Mycernius
The Hairy Wookie
- 4 Feb 2005
- 4,644
- 203
Another little gem I recieved from a friend
Oh the joys of the English Language........these are genuine clips from council complaint letters
1. It's the dog's mess I find hard to swallow
2. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it
3. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more
4.I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off
5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage
6. ...and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence
7. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off
8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall
10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy
12. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers
13. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared
14. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink
15. i want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his **** wakes me up and it's getting too much for me
16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces
17. the man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unslightly and dangerous
18. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it
19. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night
20. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife
21. I had the clerk of works down on the floor six times, but I still have no satisfaction
22. this is to let you know that opur lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2
I love No.3
Oh the joys of the English Language........these are genuine clips from council complaint letters
1. It's the dog's mess I find hard to swallow
2. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it
3. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more
4.I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off
5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage
6. ...and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence
7. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off
8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall
10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy
12. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers
13. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared
14. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink
15. i want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his **** wakes me up and it's getting too much for me
16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces
17. the man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unslightly and dangerous
18. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it
19. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night
20. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife
21. I had the clerk of works down on the floor six times, but I still have no satisfaction
22. this is to let you know that opur lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2
I love No.3
I like these......... 
