HAHAHA well, being a hairdresser... here I am, to the rescue!?!
Ok, what you can do, is when you have had your two weekly/monthly/yearly hair cut, ask your hairdresser to collect the clippings, then take them home, along with some trusty spirit gum, attach to your hair lackened skin and VOILA you have a 'sexy' (??) new look! You'll be the hottest chick magnet in town. For sure!
If you only care what you look like at special times, then you can always buy an eyebrow pencil, depending on what colour beard you wish to have, then gently (it's rather painstakingly long process) draw fine little lines, flicking your wrist upwards to give the illusion of growth, now they need to be close together, to look realistic. Maybe you would like to have photos of your favourite beards handy, whilst you are drawing on your new hairs, just to get it 'picture perfect'.
As a faster alternative do as we do in the movies, get a stipple sponge, a pallette of your preferred colour (you can buy these from theatre make up shops), and then gently dab the sponge onto the colour and then apply to your face, now you dont want it to be too block, so make sure you apply the colour gently and evenly.
If you are afraid of it running in the rain, or dripping onto your sweetheart whilst getting hot and sweaty, then you can also purchase very good spray protectors, which are usually sweat and water resistant. I would recommend washing your face with a good cleanser however, because you dont want to block those pores and be a spotty hairless gentleman... do you?
Otherwise just massage your face at any opportunity you have, massage stimulates the blood flow, which in turn stimulates the hair follicles, and enhances growth to some degree. This is a very long, and not 100% effective process, but I have seen it work on men with alopaecia areata.
So many things to do. Dont forget to eat your crusts on sandwhiches, and your potato skins!
