angeia
後輩
- 31 Jul 2013
- 3
- 3
I never thought I'd be this stumped, even after living in Niigata Japan for 2 years, but here goes.
I'm interested in a Japanese guy, but I have absolutely no idea if he's even slightly interested back or if I should just drop this whole charade altogether. I really feel that Japanese men are harder to read than Chinese and Korean ones, and it's downright tiring. I need help.
I'm an American girl living in Shanghai, China and I have a ton of Japanese friends here (I also work at a Japanese company, I speak Japanese everyday). My best Japanese friend invited me out drinking with his Japanese friends (all dudes) and we had an absolute blast—conversation was flowing, good times were had, constant laughing. One of the guys (I'll call him TK) was from Niigata, and I almost **** a brick because I never meet anyone from Niigata outside of Niigata. Ever. After drinking all night, when saying farewell I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and asked for his number.
He texted me and said it was great to meet, hope to hang out again soon, and texted me random stuff about Niigata and other things over the next few days. He's pretty international, he speaks an ok level of English and has traveled all over the world solo.
Thus, I invited him to a house party my foreigner friends were having, since he seemed a bit more international and might enjoy it. He was a bit nervous, me too, but in the end it was an ok evening.
I invited him to another party the following week, and he came and we had a good time.
I really wanted to get to know him better, but I didn't want to be too forward and decided to just let it go. When I told my British friend about this, she took my phone, texted him "let's meet up this weekend" and sent the text. I was extremely embarrassed, but was delighted to see him reply and ask me when I was free.
Just the two of us went out for lunch, I was so nervous. After an hour my nerves finally cooled, and we talked. We really hit it off and while I thought we were just having lunch, we ended up spending the whole afternoon together (about 4 hrs) just talking and walking around.
But afterwardsﾂ… no response.
As you see the pattern above, I'm always inviting him out to do stuff and the opposite never occurs. He doesn't SEEM like the extremely shy type, but he doesn't seem like the assertive, forward type either. While I'd like to get to know him better, I have no idea if he feels the same. I'm not getting any feedback. As a western woman who has dated Asian men in the past, I know that we have to be the more forward of the two (like, ask them out) or nothing is going to get done.
Still, it's downright tiring. I don't know if this is normal for a Japanese guy, or if he literally has 0% interest. Whenever I invite him out to events or even just to lunch, he seems so excited and never says no, soﾂ… I have no idea. I want to know if this is culture difference, or if he's really not that into me.
Sorry I wrote a mini novel up there. Japanese men are just so hard to read. When I lived in Japan 3 years ago I went on a few dates with Japanese guys, but was still as confused as ever. Now that it's been 3 years since I left Japan, I'm even more dazed as to what to think. (It's no wonder I had a Korean bf in Japan).
Anywayﾂ… any response would be helpful!!! I want to stop agonizing.
Thanks!
I'm interested in a Japanese guy, but I have absolutely no idea if he's even slightly interested back or if I should just drop this whole charade altogether. I really feel that Japanese men are harder to read than Chinese and Korean ones, and it's downright tiring. I need help.
I'm an American girl living in Shanghai, China and I have a ton of Japanese friends here (I also work at a Japanese company, I speak Japanese everyday). My best Japanese friend invited me out drinking with his Japanese friends (all dudes) and we had an absolute blast—conversation was flowing, good times were had, constant laughing. One of the guys (I'll call him TK) was from Niigata, and I almost **** a brick because I never meet anyone from Niigata outside of Niigata. Ever. After drinking all night, when saying farewell I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and asked for his number.
He texted me and said it was great to meet, hope to hang out again soon, and texted me random stuff about Niigata and other things over the next few days. He's pretty international, he speaks an ok level of English and has traveled all over the world solo.
Thus, I invited him to a house party my foreigner friends were having, since he seemed a bit more international and might enjoy it. He was a bit nervous, me too, but in the end it was an ok evening.
I invited him to another party the following week, and he came and we had a good time.
I really wanted to get to know him better, but I didn't want to be too forward and decided to just let it go. When I told my British friend about this, she took my phone, texted him "let's meet up this weekend" and sent the text. I was extremely embarrassed, but was delighted to see him reply and ask me when I was free.
Just the two of us went out for lunch, I was so nervous. After an hour my nerves finally cooled, and we talked. We really hit it off and while I thought we were just having lunch, we ended up spending the whole afternoon together (about 4 hrs) just talking and walking around.
But afterwardsﾂ… no response.
As you see the pattern above, I'm always inviting him out to do stuff and the opposite never occurs. He doesn't SEEM like the extremely shy type, but he doesn't seem like the assertive, forward type either. While I'd like to get to know him better, I have no idea if he feels the same. I'm not getting any feedback. As a western woman who has dated Asian men in the past, I know that we have to be the more forward of the two (like, ask them out) or nothing is going to get done.
Still, it's downright tiring. I don't know if this is normal for a Japanese guy, or if he literally has 0% interest. Whenever I invite him out to events or even just to lunch, he seems so excited and never says no, soﾂ… I have no idea. I want to know if this is culture difference, or if he's really not that into me.
Sorry I wrote a mini novel up there. Japanese men are just so hard to read. When I lived in Japan 3 years ago I went on a few dates with Japanese guys, but was still as confused as ever. Now that it's been 3 years since I left Japan, I'm even more dazed as to what to think. (It's no wonder I had a Korean bf in Japan).
Anywayﾂ… any response would be helpful!!! I want to stop agonizing.
Thanks!
