Are you M/F?

There's an interesting book on the real differences between men and women. They concluded that it's mostly some minor physical differences, and mostly the differences are experiential differences. Rather than women are prone to think this or that way just because they are women - it has more to do with the experiences they've had.

For example, women are supposedly more helpful and compassionate. But they found that men are also just as helpful in their own way. For example, they know how to change a tire and often they are more than willing to help with things like that. So also this book breaks down the negative stereotypes of what men are supposedly supposed to be like as well.

It irritates me when I read things about what women think, when I often don't think that way. For example "chick flicks". I'm supposed to like films like "Sleepless in Seattle" - which I found a bore. And not like action films and such. As a kid, my older brother liked war movies, and so I developed a liking for war movies. (my fave- Bridge Over the River Kwai"). I do like romance, just as "Shall we Dance" - (the Japanese version naturally), if it's done intelligently, or funny, but most romance movies are such a bore. Why put up barriers for yourself, I'm curious so wouldn't want to limit myself to thinking in a particular way just because of my gender.

And this book showed that many of the ways that men and women are different in are...it's easier to show it geometrically. Take one circle for men, one circle for women, there is always an overlap. Therefore the possibilities for what you think or what you're like are limitless. So when you read articles that men are one way and women are another, it's very generalized, and yet they often don't point that out to you. Why would anyone want to limit themselves? I hope that makes sense. My brains are a bit mushy today. And what's the name of this book? I can't remember, but I'll let you know when the fog has cleared.

Someone in Seattle said that men and women are becoming more similar mentally. I think that's a good thing - we can understand each other better and relate more.

That book is called "The Mismeasure of Woman - Why women are not the better sex, the inferior sex, or the opposite sex" by Carol Tavris. It's an interesting read for anyone that...might be interested.

Alright Lemonette, I'll give that book a read. I've already done three books and a good number of sciece articles and papers on the subject, and am always looking for balance. The matter of experience may possibly be the 'gender schema' thing that society unconsciously applies on its members.

Hey, we do have a bit in common, though, huh? :winklove: Until my mid-freshman year of highschool, we lived out on the edge of town, in a wooded area that belonged to the family from some time back. In that area lived my father's two sisters and their families, and his mother and one unwed aunt. His sisters both had ONLY girls. In my family there were just me and my three sisters. I grew up with 7 girls to play with and run and romp with--I know for a fact that that experience did have some affect on my frame of thought towards feminine 'norms', if you will.

Yes, it is an average difference, in that the studies can only go for the averages, because each and every individual is of course different. Not every male fits the average 'male model' and not every female fits the average 'female model'.

I hope to hear from you again !

ps. for those humorusly wondering, I did play Barbie Doll with the ladies, and yes, I was usually Ken, and yes, I drove the car, but no, it was always paternal.

Mars Man said:

ps. for those humorusly wondering, I did play Barbie Doll with the ladies, and yes, I was usually Ken, and yes, I drove the car, but no, it was always paternal.

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what a disappointment. i just was hoping to hear some up-front stories worth freudian notes and silly giggling. But, alas

yeah, there is an overlap (sign under it with my both hands, `cause i am the living example ) But still there does exists the difference which we shouldn`t forget about and not to get aggravated with things which just can`t be done any other way and not an attempt to irritate each other

I'm with you on that Void !! We all should give room for the differences.

prikrashna!! Excellent !!

I'm male and am not afraid to say.

Hey Mars Man, that's very interesting that you had all the female influence growing up. Jarvis Cocker had alot of women when he was growing up and I often wonder if that is one reason I can relate to him so well. And his favorite color is pink - I hated pink when I was a kid - being such a tomboy. I could relate to girls too though. Now I like pink sometimes but too much of it still makes me ill.

I have a telling story about playing Barbie. My first fashion doll, a neighbors boy's mother made a nurses outfit for my doll, so I could play the nurse to the boys GI Joes. Although I appreciated her effort, I was very disappointed because I wanted to play war with them, not be the nurse It's a sad story, but true... However I got a Barbie and also liked playing girl things with her by myself.

We will meet again Mars Man, aliens always seem to find me....

I couldn't find this thread to save my life, for sometime...who knows...

Anyway, nice Lemonette !! I know where you are coming from, basically, because the girls sometimes kind of did the same.

Yeah, I hear you, we will meet again !!

Mars Man said:

O.k. I took the test put out by the Pease's, in their book 'why women can't read maps, and men don't listen' and say that I fell in just below the overlap zone (so my brain is wired with a fair degree of femininity)

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I found this test online at mcmillan.net.nz
My results:
Masculine Brain
You demonstrate moderate logical, analytical and verbal skills. You will tend to be disciplined and organised in many areas of your life.

