How to court a japanese girl

[kokoro123]

Hello Everyone. It is my first time here to post.
I'm here to ask advice on how to court a japanese girl.
I am a graduating student, and I met her in my university. She is an exchange student, and went to our country.
I met her once in a party, and I got her email.
Since, I wanted to show my interest to her, I ask her what music she likes,then and I sent her a recording of my guitar. She said she liked it and was surprised.
But after that, I didn't send a message after 1 month... I was busy doing my homework and studying. I am a hardworking student and will graduate with honors.
This February, the month of love, I want to do something.. I never had a girlfriend, and I'm not sure how to court a girl, not much more how to court a japanese girl.
I really want to know more about her , or ask her to go out together..
I plan to send her message, "How are you doing? " and hope she is doing fine. But after that, I'm not sure what i'm going to do. Please give me advice.
I am a thin/slim boy but hardworking and intelligent. If you can give me hints/steps to ask her out, not in an awkward way, please help me. Please also consider the timeframe, since we didn't talk for one month, and we've only met once. \

Thank you very much!

---------- Post added at 15:23 ---------- Previous post was at 15:18 ----------

By the way, there is a problem: she saw me sitting together with my japanese friend (girl) who invited me to the party. I don't know if she felt jealous. But she didn't sit with boys, only girls during the party where we met.

I'm also certain that she is single.. Thanks again!

 

[Davey]

Just send her a message tell her you've been busy and ask how she is doing, if she replies you can ask if she wants to get a coffee together or study together...
That's it!

 

[kokoro123]

can I do it that fast? I think she will reply after asking her if she is fine, at most after 1 day.
Also can I ask tea /coffee near the university instead? and the talk is just 1 hour. (is this enough or long)? Thank you very much!

 

[Davey]

So what happened?

 

[Emoni]

Step 1: Don't care too much about it
Step 2: Casually invite her to join you and some other friends on a simple outing somewhere, see how it goes.
Step 3: Just see how things go.

 

[Apollo]

I am curious too. What happened?

 

[kokoro123]

Hello everyone. I was not able to do anything during valentines,

but I was able to invite her to a restaurant after one month, with other friends and she was happy. She told me she look forward to going out with other friends.

This time, I invited her to join our social (formal) dance, party 7 days before the event, only her, but she didn't reply anymore.

Maybe, I'm just good at academics, but not in courting. Anyway, what do you think?

---------- Post added at 20:29 ---------- Previous post was at 20:25 ----------

it is just 1 day left before the dance party. I was sad, but I think it is allright...

 

[Glenski]

You are taking too long between contacts, IMO. It is all right to go out with her and some friends. It adds a sense of safety and security to her, but eventually you will have to go out alone. In that case, forget asking by email. Phone her or ask her face to face.

That's if it ever goes further than it is now.

 

[ryokooo1]

Don't take it seriouslly!
You should talk with her and ask to go eating casually as a friend, at first^^
Maybe,she feel glad to be got friendly with foreign people because most of exhange people want to meke friends with local people!
So let's start from getting friendlly with her^^

 

[kokoro123]

Hello again everyone. Thanks for your advice.

It is now may.
In april, my first plan of inviting her to a dance failed, but i invited her (by cellphone) again in our graduation ceremony. and one day before the ceremony, she replied and confirmed to come. It was a little successful, I was able to have pictures with her.

Now suddenly for one month, we didn't have communication. I went to another place for work and came back in May.

I kept sending her email messages with my guitar recording of what i'm doing now, but she didn't reply to it, unlike before. but somehow I think she replies in cellphone messages. ( I have her number). In my email messages, I kept inviting her in simple ways ( eg. giving something I got , souveniers, etc). These days, Also even if I see her online (in chat) , I don't send her message.

I am about to give up, but I wanted to send her a message to invite her again , or say hello in by cellphone message, what do you think? For me, even if we just become friends, i'm happy as long as she becomes happy too. What i'm very sure is I want to maintain communication.

To All: Thank you for replying here in these thread. I really appreciate your help and time to give advice. I'll try to improve myself! ( It feels like Densha otoko). Thank you.

---------- Post added at 01:08 ---------- Previous post was at 01:06 ----------

By the way ryoko-san, I was able to invite her with other japanese friends on a party two times, and she was happy. I tried being friendly with her at first. but now, I tried to become closer to her, and maybe she felt very surprised, so doesn't reply anymore in email these days. Anyway thanks for your advice. I would love to hear from you again. ^^

 

[Wardie1993]

how would a fat (that alone means i dont stand a chance, but its worth a shot) white non-Japanese lad (with white skin and blue-ish eyes) who isnt brilliant at Japanese but is learning go about courting one?

 

[SevenStarsHK2N]

For a start you can drop the word "courting"

I mean "courting", REALLY?

second up, I will let you in on a little secret.

It's the same.

You do exactly what you would do anywhere else.

Be confident, Be outgoing, Be yourself.

There is not a single girl in the world you cannot laugh into bed.

Are there differences, shure.

to put it one way.
If your good at tennis your good at tennis.
If you played your whole life on grass courts and you're confident with your racket and have skill on the ball,
then you will do just fine playing on clay.

 

[Wardie1993]

ive never courted a lass before, i dunno what to do

 

[Mike Cash]

If its a Japanese girl, just say "Otonashiku tsuite koi"

 

[Wardie1993]

what does that mean?

 

[SevenStarsHK2N]

ive never courted a lass before, i dunno what to do

There's books and Interent all about it.

though i would say.

go out there and do it.

go somewhere you don't care about. / are not known, with a mate.

and talk to as many girls as you can.

you will get rejected a lot.

and thats fine. Thats how you learn.

just be nice, talk to them as genuine people, try to make them laugh.

 

[Lestat84]

Your scarcity of communication is a killer if you are looking to DATE this girl. My advice is be direct. Don't play games, that's how you wind up in the friend zone. At this point, ask her to go somewhere where it's just the two of you, and tell her you want to date her. If she says yes, great!I if she says no, oh well. You tried. If that fails then go to a social gather gathering and talk to girls and see if there's a connection.