Do Japanese guys usually love bomb in the beginning stages? I met a Japanese guy on a exchange app. The first message he sent me was cute? Afterwards, we started talking, and he wanted me to go to a nightclub with him? I heard some say nightclubs are hookup spots and considered bad stigma in Japan? Ian this true? Also does these photos look like love bombing? I'm just wondering? I don't have any feelings for the guy, I just think of it as doing charity, since I'm not attracted to him.
Do Japanese guys usually Lovebomb in the beginning? Is this lovebombing?
- Thread starter miya29
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- 27 Dec 2003
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American guys love-bomb just as much as Japanese guys. It is a universal psychological phenomenon.
Don't go to a nightclub, instead, go to a coffee shop and just talk. Any pressure from him to do anything else is a big red flag— just as it is in America.
You have no feelings for the guy? Don't even go to a coffee shop with him.
Don't go to a nightclub, instead, go to a coffee shop and just talk. Any pressure from him to do anything else is a big red flag— just as it is in America.
You have no feelings for the guy? Don't even go to a coffee shop with him.
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I'm not usually attracted to asian guys. I thought hanging with him more, I might change my mind. I just thought the nightclub was weird to meetup at with a stranger I just met?
- 6 Mar 2003
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How is this love bombing? It just seems like excessive texting. Love bombing is when there is excessive affection and attentive behavior isn't it?
I don't know... a night club doesn't seem all that weird to me. It's not a dating app, right?
If you feel like you'll get something out of it -- like a fun night club experience -- then you could go. Just to keep on the safe side, maybe don't let him get you drinks or leave your drink unattended if you think there is any danger of love drugging.
I don't know... a night club doesn't seem all that weird to me. It's not a dating app, right?
If you feel like you'll get something out of it -- like a fun night club experience -- then you could go. Just to keep on the safe side, maybe don't let him get you drinks or leave your drink unattended if you think there is any danger of love drugging.
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- #6
Yeah that's why I was confuse? Does nightclubs have a bad sigma in Japan? I heard a couple expats say it's for hookups and etc?
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- #7
Thanks I don't know either lol. Thats why I was asking? This is my first time learning of love bombing, before I just thought of it as a guy being interested.
- 21 May 2003
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If he's in Japan and you're in the US , I wouldn't worry too much about it. On the internet , you never really know who's on the other end. He could be 40 and have fleas , LOL.
I had to look up love bombing , never heard that term before.
I had to look up love bombing , never heard that term before.
- 27 Dec 2003
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Miya,
Love-bombing is when a manipulative man meets a woman who is insecure and starved for attention and affection. He showers her with a lot of attention and affection, causing her to become emotionally attached to him in a negative way. The way you have described your situation doesn't sound like love-bombing to me.
Love-bombing is when a manipulative man meets a woman who is insecure and starved for attention and affection. He showers her with a lot of attention and affection, causing her to become emotionally attached to him in a negative way. The way you have described your situation doesn't sound like love-bombing to me.
- 6 Mar 2003
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Wait a minute, are you both in the U.S.? If so he probably just wants to see what an American nightclub is like. Or has he already been to some?
"nightclubs are hookup spots and considered bad stigma in Japan"
I suppose they are often hookup spots but aren't they in the U.S. as well? But many people go out to dance or drink or have fun don't they?
"nightclubs are hookup spots and considered bad stigma in Japan"
I suppose they are often hookup spots but aren't they in the U.S. as well? But many people go out to dance or drink or have fun don't they?
- 8 Aug 2005
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love-bombing isn't just an element in unhealthy relationships, it's a recruiting technique used by cults, malignant narcissists and authoritarian influences to foster that sense of dependency that Buntaro mentioned. This doesn't appear to fit that pattern, it often comes in the form of seeming really into you, asking a lot of questions to dig for information to both make you feel important and also to look for vulnerabilities and insecurities to exploit.
I don't know much about "exchange apps" or the nature of the one you connected with him through, but it seems like you're in the states, so maybe you're planning to go to Japan and are trying to build connections before going. This is not a bad idea, but I would also try not to give the guy any false hope if you aren't attracted to him. Be assertive and stand firm if he tries to pressure you into anything you don't feel comfortable with, including going anywhere isolated with a stranger.
This guy seems either excited to match with someone, or perhaps to match with someone who is "exotic" from his perspective... it's hard to tell if his excessive messaging is a red flag. He just seems a little over-eager, but he is also not using his native language so I'd relax my expectations and cut him some slack in this regard. However, saying you're an introvert and then suggesting a nightclub for the first meeting does strike me as odd, and I would not meet someone cold in that setting. A cafe or similarly casual spot would be a good option. Assuming you are going to Tokyo, I'd recommend meeting at Hachiko statue outside the station, walk through the "scramble" crossing and go wander around Miyashita Park (it's a mall but it has a nice open "park" on the roof). You could also meet at Harajuku and walk into Meiji jingu, which includes a nice walk that feels like you're in a forest in the middle of the city, but it's a popular place and you probably won't be outside of earshot of a dozen other people at any given time. You can then return to the station area and walk down Takeshita street and go to a local cafe or drink spot to talk.
I don't know much about "exchange apps" or the nature of the one you connected with him through, but it seems like you're in the states, so maybe you're planning to go to Japan and are trying to build connections before going. This is not a bad idea, but I would also try not to give the guy any false hope if you aren't attracted to him. Be assertive and stand firm if he tries to pressure you into anything you don't feel comfortable with, including going anywhere isolated with a stranger.
This guy seems either excited to match with someone, or perhaps to match with someone who is "exotic" from his perspective... it's hard to tell if his excessive messaging is a red flag. He just seems a little over-eager, but he is also not using his native language so I'd relax my expectations and cut him some slack in this regard. However, saying you're an introvert and then suggesting a nightclub for the first meeting does strike me as odd, and I would not meet someone cold in that setting. A cafe or similarly casual spot would be a good option. Assuming you are going to Tokyo, I'd recommend meeting at Hachiko statue outside the station, walk through the "scramble" crossing and go wander around Miyashita Park (it's a mall but it has a nice open "park" on the roof). You could also meet at Harajuku and walk into Meiji jingu, which includes a nice walk that feels like you're in a forest in the middle of the city, but it's a popular place and you probably won't be outside of earshot of a dozen other people at any given time. You can then return to the station area and walk down Takeshita street and go to a local cafe or drink spot to talk.
