Preference for Japanese woman?

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I think the thing people are really criticizing is other people's lack of openness to other possibilities, more than anything. It's not that he dates Asians, it's that he's unwilling to date other races, that has people in a miff. But how many people in here would honestly do something they knew they didn't like or weren't interested in just to give off the appearance of being politically correct? Am I supposed to date people I'm not attracted to simply so I can avoid criticism from people? Then I'm not only lying to everyone else but to the person I'm dating and I've also succeeded in commoditizing them.

Exactly it's the same as people saying "American cars are built better than imported Japanese crap. American muscle raawr." Simply saying Japanese cars are not bad they are just not the type of cars I like. That shows that the person considers the non American car just as nice but not what they want. When person explicitly says "I only date Asian women" They are shallow and have narrow minded way of thinking "Asian women are superior in every way and that is why I date them" That's what I hear from such a statement.
 
I didn't have a choice in the matter (Of dating an Asian woman), as there were only Japanese women to choose from or should I say be chosen from. I am fairly certain this was b/c I was in Japan when I started dating my wife, I thought about it pretty hard and I could not think of any other reason why there were only Japanese women to date, there seems to be a lot of Japanese here. 😊
 
You like what you like. So, what if the reason behind it is shallow? I don't think you can be attracted to someone/something by trying consciously.

I do have a problem when someone has to put down "the others" in order to praise and declare his love for Japanese women, but his being attracted only to Japanese women and wanting to date only them? It is his preference.

I think the reason why some people are bothered by this is that this "preference", often times, is based on myths and stereotypes about Japanese women.

There is no point in telling them, "Hey, your idea of Japanese women is nothing but a bunch of stereotypes!". They will only realise it when they experience an event for themselves that proves them wrong. That may never happen to some of them.

I mean, do we really care about these men so much that we feel bad for them depriving themselves of chances to meet great women of other ethnicities? I somehow doubt that.

They want to date Japanese women. There are Japanese women who want to date them. Let them date.
 
Does anybody know what an "urban legend" is?

Urban legend - Wikipedia


Well, that Japanese women are "extremely docile, subservient, eager to serve foreign men in bed..." is one of them. I'm sure of that.
 
IMO if a western man prefers to date only, and ONLY Japanese/Asian women, especially when he has never lived in said country, it is solely because I believe he is brainwashed by the culture of anime, manga, misleading blogs and the internet as a whole, and maybe even by the porn so prevelant on the internet today etc. Such a man is uncultured and is only following a fantasy that will inevitably lead to disappointment in the long run when he runs across an independent Asian woman who will slice him to threads and burst his bubble.

As I've said in previous threads, sure, there are women who fit the mold of the docile, subservient woman who puts their man on a pedestal and always will as that is the culture of Japan, but it is by no means the norm in modern Japan today. These stereo-typical women usually do not seek out foreign men and prefer their own kind and will usually never marry a foreign man nevermind date one unless they happen to meet by chance and "hit it off" so to speak. Of course one may find this rare woman who does fit the mold of the "typical Japanese woman" and will marry a foreign man, but it is rare and if one of these marriages succeeds in the long run, it is truly an accomplishment.

In my own case, I married a Japanese woman and preferred dating them because, as Frustrated Dave alluded to above, I had no other option. I lived there! Foreign women were very few and far between and were rare and those few that I did meet were already taken and the rare two that I dated we just did not hit it off as the "spark" was not there. Besides, I was living in Japan at the time and had no intention of leaving and they were just passing through.

Don't get me wrong here, and I will be honest, if given the choice between dating a Japanese/Asian woman or a western woman, and all things being equal, I would probably choose to date the Japanese/Asian woman because I personally find them visually attractive and have far more experience with them than I do with woman my own race. Why? I cannot explain it. (And yes I have also dated a Korean, a Chinese, and a Thai woman. All in Japan)

However, on the other hand, there are many a foreign women that I also find very attractive if they have dark hair as that is just the way I am and I cannot explain it. I am just attracted to dark hair and if the dark hair is on a Japanese/Asian so much the better. It's just me and the circumstances that perhaps "molded" my thinking.

