Have We Become That Superficial?

[Kinsao]

I thought it was someone else's glass. Mine was full. Hey there, you, give me back my glass!

:box:

:auch:

 

[Doc]

* reaches for bokken and hits Doc`s head * thunnngggg!!
Stop pitying yourself!!! You`ll find one (or she`ll find you ), a bit more positivity and the things will work out pretty good Be optimistic

heh, recalled short joke
Pessimist sees the dark tunnel, optimist - the light at the end of the tunnel,
realist sees the train, and engineman sees three jerks standing on his railways

*throws scolding hot coffee in Void's face* I'm a realist. I don't need a female to validate my existance on this mortal coil.

Doc

 

[kirei_na_me]

Let's not throw hot coffee at anyone...whether it be real or virtual...ok?

 

[Doc]

..........okay..........

Doc

 

[Void]

*throws scolding hot coffee in Void's face* I'm a realist. I don't need a female to validate my existance on this mortal coil.

Doc

and now tell that you are less superficial and shallow than those you are complaining about!

 

[Mycernius]

Let's not throw hot coffee at anyone...whether it be real or virtual...ok?

Can we throw virtual pillows and custards pies then?

 

[Doc]

and now tell that you are less superficial and shallow than those you are complaining about!

Yes looks are important, but they don't have to be in a superficial value when picking a partner. If people can't get that through their skulls, then it's not my problem. I look for the personality when I look for a partner. As matter of fact, the more beautiful the personality is, the more beautiful the outwards apperence becomes as well. That's what it's like for me. However, I do not need a relationship to validate my life. Living alone can be just as fruitful, especially in my case with the career choice that I'm going with. If you can't value, respect, or understand my decision then you really are lost in what's more important to me in my life. My happiness is more important than looking like a supermodel or trying to date one like other people do. I just try to live my life the way I want to the best I can, and be happy. There's nothing wrong or superficial about that.

Doc

 

[lexico]

Can we throw virtual pillows and custards pies then?

IMHO virtual pillows yes, cause they are soft and not edible.
Virtual custard pies, no, because they might mess up the face, hair, spectacles, lenses, and shirt. Besides, food fights are bad taste considering all the hungry folks out there, viturally starving to death.
Food fights also tell one is a shallow person with absolutely no regard for food; a legacy of Marie Antoinette who said, "Let them have cake ?"

 

[kirei_na_me]

Some of the most best looking guys to me are not good looking to other people. Why? Because I usually go for the personality. Sure, looks don't hurt, but they're sure not everything. I've gone out with guys that my friends thought weren't "hot"(*gag*) enough, but they set me on fire. And you know what? They weren't getting nearly as satisfied out of their "hot" guy relationships as I was with mine.

 

[Void]

Yes looks are important, but they don't have to be in a superficial value when picking a partner. If people can't get that through their skulls, then it's not my problem. I look for the personality when I look for a partner. As matter of fact, the more beautiful the personality is, the more beautiful the outwards apperence becomes as well. That's what it's like for me. However, I do not need a relationship to validate my life. Living alone can be just as fruitful, especially in my case with the career choice that I'm going with. If you can't value, respect, or understand my decision then you really are lost in what's more important to me in my life. My happiness is more important than looking like a supermodel or trying to date one like other people do. I just try to live my life the way I want to the best I can, and be happy. There's nothing wrong or superficial about that.

