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Girls just as superficial as guys

canadian_kor

Thrill Seeker
19 Jun 2004
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Don't believe me? Read this article:

Dating

I hope this puts to rest the whole idea that guys go mostly for looks and girls go mostly for personality.

(I expect some responses to this, but please be nice :) )
 
And this is found on a men's site. How objective do you expect it to be?

Anyway, I have to say that some women I know are superficial. Take for instance, one of my best friends. She's 28 and never even had a serious boyfriend. Why? Because she expects all the guys to be "HOT!". If they're not 'hot' by her standards, she shuns them. This usually means a guy has to look like Brad Pitt or something. They have to be at least 6 feet tall, have 6-pack abs, be tanned, blonde hair, blue eyes, etc.

That also means they are jerks by default. :eek:

I do think men still have women beat(by far) as far as being superficial goes, though.
 
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Well c'mon, men do rely on looks because that is how they choose their compatible partner for mating. I mean don't blame me if nature made me look for a cutie so my child can have some good genes on this earth 😊 😊 😊 :p

In any case, relying only on looks is a bit 2 much. Because of popular media now, people expect the other sex to look un-naturally good. If i find a an overall good lookin woman, that appeals to me on many levels, I stick with her. So what, she has split ends, or sensitive skin, or i dunno :? ; this is begining to sound bad :mad:, i'll just stop here, you get my point 😌
 
Personally, I find that good-looking men haven't needed to make as much of an effort to distinguish themselves (in terms of becoming an interesting conversationalist, or even a skilled lover), whereas naturally unattractive men can be very ambitious in order to attract potential mates, if not just a sexual partner. If generalizations can be made, as in women needing to look for loyal, financially solvent mates for the longer term, it's in their better interest to look for "successful" rather than "handsome" partners.

That being said, one obvious sign of stable and good health is a symmetric set of features, not just on the face but every aspect of the body. Symmetry is also closely linked to handsomeness in both sexes.

Oh, and apparently the hormonal balance in women determines what they find preferable depending on where in the monthly cycle they are - most of the month (e.g. not ovulating) they're supposed to be attracted to soft-spoken, sympathetic men, but when ovulating, they prefer rugged, strong-but-silent types. Personally I never dated people based on their appearance (nor their gender!)...
 
Well girls are humans as well...
I mean if most guys go after good looking girls why shouldn't girls do the same?
Nowadays no one tries to look at the personality anymore...and sure it's sad but what can you do about it?
 
I think we're only looking at half of this issue so far. Men and women are equally superficial, but about different things. To make broad generalizations, men may look for an attractive mate, while women may look for a mate who's a good provider (i.e. rich). I think looking for a partner who has money is just as superficial as looking for a partner who's hot.
 
I agree brooker,

Moreover, I'm not sure if you can put a statistic on that ideal. Men and woman our both superficial in many ways. Men and woman aren't just superficial when finding mates. Their superficial about their looks and accessories too. Some woman often compare themsleves to other woman and care deeply about how they look. Men also take time primping themselves (like those metrasexuals in the city...) The word superficial relates to anything that is apparent or obvious, which can mean many things. We need to stop comparing males and females and look at the whole thing as a collective; biologically. I believe being superficial is acquired, not something that our nervous system tells us to do. When a male is attracted to a female, that's testosterone speaking...not his superficial id(joke) :eek: . If it was based on his superficiality... (is that even a word) :? Then, men would only like what society feels is right. Yes, I know in many cases society has its affects, but it comes down to the person.

(e.g) I know guys who think Beyonce is hot and some guys who think she's ugly.
 
No news there... why should it be any better with women? As the author puts it very precisely:
"They overlook personality in favor of physical appearance, exactly as men do. Women's shaming of men for being looks-obsessed is a bunch of hypocritical hogwash."
 
kirei_na_me said:
And this is found on a men's site. How objective do you expect it to be?

Anyway, I have to say that some women I know are superficial. Take for instance, one of my best friends. She's 28 and never even had a serious boyfriend. Why? Because she expects all the guys to be "HOT!". If they're not 'hot' by her standards, she shuns them. This usually means a guy has to look like Brad Pitt or something. They have to be at least 6 feet tall, have 6-pack abs, be tanned, blonde hair, blue eyes, etc.

That also means they are jerks by default. :eek:

I do think men still have women beat(by far) as far as being superficial goes, though.


umm I think kirei_na_me is kind of right. If it's on a mens website of course there is going to be alot of bias towards what the author (who is a male) is trying to say.

Of course guys are going to want to say women are just as superfical, it justifies them looking at good looking girls. :)

but yes I have met some girls who are very superfical, but when you think about it, there are more girls who are interested in a proper relatioship that is based on feelings and trust, and love than girls who are only interested in looks.
 
