の or ん is just to add more concern to the question...
example, どうしますか? sounds neutral. どうしたの?or どうしたんですか? convey a little more concern. I think male or female uses it.
Kore jibunde kaita no. I wrote this myself.
Atama ga itai no. I have a headache.
(2) If you want to make it a question on the other hand (with a rising intonation) it becomes nothing more than a shortened form of "no desu ka"? In this case used mostly in reacting to surprising or unusual situations or turn of events.
Ima konai no? Aren't you coming now?
Doushita no? What's the matter?
But you don't really say 元気いるの? or なんの? so this may not be of much help. Maybe someone else can understand better....
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