Can you correct my translation of this poem/song?

[munzy]

Hello, I try my best to translate, but can you help me to correct my english? I dont know how to say it well...
I dont know sometimes who is the subject, if it's I or you...
It's the first time I try to do a poem, so I really wish to listen what other people think and correct me!
Thank you for who can help me!

EDIT: ok don't matter...

 

[munzy]

I'm sorry, I thought it was easy to translate I was able to understand me that im not good at all.... I don't know maybe its too difficult? I see 64 people come inside my topic... Im really wondering if what im trying to translate is too hard? (so i can't translate mee, ) but i think was easy enough..

 

[Toritoribe]

I'm afraid I have to say yes. Beginner learners like you often try to translate J-POP lyrics, but poems or lyrics are too hard to translate even for intermidiate learners or maybe for advanced learners, I believe.
Another reason of no reply to your post is "too long" and "too much".;-)

 

[munzy]

I understand... I thought it was easy for intermediate...
thank you ...