You are likely to be good at projecting costs and planning outcomes, being only slightly influenced by emotional considerations.

This doesn't surprise me at all, as I have always been a tomboy. I hate girly stuff.

Good quiz - I got the masculine brain too. However I didn't totally agree with the results. They said I was moderately logical, analytical and verbal skills - I think I'm very analytical and logical when I want to be. My verbal skills - in the middle I guess. Disciplined and organized? Where did they get that - because I have to make a list in order to remember what I have to do that day? I need to work on being more disciplined and organized - so that's all wrong. And although logical I'm also very influenced by emotional considerations - because I think you need both logic and emotion to find the truth about many things. Maybe that's why they put me down as moderately analytical - because I do use emotions in understanding of many things. So I think I'm a mix, although more masculine than feminine. However it's a fun test and it did get alot right. I've always been a tomboy too. Tomboys are great!

Lemonette, if you take make 'things to do' lists, then perhaps that, in itself, is being disciplined and orderly. But I'd say that such tests of course have whatever degree of margin for error.

Now you dear, sweet people are SO good at finding things on the net; I still have some problems with that. Wow......

And tomboys...sounds o.k. with me, I have always been attracted to tomboy (to a degree) type girls, from way back--Mchan, here is one.

Limonette said:

Disciplined and organized? Where did they get that ...I'm a mix, although more masculine than feminine. However it's a fun test and it did get alot right. I've always been a tomboy too. Tomboys are great!

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I don't think I'm organised either. But like you, I think it was mostly right. Tomboys rule! I bet you climbed trees and made dens and grass slides when you were a kid, right?

Tomboys

Limonette said:

that's very interesting that you had all the female influence growing up. Jarvis Cocker had alot of women when he was growing up and I often wonder if that is one reason I can relate to him so well. And his favorite color is pink

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I'm glad that I'm not very masculine.
A lot of women don't like it, but when you find one who does they really appreciate it.
Maybe my lack of interest in football (and most other sports) kept me out of many 'manly' environment. My mate told me about a Skateboarder he knew who had a T-shirt saying; 'Football is Rubbish'. Respect to him.

I have nothing against football, but I've had a lot of grief over the years from people who cannot understand why I don't like it.

he-he, let`s make a party of tomboys
i`ve got masculine brain as well (don`t remember what they say in results), and other tests from Tsuyoilo`s link said that i have prevaling right hemisphere... oops!

I can't remember alot Tsuyoiko- I remember hanging out with the boys outside. Once we were jumping off a shed and they were telling me it's ok to jump, but I was stuck there for a while, too scared to do it. I was the smallest kid there, but I finally did and it was the thrill of a lifetime. I was never good at sports though. I was more an intellectual tomboy I think. I liked war movies & stuff. Oh yeah I had a favorite tree to climb too and I liked riding bikes. I don't think we did grass slides, but we dug a giant hole in the back yard.

I totally agree about sports Rich - I find them so boring to watch. When someone starts to talk sports my eyes glaze over, and my brain goes numb. Except that I like the Olympics. I think I like guys that aren't too masculine, or a mix, because I'm a mix too, and I think we understand each other better. They also seem more open minded. And people that don't limit themselves to a certain way of being are more interesting I think. More possibilities.

Cool Void, yeah we can have a secret clubhouse party for tomboys. Boys who score high on the feminine side are invited too of course.

Limonette said:

I was never good at sports though. I was more an intellectual tomboy I think.

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Me too! I was so bad at PE. I still hate sport as I associate it with being shouted at!

Limonette said:

Cool Void, yeah we can have a secret clubhouse party for tomboys. Boys who score high on the feminine side are invited too of course.

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Yeh! Race you to the big tree!

I have such awful memories of PE - like the time I was hit in the eye with a tennis ball - and the time I hated it so much that I skipped alot and the meanest PE teacher on earth assigned me to the longest hardest race on the last day of class and I almost died. Not really but the girls were asking if I was ok. Now I like things like hiking, biking canoeing and dog paddling, but those are much nicer sports.

I have a masculine brain, it says. I took it a few days ago, and don't remember the percentage, but it was masculine...

I was somewhat of a tomboy too, but I was definitely more on the "femme" side... ;-)

Oh, and I hated PE too, and my mom was a PE teacher!

Oh no - I wasn't especially good math, and my mom was a math teacher! So I can relate.