But, looking back on it and being completely honest with myself, I was ALWAYS attracted to Asian women from the time in the US I first discovered women around puberty! Again, I cannot offer any logical explaination for this weird attraction at such a young age and with hardly any knowledge of Asia and their women and culture. It was just there and ending up in Japan was a dream come true. There may also be some western males like myself who also have this same, odd attraction to Asian women for reasons they themselves cannot explain.

However, in my own case, while in Japan, I did not prefer the demure, docile, submissive, stay-at-home stereo-typical Japanese woman that so many western men seem to look for as that was not my type and I did not seek them out. In fact I avoided them at all costs. However, I was lucky enough to meet an independent one who would give any western woman a run for their money when it comes to independence and not fitting the Japanese mold. In this I feel I hit the jackpot, so to speak as I have the best of both of western and Asian culture.

However, and I do not have the time to go into it here, while remaining independent and working, she still retains some of the Japanese culture in that the man should not do certain things like cook and clean even though I insist on it as she holds a full-time executive job to boot!

Over the past 28 years since we've been together, I've just given up on trying to "help out" around the house and just do the "manly" things like mowing the lawn, fix things, take out the garbage, take care of the cars, etc and accepted it and, in a word, it is "paradise" (to me anyway) and it has worked for us.

Could I date a western woman and maybe remarry should I suddenly become single? Yes I could as I prefer to look at the whole person and what's inside them rather than just their race or ethnicity. However, they would probably have dark hair!
 
Pretty much Pchipro's post ends this thread. It is what it is and the sooner people just learn to deal with it instead of making a big fuss about it the better.
 
Personally, I've been attracted to various types of women, and Asian women were among them based solely on looks. I've also met Asian women I'd never touch with a 1-foot pole based on far more important criteria.

I married a Japanese because of many factors, none being stereotypes. My wife is far from being the docile, subservient type.

People who date based on stereotypes soon learn, often the hard way. And, there is no telling them otherwise beforehand.
 
Pretty much Pchipro's post ends this thread. It is what it is and the sooner people just learn to deal with it instead of making a big fuss about it the better.

But even Pachipro, who was very forward and honest, still said that given the choice between an equally good looking asian or western woman he would choose the Asian woman.

It's just something I've rarely seen with other races. It is only with white people (N. Americans specifically) , really, that I've seen where they will, in a way, put their own women aside for another countries women, even if all they are attracted to is a stereotype. Of all the races I've known white people are pretty much the only ones where a large number will look at a woman of their own race and basically say, you're not good enough ... these women are much more beautiful.

Of course there is a lot of bias here because this is a forum about Japan, so I would expect the majority to favor J.women but I'm still not sure what to think of someone that says 'if two equally beautiful western and j.women were standing before me I would pick the j.woman simply because she is Japanese'.


AyumiHamasakiandZhangZiyijpeg-1.webp


I'm not sure I'm getting what is the big deal with J.women. Yes they are beautiful but not any more beautiful that any other women, black, white, asian, hispanic ect. I'm just not getting the 'super awesomeness' of them that other people seem to be seeing.
 
...I'm not sure I'm getting what is the big deal with J.women. Yes they are beautiful but not any more beautiful that any other women, black, white, asian, hispanic ect. I'm just not getting the 'super awesomeness' of them that other people seem to be seeing.

It is just people's preferences. Why do you prefer Monet over Rembrandt?
Both painters have many paintings, each one different from the next. Both painters paint beautiful paintings.
 
Actually, if I had to choose purely by looks from one of the two women in the pictures above, I would pick the white woman. The other one doesn't do it for me. Is that Hamasaki Ayumi?
 
It is just people's preferences. Why do you prefer Monet over Rembrandt?
Both painters have many paintings, each one different from the next. Both painters paint beautiful paintings.

Actually, I prefer Jean-Honore Fragonard but that's beside the point. But if we're going to use this analogy: it's a little odd for someone to shun Monet and say he's not a good artist simply because they prefer Rembrandt.