Doc

geez, whom do you trying to convince me or yourself?
in fact, i was commenting absolutely different point. But you stuck with the looks issue (which already solved here, btw) Is it what troubles you the most?
And if you think relationship is only needed to validate your life then, maybe, you are the one who can`t value respect and understand the life itself? ☝

 

[Doc]

geez, whom do you trying to convince me or yourself?
in fact, i was commenting absolutely different point. But you stuck with the looks issue (which already solved here, btw) Is it what troubles you the most?
And if you think relationship is only needed to validate your life then, maybe, you are the one who can`t value respect and understand the life itself? ☝

Trying to twist my words around won't help you much. I'm not stupid, so don't think I'll fall for it. Does suprficial values and ideals bother me? Yes they do, they're one of my biggest pet peeves. Can I respect others who are in relationships? Yes I can. Do you absolutely have to be in a relationship to be happy with your life? No you don't. See I think you missed the point of the thread entirely Void (which is ironicly your name). The thread is about these stupid dating websites that only attract those who are either superficial in life, or can't live without a partner because it's the only thing that can define themselves, and their existance on this planet. I'm simply stating you don't need that to live a happy life.

A person needs to look into themselves, and reflect on their life. If they truly are happy with who they are, with or without a partner, then what's from stopping them from leading a good happy life? I think you're confused on what the thread is all about. You see there are too many people out there who don't look within themselves, and instead make horrible choices within their lives, and end up having negative results. It's the mentality of those people that we are talking about. We are not talking about me, or anybody else. Also the issue of who am I trying to convince more is irrelivent. The fact that you threw that little line in there shows that you don't understand what's going on here, or you just enjoy baiting me one of the two.

Don't start a challege with me because I won't fall for it. I'm a lot smarter than you think so don't try me.

Doc

 

[Void]

whatever, Mr. Smart Guy with high standards which, yet, allow him to twist other people words and bypass his own wrong-doings Be proud and happy

 

[Doc]

whatever, Mr. Smart Guy with high standards which, yet, allow him to twist other people words and bypass his own wrong-doings Be proud and happy

You're a smart *** you know that? Okay, *** if I have such high standards, then what are they?

Doc

 

[Void]

sorry, you said don`t start the challenge
just reflect a little - on your posts, on yourself, on other people posts and on other people`s lives...
and don`t forget the point of view Frank-sama pesented - you might not know what people`s life was and why they turned to be one way or another. Judgement is easy, understanding and empathy is far more difficult

 

[Doc]

Which is the point of this thread, to understand.

Doc

 

[Void]

Oh, really?
sorry, i`ll elaborate lately, got to finish some reading and get a bit of sleep %\

 

[Kinsao]

I'm not sure what is the need to argue.
It is true that some people feel kind of incomplete or otherwise unvalidated (is that a word?) if they are not in a relationship. But, I think it is quite true to say that this is a problem in their own mind. I think that is somehow what Doc is saying :?

I think that if a person feels like that, they really do need to look at themselves and work out what is the problem. Maybe they have low self-esteem? People should not see themselves as 'half' of a 'relationship'. A relationship is a team which somehow enriches both people involved without in any way detracting from their individuality, or their own individual worth.

I think if you 'need' to be in a relationship in order to feel validated, probably the relationships either don't last very long, or are based on a dominant-submissive dynamic.

I'm not quite clear what 'wrong-doings' Doc is being accused of bypassing, either.

 

[Ma Cherie]

*sighs* You two should really quit. At any rate, it's fairly obvious that our society and possibly the rest of the world doesn't want much out of life. That's why I think people are becoming more and more superficial, because they don't want to search for something more. There is so much wrong with that, at least I think so. :?

 

[lexico]

I'm not quite clear what 'wrong-doings' Doc is being accused of bypassing, either.

Perhaps this :?

*throws scolding hot coffee in Void's face*

 

[Doc]

And that was just a joke too because I had Foamy on the brain.

Doc

 

[Mycernius]

IMHO virtual pillows yes, cause they are soft and not edible.
Virtual custard pies, no, because they might mess up the face, hair, spectacles, lenses, and shirt. Besides, food fights are bad taste considering all the hungry folks out there, viturally starving to death.
Food fights also tell one is a shallow person with absolutely no regard for food; a legacy of Marie Antoinette who said, "Let them have cake ?"

I'll make pseudo-virtual custard pies then, made with virtual shaving cream and then everyones happy.