You know before, centuries ago, it was the man who was in a good social position that was attractive to a woman, now however, we have emancipated to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how much money you have, but now looks have become important for men to have as well. So, you see, is just society in general that dictates these guidelines for attraction, and well if some individuals get caught in the net, well we shouldn't really look at them as the "criminals" , but as the "victims" of popular culture. As for men being superficial, I don't see the point of the argument there. It has been proven that men rely quite on a bit on apperance for their sexual desire ;it's be seeing how a woman looks that a man instinctively knows whether she would be a good potential carrier for his genes. I could meet the most wonderful woman in the world, with the best personality, interests, intellect, matching me in every way conceivable, but if she wont attract me physically, there is nothing i can do about it; I can't force myself to like her; that type of physical chemistry just happens instinctevily, it can not be psychologically induced. Well I guess you could make yourself beleive that you really like someone when you don't in fact, but I don't think anyone would want that.
 
Sorry, if I linked this article. I realized that I actually did link this article on another thread months ago as I was responding to someone. :eek:
 
Ok..since we are talking generalities here...I'll put in my two cents. Sure both men and women are superficial to some degree. Looks are important on an animalistic level. But it is my contention that women(nothing personal) are the more superficial, generally speaking when it comes to looks. Sure men are visual creatures, but women are too...and to a much higher degree. Contrary to popular opinion in advertising, men don't want super models. Face it, men are easy to please. A woman could be average looking, but have a nice body...or one attractive body part, and men will try to pick them up. It doesn't matter where a woman works, drives, earns...anything. On a superficial level, men are much more forgiving. On the flip side, women are much more superficial about attraction. A man can have a nice body, but if he isn't handsome facially...deal is off. Women are much more picky about a man's face being "hot" than men are. And then a man has to be ambitious, have a good job, drive the right care. All these things factor into it. But women want it all. The whole package. I understand on a biological level, that they are "shopping" so to speak for a good genetic and monetary provider for themselves and future children. But even in a casual "hook up"...women are way more superficial. Men will go "ga-ga" over an average woman physically. But women will not go "ga-ga" over just any man. A man has to measure up to a long list of criteria. And even for a purely "sexual" encounter, a man must above all else be "hot". While men will casually pay attention to a wider spectrum of women. So in a purely general way, women are alot more superficial, and men are much more accepting on a purely physical level. Men always get the bad rap here, and I just wanted to set the record straight. :)
 
lol maybe we just need to stop arguing about which sex is right and who is wrong. When it comes down to it, neither sex is perfect. so lets agree to disagree if need be.
 
kirei_na_me said:
Anyway, I have to say that some women I know are superficial. Take for instance, one of my best friends. She's 28 and never even had a serious boyfriend. Why? Because she expects all the guys to be "HOT!". If they're not 'hot' by her standards, she shuns them. This usually means a guy has to look like Brad Pitt or something. They have to be at least 6 feet tall, have 6-pack abs, be tanned, blonde hair, blue eyes, etc.

Well, I guess that leaves me out! :D

But seriously, both genders have faults, worried more about what's on the outside than what's on the inside, and that's wrong to the nines. A pretty looking package can hide a multitude of sins, case in point, Ted Bundy was quite the handsome guy, and we all know what he was like beneath the surface.

If men and women were to pay more attention to the inner qualities of the opposite sex, relations between the genders would be considerably better than they are now.
 
I want cute boys !!

It also has to do with the nature you grew in .

Take ME for example.

raised in a community where girls shouldn't speak to boys. Entered public GIRLS ONLY schools , up through high school. The only few boys I got to hang with were relatives and some childhood friends.

And I , shamefully , have always been having crushes on them (cute) ones.

I can't speak with a cute boy without having like a "momental" crush on him. I feel attracted to those handsome things out there and am usually distracted by their being .
I can't look at "unattractive" boys , and I can't feel anything to them .

I want cute boys. At every second and at every minute.I want them NOW!!

There could be something wrong with me . But that's the world , from my point of view... 😌 :eek:
 
ya but you see, when you first see some one you can't see their personality, you see looks first, so it is kind of important
 
easy solution

maybe girls should put a " I'm well-grounded " on their breast
and guys a "I can be funny" on their behind. So anyone can tell at first look
:D
 
@ suki-yaki

ah suki, are you raving on about cute boys again? lol fair enough I'm sure if I had been deprived of growing up with girls I would probably go crazy lol.

Don't worry sweetie you will find that cute boy (with the bishi-ness) who will love you back as well
 
hmm I don't get hit on much, but could be I don't look very approachable sometimes too. "You always look like your pissed." is the usual visual aid i guess i provide to people. I think it's just ignorance of getting to know a person 1st that causes people to view no further than the skin. But it goes with out saying people are attracted to what they think is pretty. doesn't matter if it is a person anime or object. If it visually satifies them thats what gets thier attention. basically dating is marketing you sell your self. men and women know what they need to do to catch someone's eye just some prefer not to be bothered with all the efforts. It's like i have my likings that could be different from everyone else. So a person being called superficial for it I think is kind of prejudice. well enough my ramblings. [azumanga]I LIKE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS AND STUFF!!!! [/azumanga]
 
Lacan said:
maybe girls should put a " I'm well-grounded " on their breast
and guys a "I can be funny" on their behind. So anyone can tell at first look
:D
you know, thats a good idea...
 
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