.... :p I feel really artsy now.
 

The Charisma Man strip, albeit hilarious in its own exaggerated sense. Still fits to something sincere a coworker of mine said to me when he found out I got orders to Japan. He had been to Yokosuka, with myself going to Misawa. He brought the topic up to me and I casually asked him. "So what can you tell me about your experience in Japan?" First thing out of his mouth. "I can tell you that you'll have the hottest girlfriend you've ever had in your life."
 
...it's a little odd for someone to shun Monet and say he's not a good artist simply because they prefer Rembrandt.
.... :p I feel really artsy now.

I don't think that is odd at all. I prefer Backstreet Boys over 'N SYNCH because BSB has a much tighter harmony than 'N SYNCH. 'N SYNCH is just a bunch of no-talent pretty boys who cannot sing/dance/melt my heart the way the boys of BSB can. Now, a lot of people will disagree with me, but that is my preference/opinion.
 
I don't think that is odd at all. I prefer Backstreet Boys over 'N SYNCH because BSB has a much tighter harmony than 'N SYNCH. 'N SYNCH is just a bunch of no-talent pretty boys who cannot sing/dance/melt my heart the way the boys of BSB can. Now, a lot of people will disagree with me, but that is my preference/opinion.

Now this is a no-win argument because I think both bands are terrible and that the Spice Girls were much better. They had the better gimmick and they at least had a range of songs that didn't involve dancing in the rain in white shirts.
 
Now this is a no-win argument because I think both bands are terrible and that the Spice Girls were much better. They had the better gimmick and they at least had a range of songs that didn't involve dancing in the rain in white shirts.

See? That was my point. Although, I should have made my example more accurate by saying "I prefer songs by BSB over those by 'N SYNCH". That way I'd be expressing the pararel between that and prefering Japanese women over others much better.

Spice Girls has many songs to their credit. So do BSB/NSYNCH. If you looked at the individual songs by those three groups, it's likely that you'd find songs by each group of equal qualities. Yet, many would not listen to those boy bands' songs beacuse......?
 
See? That was my point. Although, I should have made my example more accurate by saying "I prefer songs by BSB over those by 'N SYNCH". That way I'd be expressing the pararel between that and prefering Japanese women over others much better.
Spice Girls has many songs to their credit. So do BSB/NSYNCH. If you looked at the individual songs by those three groups, it's likely that you'd find songs by each group of equal qualities. Yet, many would not listen to those boy bands' songs beacuse......?

Because it's a preference. But isn't that kind of a non-argument, nobody was saying guys shouldn't like Japanese women. I mean, why not, they are just like other women, they have their good, their bad, their beautiful and their ugly.

What was being debated was why some men choose to ONLY want Japanese/Asian women and what the appeal is of these women that would make a person shun other races (even their own) because they can't measure up to whatever it is said men think these women have to offer.
Maybe it's their looks, maybe it's their way of dressing, could be their mannerisms, could be the appeal of a traditionalist relationship ... I'm not a guy so I couldn't tell what the appeal is.
 
...What was being debated was why some men choose to ONLY want Japanese/Asian women and what the appeal is of these women that would make a person shun other races (even their own) because they can't measure up to whatever it is said men think these women have to offer.

That is exactly what I was trying to say with my posts. Men who choose to date Japanese women exclusively do so because they, more often than not, have these pre-conceived ideas about Japanese women. They like the idea of themselves dating Japanese women because Japanese women are ______, ______, _______ and _______ (insert any stereotypes about them).

I do understand that it is silly, but it is just how some people are. Like I've said in an earlier post, if that makes them happy, and if there are women who want to date those men, why not? As I also have said, I do agree with you and others that if they went a step further by putting down/insulting non-Japanese women, only then, I'd have a problem.
 

Well...in a sense, this picture is not so far from the average Roppongian truth...
I've been working in the Azabudai district for over a month and a half now, and wherever I look around me, I see many western man-Japanese lady couples.
Many of them impressed me because most of the time, the guy looks pretty (below) average while I find the woman to be rather good looking.