 

[Void]

I'll make pseudo-virtual custard pies then, made with virtual shaving cream and then everyones happy.

* pulls the the pump-gun form under sofa and loads it with dozen ping-pong balls, mounts pillow entrenchment*
you said it, Mike
ah, sweet childhood.

 

[Void]

ready, set... shoot =)))))

comment: pronoun "you" is used to ease my task, not to point at anyone
here (just don`t like to use word "one")


overture

Some of the existentialists said that the one of the problems of modern society is a concept of "value". As soon as you label smth like "value" be sure in a time to lose the meaning of that something. Value of this, value of that, values of Christianity, values of modern world, and so on. Make a list of top 10 values, rate them, compare them with other`s list and such... but tell now what is it all about, what stands behind this word "value"?.. oops!
And like Socratus (him?) pick up the lamp and look for a man in a broad daylight (for the entities behind all these "values" that jumble in your head)


act 1. adajio

Just few looks at humanity at different angles. A bit of lousy statistics =)
what we have? -
1) increasing population
2) growth of number of cities and of their size
3) technological rise
4) media development
5) increasing amount of leisure-time

We also have some literal and archeological sources to rebuild the history. Unlike rest of those who replied here i dare to suppose that you drive to an incorrect conclusion, Why? and at what?
We have great breaks in technologies, have more time for ourselves than even a century ago, have many services that are designed to entertain us, and such... But, yet, there are many things that haven`t changed. Remember Maslow`s pyramid of human needs? It still the same. And, probably, if we will arrange into corresponding groups all the people the distribution of their numbers at each level will be the like. What about nature of a man? Were there many changes?

(i`ll omit further babbling binding those 5 points above, you can do it yourself, besides, i`ll return to some later)

So, isn`t it more correct to say not "we are getting worse",
but "we are not getting any better"?

(emphasis one)
Maybe, the internal need for self-development in intellectual and sensuous fields has not yet proven to be neccessary for survival of human species. Right now we live at the times when our development can`t be just extensive (not too much room on the planet left and not much of natural sources to continue their mindless depletion) And, maybe, we are facing the time when the intensive developmen of a group and single individual will prove itself to be neccessary for future survival of humankind.


act 2. andante

some sociologists claim that at least western world lives in post-industrial society and one of the key-"engines" of this societies are services of all kind. back to the items 1), 2) and 5). Growing populations is quite a headache for governing. Some easy solutions were suggested by history "divide et impera" and "panem et circenses!" and no room left for anything else to fill the life. People are hedonistic and sensuously aesthetic? Damn, they are! Just satisfy those needs and there won`t be much time for the top of Maslow`s piramid. Besides, there is a law of minimun of energy dissipation, it fits humans as well. Hedonistic and sensuous goals are more easily achieved than intellectual. You have A and B, what C is derived from them?

Back to the item 4) and services and overture
What are the values of Christianity? If smth has lost its content and all what made a spirit of it, degraded and became an indulgence once more Why Cristianity can`t go then as a trademark, like Reebok or Pepsi brands do?What is so surprising about that?


act 3. moderato

Use of Christian symbols to attract people seems to be insulting. OK. Let`s take, for example, global company, say ... like Coca-Cola... (can be any other, those Adidas shoes as well =) ...and i wouldn`t even mention oil-companies)
1) its commercial compain plays over our bodily needs (such as thirst)
2) over our family "values"
3) over our self-esteem
and so on
1a) you think, occupying the market world-wide it follows laws of morality?
2a) cares about small companies and areas it destroyed?
3a) cares about how safe its product for a man?
and so on

You don`t find it offensive... and buy Coke, fill your car with petroleum, purchase new playstations and games... and so on

Don`t know how`s about post-industrial society, but for sure, we live in consuming society. Dating sites, well, pleasure also can be consumed
* shrugs * Who says that people go there to mate not just to date and have some 'fun'. Who says that the ultimate need to spread their genes all over and through the time moves them there? Some of them want to consume hot time with hot people. It is worse than any other consumation?

