =)
Although you shouldn't base you're decision on people ,who only vaguily know you you're girlfriend and the circumstances^^
 
moffeltoff said:
Although you shouldn't base you're decision on people ,who only vaguily know you you're girlfriend and the circumstances^^
That's a good point. But many of those people are older and speak from experience. (I know now that if I had married the woman I was engaged to at 20 would have been a very bad idea).
 
Akakubisan said:
That's a good point. But many of those people are older and speak from experience. (I know now that if I had married the woman I was engaged to at 20 would have been a very bad idea).


Hindsight usually is 20/20.
 
ArmandV said:
That's why there's soaplands and other "rent a wench" establishments.
A friend's late husband once said about marriage when a wedding party passed by on the road: Why buy a cow when milk is so cheap?


:LOL: :LOL:


You're killing me Armand!!


Had a rough week and needed to crack up. This did it! :LOL:


:beer1:
 
CC1 said:
Will she be able to live in the US? Many military marriages end because the Japanese spouse isn't capable of living in the US. All is fine for a while, then things begin to crumble.
We have talked about this and about where she would have to live when I have to PCS. She does not want to go to the America for 3 reasons. 1 i will most likely deploy to Iraq very soon and 2 she is not sure if she can get used to it. 3 Her mother is sick and she wishes to be able to reach her if something does happen.
Ive thought this over long and hard and heard it from everyone you could ever think of about the subject. The fact is I know her better then her parents do. We have been almost un seperable in the time we have been together and in that times have had are ups and downs. I do wish i could do a long engagment but being in the military they dont care unless you are married. so that means no living together or a trail run to say. its either you are or you arnt.
 
Well, if you want to be with here and she dosn't want to go to America, that must mean that you are considering a perminant stay in japan? Quite a bit for a girl you almost broke up with. I'm sure you've heard from everyone, now, how big of a choice this is and how risky it is. In all reality, you know her and we don't, we know you but we can't make judgements on your relationship with her unless we know her. So saying that's a hasty move is outside our jurisdiction. Therefor, i'm left with saying, "I wish you luck."

Though, we all have to admire her for resons 1 and 3. Quite respectable in my book. From what i've gathered about her from this post, her nature is rather intresting to say the least. I hate to compare your girl to misty/mako... But she does resemble one of the few better things about misty. Something that never made sence (it makes sence in other people just not misty).
 
Well #1 in your statement rules her out as a potential military spouse. She doesn't sound strong enough to endure deployments. Of course I don't think that you are a lifer so that may be a moot point!
 
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