Many westerners who come here are only looking forward to dating Japanese ladies, and after talking to some of them, the "I can't imagine dating a woman from my country again" was often something I was told.

I think it was said before, but asian women tend to be more feminine (makup, etc.) with a slender build, which seems to be the type of ideal beauty broadcasted by medias nowadays. Moreover, the traditional image that Japan gives off doesn't makes thing better (Docile wives, samurai spirit, etc.).

Also, I've noticed a change of character in many of my zestern colleagues when they come here. They tend to be much more active and daring than in their country, which in turn leads to more success (ナ津頁椎?窶堙俄?愿シ窶堙ァ窶堋ク窶堙ア窶堙芝津頁スq窶堙ー窶慊セ窶堋ク). This might also be one of the reason for the origin of the "As long as you look like a Westerner you'll attract the Japanese ladies" myth.

(Un?)Fortunately for me, I look asian so I do not attract the attention at all here, and as long as I shut my mouth, I can calmly assess most situations.

Still, it would freak me out if a girl were interrested in me only because I am asian and she doesn't want to date western guys. Rather, that would make me feel pretty insecure about a potential relation.
 
Actually, I prefer Jean-Honore Fragonard but that's beside the point. But if we're going to use this analogy: it's a little odd for someone to shun Monet and say he's not a good artist simply because they prefer Rembrandt.
.... :p I feel really artsy now.
I think you not really seeing the point of the analogy, it is a preferance not saying at all that the other is not good, only that someone may prefer that artist to the other.

Even so, why do people go for blonds ,brunets, skinny, big breasted, small breasted, tall , petite and the list goes on. Not only that I have seen people here in Japan talk about certain types of women they like, eg the cute type or the beautiful type and agin the list goes with peoples looks. I think you are taking the fact that some people prefer asians as an insult to you personally, I may be wrong about that but that is just how it seems.
 
What was being debated was why some men choose to ONLY want Japanese/Asian women and what the appeal is of these women that would make a person shun other races (even their own) because they can't measure up to whatever it is said men think these women have to offer.
Maybe it's their looks, maybe it's their way of dressing, could be their mannerisms, could be the appeal of a traditionalist relationship ... I'm not a guy so I couldn't tell what the appeal is.
Well, I am a guy, and I can't answer that either! :-)

ONLY Japanese women? Uh, ok. Your preference, guys. But with 3 billion women on the planet, look around. I say it's largely stereotype. If one is living in Japan, add to that the simple fact of percentages surrounding you. Beyond that, to quote William Shatner, "Have you ever kissed a girl? Get a life!"
I think it was said before, but asian women tend to be more feminine (makup, etc.) with a slender build, which seems to be the type of ideal beauty
Beauty is an obvious attraction just because it is geared toward the first of the 5 senses that assault us (putting aside that people who have never actually seen Asian women may go solely on hearsay and rumors about how hot they are, which usually means in bed). Beauty. Ok, uh, look around, I say. They may in general dress nicely in Japan, but there are plenty that dress dumpy and are overweight (and growing). But let's get down to the nitty gritty here -- personality. Lots / Most J women from their teens to 30s act quite immaturely, oftentimes horrendously so. That is a huge turnoff, but I suppose if a guy thinks with his loins more than his brain, he gets what he deserves. Personally, those high pitched "sugoi" and "eeeehhhh" and "majiiiiiiiiiii" make me sick. Glad my wife never talked like that when we were dating.
 
Personally, those high pitched "sugoi" and "eeeehhhh" and "majiiiiiiiiiii" make me sick.

You forget the "Kawaiiiiii" shouted so loud that it makes your ears bleed ^^
But I noticed that despite finding some asian women pretty, I am not attracted by them at all...
I mean that being friend is ok but so far, there've been only 2 that I'd have dated and one of them was from 4 years ago. (Well...not like I've dated that many western girls either, being the unpopular guy that I am ^^ )
 
If this attachment works, how about this woman? Personally, I think she's simply divine.
 

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