(emphasis two)
It is believed that we live in a free world and free to live our life the way we want. We are born diferent, live different and might have different goals and different meanings of "value"-things.
(emphasis three)
Every one of us is a part of consuming society, and a very active part, like it or not (hide from it or not) it is so


act 4. crescendo

Now turn to 3 emphases drawn above. For example, i accept the 1st one, see the problem, get upsed, mad, disconserned and go fussing around about it Well, what is worth if i don`t accept 2 others? And what makes me think that my list of "values" makes me superior compare to others? Society marches to hell, society should be changed!!! * yawns * How? i`d dare ask and even add a few more other questions.
1) OK, let`s assume that our conclusion about society`s destionation is correct. How to prove that your list of "values" is better?
2) how doy you change other people`s "values" and, thus, life?
* and a very important *
3) do you have guts to change the society?
4) do you have guts to change yourself? (this one answered disregarding the answer 3), since there exist such thin as personal example)

You know, the longer i live the more often i notice that we can be mistaking in our judgement. Almost every time when i`d considered someone superficial or shallow suddenly i'd met (or heard about) a person comparing to whom my so called "deep waters" turned out to be muddy pond and my proud clipper - just a punt, or, what is worse found out that my judgement was hasty and immature. I can disagree with someone`s life style or ideals, but shouldn`t i watch my own thoughts, words and deeds first? I can`t answer qestions 1)and 3) and, therefore - 2). So, i`d rather look for beam in my own eye(maybe will be able to make a raft to sail those bloody rifts of life-river )`cause to skim over the surface and jump to the conclusion is no less superficial...


interlude
* vociferates *
An outside temperature is rising
And meaning is all so clear
One thousand yellow daffodils
begin to dance in front of you
oh, dear!
I`m only trying to tell you something
You are missing that one final scoop
You are simply not in a pink, my dear
But, to be honest,
you haven`t got a clue
...i`m going slightly mad
...i`m going slightly mad
it finally happens,
it finally happens, oh, yeah


damn! i love Queen


-----
capriccio is to follow and i`ll shut up %)

 

[Doc]

So I'm superficial because I think there are people out there who sign up for that crap just because they're desperate. Fine think that because I really don't care, but you know it's true too. I know several people who have done that online dating only because they're that desperate to find somebody because they feel they nothing else to live on in life. Let's forget the fact they lack inner strength, or reflection on one's self as well. Look I'm not saying that all people are like that.

I understand there are people with different motivations for joining those things. You insult my intelligence if you think otherwise. My beginning rant was with the people I mentioned above, but also I was trying to get people to stop and think of what all the different possible motivations could be for people to join those things, superficial or not. The fact that you decided to do a twisted word play on me really pissed me off as that was not my original intention of this thread to belittle those who sign up for those things. I was merely expressing my aggravation for receiving those e-mails, and trying to start an intellectual topic on why people join those things.

There are a few people I know who have had successes with those sites, but I know a lot more who haven't. Then again who am I the one to judge? I'm not, and never will either. Do you know why? It's because I was judged my whole life based on my apperience. I know how it feels so don't tell me that I'm just like everybody else and I am superficial. I was merely expressing my distaste for such sites, and an explination for them. If you want to call me superifical then fine, but you're just as judgemental as I am. If I'm judgemental then you're no better than me if that's what you think. I consider this matter closed with you Void, and wish for you to get off my back. If not I will complain to Mac next time about it.

Doc

 

[Kinsao]

Some people who join such sites might be superficial, others not. Maybe some have issues or problems. Some maybe get themselves lucky and find someone nice.

I think it is truly superficial to judge someone only on their looks.

I don't think anyone on here is superficial - not as far as able to judge from posts.

So can we be nice and not try to put each other down.