☝ Hi, I'm a university student in Kyoto and studying academic writtings. I want to correct my following short essay, can someone tell me the faults of this?
What I think about Japanese is that most of us are missing the reason why they live for, and the way they live in this peaceful and plentiful country. Simultaneously to their lack of the guide, the global significant changes are emerging in Japan and the world, and becoming problems to resolve immediately. Thus these critical issues flood into and will swallow us.
Japanese text is below.
(平和で豊かな生活を、多くの日本人は、自分が何のために生きているのか、どのように生きていきたいのかを、見失いつつあるように思われます。そして、その間にも、日本国内や世界のみならず地球規模での大きな変化が日々生起し、解決すべき問題となって私たちの元に押し寄せてきます。)
If you castigate my essay, I cannot be too grateful to you!!
What I think about Japanese is that most of us are missing the reason why they live for, and the way they live in this peaceful and plentiful country. Simultaneously to their lack of the guide, the global significant changes are emerging in Japan and the world, and becoming problems to resolve immediately. Thus these critical issues flood into and will swallow us.
Japanese text is below.
(平和で豊かな生活を、多くの日本人は、自分が何のために生きているのか、どのように生きていきたいのかを、見失いつつあるように思われます。そして、その間にも、日本国内や世界のみならず地球規模での大きな変化が日々生起し、解決すべき問題となって私たちの元に押し寄せてきます。)
If you castigate my essay, I cannot be too grateful to you!!